Chapter 39

“Anyway, she can’t ride a horse… You said you could ride, didn’t you? So the vice-captain ordered a new saddle that can fit two people.”

“…”

“Ah, haha, the vice-captain is certainly thorough. He prepared everything before the captain even gave the order.”

Karel adjusted his posture as he listened to the knight’s clumsy attempt to smooth over the situation with awkward laughter.

…Come to think of it, that was true.

He had impulsively given the woman a name and decided to take her along, but he hadn’t paid attention to the process. Though he had imagined it constantly, ever since leaving Oedel and heading into the Gray Mountains, he hadn’t thought of it as a desire to share a future with her. 

It was simply the same as always—a temporary desire to stay close to the woman for now.

In any case, he hadn’t specifically planned the journey back to the royal capital with Shati. Thus, Winden seemed to have been discreetly preparing various things…

“Why don’t you try riding the horse with her for a test run? Staying cooped up in a room all day might be fine, but she would probably enjoy some fresh air as well.”

“…Such meddling.”

Though he muttered irritably and furrowed his brows, the suggestion was reasonable. He couldn’t help but feel annoyed that Winden and the knights were paying attention to aspects he hadn’t realized were necessary.

“Let’s go down and see.”

***

“The horse used to be the biggest troublemaker in Montferdia’s stables before the captain tamed it. I wonder how it’ll handle a two-person saddle.”

“Well, it’s lucky to have met a good owner.”

“If it’s the captain, the horse will do anything. It’ll probably be fine.”

When Shati returned from her errands for the day and headed to the stables with Winden, the knights of the expedition were gathered around Karel’s warhorse, chattering amongst themselves.

“Um, Shati?”

“Miss Shati?”

“You’ve never ridden a horse before, have you?”

“Have you?”

“Have you, Miss?”

The knights, who had casually ordered Shati around before their trip to the Gray Mountains, were now unsure how to treat the captain’s woman, resulting in nothing but awkwardness. Shati, too, found their attention overwhelming and didn’t know how to respond.

“Ah, um… I’ve, uh, never ridden a horse…”

As Shati’s face turned bright red in embarrassment—

“’Miss’ seems appropriate.”

“Ugh, the vice-captain is too stiff.”

“True, calling her by name feels a bit off.”

With Winden’s cool reasoning, the knights smacked their lips but quickly agreed.

This was the first time Shati faced the expedition members properly. The attention directed at her felt unbearably awkward. Was it because her bangs, which had always covered her face, were now cut short? The knights’ glances and their scattered remarks seemed to stick to her face like glue.

In truth, the knights’ gazes were filled with goodwill, trying to make a good impression on the captain’s lover. On this expedition, Shati had restored Karel’s morale, allowing them to return alive. The knights were eager to express their gratitude. Yet, to Shati, their attention felt more like reproach. Burdened by the pressure, she hesitated, her eyes beginning to glisten with faint tears.

“Stop loitering and move aside.”

Suddenly, Karel appeared at the entrance to the yard, his face set in a hard expression. As he stepped forward, Matthew, who had accompanied him, nervously slipped into the group of knights.

“Captain!”

“Finally crawling out, are you?”

“You only show your face when Miss is outside, huh?”

“Look at the craftsmanship on this saddle. Pretty good for a backwater place.”

“Even if it’s small, towns frequented by mercenaries have skilled hands.”

As the knights chattered away, Shati’s eyes sparkled as if she’d found her savior. Despite Karel’s stern, expressionless face showing no sign of softening, Shati greeted him with a bright, relieved smile.

What made her so happy, to shine like that?

The warmth radiating from the woman outside was burdensome for Karel. He was taking her to the royal capital out of his own need, unable to bear nights without her. She was merely leaving her hometown under the pressure of his crude threats. Yet, what was so enjoyable about packing with Winden, bustling around, and receiving such kindness from the knights?

“What is this fuss, ordering people around?”

Karel’s brows furrowed deeply, his irritation evident.

