Chapter 9: The Candle Wax and Resolve (6)

“…I couldn’t understand why he specifically wanted to take the young and beautiful Sister Alicia among all the nuns.”

“Lucio, that’s because I am the only one among the nuns who has been granted the position of lector.”

“By your reasoning, it would make more sense to take a seminarian instead.”

The way he said Father Edwin didn’t look at me as a priest looks at a nun—perhaps he was right. Father Edwin knew about my distant past and might have felt sympathy because of it.

“If Father Edwin is truly innocent, then I will blame my own foolishness for harboring impure suspicions about a virtuous priest. But I wanted to tell you to be careful just in case.”

“Thank you for your concern, Lucio.”

I recalled the words Father Edwin had spoken amidst the falling cherry blossoms a few days ago.

[His gaze really bothers me. If that seminarian makes any advances, don’t hesitate to tell me.]

Father Edwin didn’t look kindly upon Lucio either. Being protected by two m*n would have been quite thrilling if I were an ordinary young lady of a noble family.

“I’m glad you understand my feelings,” Lucio said.

“But I’d prefer if you didn’t worry about me in the future. I can handle my own affairs. I’m not so foolish that I can’t take care of myself.”

However, as a nun, I couldn’t harbor personal feelings. I had pledged to God that I would never love anyone again.

Drawing a clear boundary, Lucio’s expression turned cold, clearly dissatisfied with my response.

“Even if Father Edwin harbors impure intentions toward you?”

“That’s unlikely, but even if he does, it’s my responsibility to handle it.”

“This unpleasant thought persists. Could it be that you see Father Edwin as more than just a priest?”

Do I see Father Edwin as more than just a priest? That was a question I could confidently answer. He is a crucial ally in changing my fate and enacting my revenge.

“There’s no way.”

I answered with a bright smile, my eyes narrowing like a crescent moon. Even if Father Edwin was more than just a priest of the monastery to me, there was no need to explain that to an outsider like Lucio.

***

Edwin’s hands froze as he sorted through the monastery’s storage. He had found an unfinished stuffed doll that Sister Sarah had been making for the bazaar half a year ago.

He couldn’t return an incomplete item to her grieving family, nor could he simply throw it away.

The first person who came to mind was the blonde nun who had wept so bitterly. She had shed tears like pearls, lamenting that she had no proper keepsake.

Edwin stared intently at the piece of cloth lying in his palm. The decision didn’t take long.

“It’s done.”

He brushed his sweat-soaked silver hair back and looked at the cause of his hard work.

It had taken him a week to make a simple palm-sized doll. As a result, his fingertips had been repeatedly pricked by needles, turning them into a honeycomb.

He had sacrificed sleep to finish it, but no matter how he looked at it, the doll still seemed clumsy and unpolished.

“Well, in this case, the effort counts more than the appearance.”

Despite the mismatched eyes, the doll was quite charming. In fact, the uneven eyes added a certain cuteness.

“Whatever happens, happens.”

Edwin stepped out of the room, holding the doll. As he admired the teddy bear in the moonlight, his grip slipped, and the bear tumbled to the floor of the monastery.

Before he could reach for it, someone else swiftly picked up the fallen bear.

“Is it a cat doll?”

The voice was cold and emotionless. Edwin roughly snatched the teddy bear from the man’s hand.

“Judging by your reaction, it must be a gift for Sister Alicia?”

Despite the delicate and seemingly innocent voice, there was a hint of malice. Edwin glared at Lucio, full of suspicion. He truly detested people who were different on the inside than they appeared on the outside.

“What business is it of yours?” Edwin snapped sharply, and Lucio’s lips curled into a bitter smile.

“…Father Edwin, today you were quite obvious. If you intend to keep hiding it, you shouldn’t act so carelessly in the future.”

Obvious? In that instant, Edwin’s eyes widened. A rush of heat surged up his neck, accompanied by a stinging pain.

But he kept his expression unchanged and replied in a calm voice, “I have no idea what you’re talking about… Do you often have such delusions about others?”

“Delusions, how amusing. Father, if you act so conspicuously in front of others, you’ll end up being suspected.”

Lucio’s right eye twitched as he mocked him. Edwin decided it was best to acknowledge it quietly. Lucio’s murky gaze had seen right through him.

“What does it matter to you if I’m suspected or not?”

Edwin bared his teeth, glaring at Lucio, who was a head shorter than him. Lucio’s unblinking, smiling face was infuriating.

“I’m just offering advice because I’m concerned about the discord that could arise in the monastery. I apologize if I offended you, Father.”

Edwin couldn’t fathom what tricks Lucio was planning with his small head. However, if he were to offer advice, it would be that Lucio had picked the wrong person to mess with.

“…Lucio, was it? I hope you can complete your training and return to the seminary safely,” Edwin whispered, patting Lucio’s shoulder.

“…The training period can feel tediously long, can’t it?”

Lucio let out a scoff, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Edwin knew he could easily put Lucio in his place with a single word, but he didn’t want to waste unnecessary energy.

If he wanted to avoid confrontation, he had to leave first. Edwin walked down the monastery’s corridor with steady steps.

Before long, he spotted her leaning against the railing on the second floor, lost in thought. Before he could call her name, her clear blue eyes, reminiscent of the night waves, were already watching him.

“Father Edwin.”

“What brings you outside?”

“I felt a tightness in my chest and wanted to get some fresh air.”

Her face, incongruous with her youthful appearance, held a melancholy expression. What thoughts could she be so deeply engrossed in alone?

Edwin handed her the bear he had clumsily finished. He felt embarrassed by his crude handiwork.

“What is this?” she asked.

“You can see for yourself,” he replied.

Alicia examined the bear from various angles before finally coming to a conclusion.

“…A wildcat doll?”

“How can you say it’s a wildcat? Look closely. Isn’t it obviously a bear?”

Despite Edwin’s indignation, she chuckled for a long time, finding the situation amusing.

“But why a bear doll?” she inquired.

“It’s a doll Sister Sarah started making. I just finished it.”

“A doll touched by Sarah’s hands.”

Alicia held the bear tenderly, a radiant smile spreading across her face. Despite her gentle smile, her eyes were moist, as if tears were about to fall.

“Thank you so much, Father.”

Edwin watched the golden threads of her hair flutter in the spring breeze. The frail nun bore a fate too harsh to carry alone.

At that moment, when her blue eyes, accustomed to suppressing emotions, met his gaze, Edwin felt his pulse quicken to the point of breathlessness.

His chest felt heavy, as if something were lodged inside. He slowly raised his hand to his chest.

Yes, it was time to admit it. The feeling that made him feel exposed with just a glance—a secret, impure emotion.

[Volume 1 Completed]

[Stay tuned for Volume 2]

I bite down hard, chewing relentlessly.

The overflowing, succulent flavor tingles on the tip of my tongue, and clear fluid trickles down the edges of my mouth.

The creature, engrossed in devouring the forbidden fruit, raised its head towards the sky.

Almighty God, I dare to ask,

If this was a fruit not meant to be tasted, why is it so enticing and sweet?