Chapter 4: The Trap of Original Sin (3)

“Not seeing Licia for a whole week, I feel like I might cry already.”

Sarahh had been on the verge of tears since morning. Tomorrow morning, the place she wakes up won’t be the monastery, but the Duke of Sossilion mansion.

The anticipation and worry about meeting her father grew as she thought about going to see him. She felt she needed to see with her own eyes how much he had been hurt, and whether his life was truly not in danger, in order to ease her restless mind.

“I’ll only give up seeing Licia for today. Since I’m going to meet my family, I won’t be greedy.”

Perhaps she didn’t want to be left alone in the silent guest room. Sister Sarahh followed me to submit the request for leave. Although I secretly hoped to be invited to the mansion during the leave period, I couldn’t easily bring up the topic due to concerns about my father’s health.

“We might not be able to meet during the leave period, but when I return to the monastery, shall we go out together?”

Sarahh, who had been sitting quietly, finally lifted her head.

“An outing?”

“Two of us holding hands, buying delicious snacks, and enjoying interesting sights together.”

Sarahh’s eyes widened like a rabbit’s. Excitedly, she jumped up from her seat and hugged me like a child.

“Really? Really, Licia!”

With a sunny smile, I gently stroked Sarahh’s head as if she were a child.

“Sarahh, I promise to keep my word!”

“Of course. I really dislike breaking promises.”

I made a promise with Sarahh, intertwining our pinky fingers. Through the entwined fingers, untouched innocence fleeting passed by.

“So, shall we part ways here?”

Breathing in the outside air of the monastery after so long felt like a weight being lifted off my chest.

I waved to Sarahh with a smile as she walked away. After she disappeared from view, I unfolded the old map. To return to the mansion, I would have to walk for half a day.

“So, I should go this way and then turn…”

The creased part of the old map looked like it would tear soon. Although the main roads might have remained unchanged on the very old map, the side streets could have changed a lot. Holding up the map, I looked around.

Fortunately, there were private carriages lined up in front of the shops. I approached the seemingly friendly coachman and handed him the allowance I received from the monastery.

“I’d like to go here, but would this be enough?”

The coachman, who had been examining the map closely, nodded his head.

“Sister, I’m sorry, but with that money, you won’t even be able to afford a horse carriage ride. However, that distance should be walkable in half a day.”

The allowance given by the monastery was only enough for snacks. All the property of the monastery, including the leisure expenses of priests and nuns, was communal. Since there were always mouths to feed and limited funds for purchasing ingredients, I could only be grateful for the small gesture of providing snack money.

“Half a day…”

I folded the map carefully and walked into the bustling marketplace. It was vastly different from the rundown shops on the eastern outskirts.

The shops lined up endlessly, and the streets were packed with pedestrians with no room to spare. Soon enough, I was swallowed up in the noisy hustle and bustle.

Fresh-looking fruits and vegetables, freshly baked bread and cookies!

As I glanced around the marketplace with my shoulders slightly hunched, someone suddenly offered me an apple.

“Saint!”

My heart thudded against my chest at the familiar title.

‘How did they recognize me? How…?’

I placed my hand over my rapidly beating heart. No, they must have mistaken me for a Saint. I tried to deny reality, but my vision was already blurred with a dizzying sensation.

Oh, my legs wouldn’t move. I needed to push forward. But my foolish legs stiffened like rocks.

Too afraid to lift my head, I glanced at the apple beside me. Cold sweat beaded on my forehead and trickled down my nose.

“Here, it’s free for the Saint of the shrine. Please, have a bite.”

It was a tempting, ripe red apple. To be paralyzed with fear over just one apple, I felt pathetic, as if tears were about to fall.

Fear and anger brewed inside me, ready to overflow. Victor, because of you, I’ve become a fool. Just because of the title of Saint and one apple, I tremble in fear, feeling like a coward.

You’ve thoroughly broken me, deep into my bones, through every vein.

“Don’t hesitate, please have a bite. Have you received the Saintly verification?”

Saintly verification…!