“Someone just needs to ride with her…”

Karel’s voice suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

The knights’ faces twisted in confusion at his strange remark, while Winden’s dark eyes glimmered sternly. Shati’s gaze faltered, tinged with shallow despair.

“Um, Captain.”

“If someone else rides with her, one of them would have to hold the other, wouldn’t they?”

“Are you telling Miss to cling to someone she’s never even spoken to?”

“…”

A few knights managed to joke awkwardly, breaking the silence with strained laughter. Still, Karel’s displeased expression showed no sign of easing. What nonsense had he spouted? He truly disliked how things had turned out. Was he cursed for intimidating Shati so pitifully? His behavior was consistently ridiculous.

With a deep sigh, Karel mounted his warhorse, which had already been saddled by the knights. The horse, accustomed to crossing countless battlefields with its master, seemed startled as Karel sat slightly forward on the saddle, letting out a small snort.

At the sound, Shati, standing at a distance, flinched in surprise.

“Get on.”

“Uh, Your Grace.”

Winden spoke in a businesslike tone as he observed the situation.

“If Miss rides behind you, considering our journey requires riding for ten hours a day, wouldn’t it become dangerous?”

Miss, Miss…

Ever since Karel arrived at the stables, he had been irked by the knights’ overly familiar behavior toward Shati. He couldn’t understand why. Having lived a life where he was revered everywhere except the royal family and Montferdia, he had never needed to ponder others’ emotions or his own feelings toward others deeply. Was it laughable that he was desperate for this insignificant woman, even planning to take her to the royal capital? The knights would have been shocked if they knew, but Karel’s self-loathing made him misinterpret the knights’ friendliness negatively. Without revealing his turbulent thoughts, Karel stared down at Winden for a long moment.

“If she rides behind me, she’d have to hold onto me, wouldn’t she? Even for people like us, that could be exhausting.”

Winden’s explanation continued, but Karel remained silent for an unnaturally long time. The prolonged pause left the knights exchanging uncertain glances.

Shati, for her part, felt utterly miserable, unsure where to place herself. She felt as though her inability to ride a horse had ruined Karel’s mood.

“Hah…”

With a short sigh, Karel shifted backward on the saddle. His sudden movement startled the horse again, but it quickly calmed down. From the moment Winden had first spoken, Karel had realized his mistake. But Winden’s attentiveness toward Shati continued to bother him. The knights’ friendliness toward her was equally irksome. And the thought of Shati struggling during the journey…

‘What a fool.’

Shati’s flushed face and her attempts to compose herself were things Karel thought should only happen after receiving his affection, whether through her lips or body. Thus, he disliked how she blushed at the knights’ teasing jokes or flinched repeatedly. His sharp gaze fell on Shati.

“Are you not getting on?”

“Ah, yes, yes…!”

Shati hurried toward the horse, trying her best to climb up. But… how should she do it? Should she have paid closer attention when the knights mounted earlier?

As she hesitated, unsure of what to do, her hands fidgeting aimlessly—

“Your Grace, shouldn’t you at least offer her your hand?”

“…”

“Miss, take His Grace’s hand.”

H-his hand? 

Shati looked back and forth between Karel and Winden, startled. Winden’s tone was as businesslike as it had been for the past few days, yet his lack of irritation made him seem almost kind.

Winden finally knelt on one knee between her and the horse, clasping his hands together and turning his palms upward.

“Step on my hand first.”

“H-how could I possibly…”

“Take His Grace’s hand and the saddle’s front handle, then step on the stirrup.”

Shati, flustered, glanced at Karel, then at Winden kneeling before her, and finally at the knights. Yet none of them seemed to be mocking her.

Still, how could she step on this knight’s hand…

“Are you getting on or not?”

At that moment, Karel extended his large hand toward Shati. His voice sounded angry, but as she looked at his hand before her, all her nervousness melted away.

It was a hand she had never truly held before. Well, she might have grasped it briefly in bed a few times… but she had never been allowed to hold it first. Especially not outside, in this manner.