I realized they hadn’t recognized me, but merely approached me because of my appearance, with blonde hair and blue eyes. When I didn’t readily accept, they forced the apple into my hand.

“Here, it’s a special product without a single blemish. Did you come for the Saintly verification?”

“…Nuns from the monastery are not subjects of the shrine’s scrutiny.”

I managed to muster the courage to speak, still casting my gaze down like a sinner.

“…Nun?”

As the words fell, they forcefully took back the apple that had been tightly gripped in my hand.

Startled, I lifted my head to find the owner of the fruit shop glaring at me with a menacing expression. It was a piercing gaze, as if looking down on a thief.

“You should have said that sooner. Unfortunately, the apple has a flaw now.”

There was indeed no flaw. It wasn’t even scratched; it had only briefly rested on my hand.

Was this really just an ordinary fruit shop owner? Overwhelmed by approaching anxiety, I hurriedly left the spot.

While hastening my steps, I kept turning my head to scan the crowd. Thankfully, it seemed like no one was following me.

“Saint…!”

“It’s free for the Saint.”

“Saint, Saint! Just taste it and go!”

However, at every pause in my steps, people called out to me as a Saint. It was the last title I wanted to hear. I covered my ears with both hands against the voices echoing from every corner of the marketplace. I squeezed so tightly that the skin around my ears felt taut.

‘I don’t want to hear… I don’t want to hear. It’s not me, it’s not me!’

After running for what felt like ages, I finally managed to escape the bustling marketplace and leaned against a wall to catch my breath. My shoulders ached from being jostled by the crowd as I dashed through.

“I’m not a Saint…”

When I finally regained my composure, I realized that the map I had been clutching tightly in my right hand was nowhere to be seen. Upon belatedly searching inside my nun’s habit, I realized that I had also lost the meager leisure allowance given to me by the monastery. 

All that remained in my palm was a sinful, golden thread pulled loose.

I turned back to look at the distant marketplace. The sound of people’s footsteps made me inexplicably anxious. I knew I needed to quickly backtrack to find the lost items, but I simply didn’t have the courage to go back.

How pathetic, to be scared by such a trivial thing as a mere hawker’s act. I mercilessly pounded my legs that refused to listen, leaving harsh imprints of self-inflicted punishment on my tender skin.

“How pathetic.”

With trembling fingertips, I touched the medallion hanging around the neck of Sister Dorothea.

[I will forever protect our youngest nun.]

Using Sister Dorothea’s voice as a guidepost, I moved forward without hesitation. My father would be waiting, his body racked with illness, and I couldn’t afford to sit idly by and wait.

If I couldn’t muster the courage to return to the marketplace, then I would find another way.

The decision didn’t take long. Amidst the curious gazes around me, I found a familiar sight. How could I forget? The place where the tragedy began. Clenching my teeth, I changed my course.

As expected, carriages from noble families were lined up near the palace.

I scanned each carriage meticulously, searching for the one belonging to my familiar lineage. Eventually, I spotted the familiar flag. It was the carriage of the Viscount of Milleair.

“When will the Viscount of Miller return?”

I asked the coachman earnestly, clasping my hands together.

“…What business does a nun have here? You’ve probably been inside for quite some time; you’ll be out soon.”

“I have a message for the Viscount. May I wait with you?”

“As long as you don’t block the way, sure.”

With the coachman’s permission, I stood closely by the carriage. After waiting for nearly twenty minutes with no certainty, the Viscount of Miller finally returned, just as the coachman had predicted.

“…What is it?”

The Viscount of Miller bluntly asked me, blocking the carriage door.

“Don’t you remember? It’s Alicia.”

“Alicia?”

The Viscountess of Miller was my mother’s sister, my aunt. Although our interactions had been scarce since my mother’s passing, there had still been occasional opportunities for us to meet until a few years ago.

“Would it be possible for me, shamelessly, to ride in the carriage all the way to the mansion?”

As the Viscount glanced at me once again, he seemed to be reminiscing about the blood that had just begun to take its first steps.

“That little girl has grown up unrecognizable.”

Finally, the permission I had eagerly awaited fell from the Viscount’s lips.

“Tell me on the way.”