Chapter 14: Confessions and Lies(1)

The season of intense heat arrived, leaving everyone feeling completely drained. On such days, sitting in a cool shade and eating summer fruits full of moisture was ideal. However, the busy life of the monastery had neither cool shade nor refreshing summer fruits.

“…It’s clear that the gods are angry and are roasting the entire empire in a fiery furnace.”

I muttered while sitting on a bench bathed in the scorching sunlight. Edwin, worn out by the heat, appeared even more irritable than usual. From within his robes, he pulled out a letter with rough hands.

“What is this?”

“You’ll find out if you look.”

The letter he held had the seal of Count Neberton. It was obvious without even looking— it was undoubtedly a letter from Jaylon.

“Don’t mind me; just read it quickly.”

It was hard to tell whether the deep frown lines on his forehead were due to the hot weather or the letter from Jaylon. Carefully, I broke the seal and took out the letter. The faint scent of Jaylon lingered on the stationery.

‘Licia, how have you been? I miss you even more since we don’t see each other often. By the way, if you have some free time, would you like to see a play at the theater we visited before? We can also grab some cool summer snacks and catch up. Please reply if you can go out.’

Enduring Edwin’s sharp gaze while reading the letter to the end was quite a challenge.

“It wasn’t much. Just a trivial check-in.”

“…There’s no need to report the contents of the letter in detail.”

“I thought you might be curious.”

“No, not at all.”

He had stared at the letter with such intensity as if he was going to pierce through the paper. And now he pretends it’s nothing. The sharpness in Edwin’s eyes softened a bit at the mention that it was just trivial.

“It was just an invitation to see a play together. It should be fine around dinner time.”

It wouldn’t be bad to take a short break from the busy monastery routine for an outing.

“…That’s what you call trivial?”

Edwin’s eyes, previously calm, turned as fierce as a predator with its prey in sight.

“Jaylon and I are like siblings. We’ve been together since we were young.”

“I’m worried he might think something strange. I don’t want to be disliked by him.”

“I’m not planning to scold you. If that’s how it is for you, then so be it. Just make sure you fill out the outing form properly.”

He surprisingly responded obediently, but his face, when glanced at, still looked stern.

“It’s been a while since you’ve been so busy, so taking a break once in a while isn’t a bad idea.”

“Thank you for allowing it.”

Even though Edwin’s cold gaze seemed like it would pierce through my cheeks, I decided not to let it bother me. The thought of seeing the enthusiastic acting of a third-rate theater troupe already made my heart race.

* * *

“…Licia, I don’t understand what’s going on right now.”

Jaylon glared with an annoyed expression over his shoulder. It was thanks to the wild lynx clinging to his back.

“The more people, the more fun it is, right?”

I tried to sound casual, but my forehead was slick with cold sweat. I never expected Edwin to come along. A dark shadow fell under Jaylon’s eyes.

“…I wanted to be alone with you today.”

Jaylon’s bitter remark made Edwin snort.

“Anyone would think I’m an intruder. I just came out for a moment because I ran out of paper and ink.”

“In that case, you can come with us to the shopping district. Jaylon, is that okay?”

Jaylon sighed deeply. He glanced back at Edwin and then turned his gaze away.

“…Alright. Let’s go quickly.”

Jaylon naturally extended his hand. Since Jaylon’s younger sister had been clumsy with walking and often tripped, it was nice to see them walking side by side, holding hands to keep her from falling.

After his sister died, Jaylon’s hand had been mine. Though I wasn’t clumsy or prone to falling.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you going to hold my hand?”

I couldn’t refuse the hand extended out of habit. As I carefully placed my hand in his, a faint smile appeared on Jaylon’s lips.

“This play is supposed to be a poignant love story.”

“…You’re not going to show me another play like last time, are you?”

“This time, I’ve even done a preliminary visit, so don’t worry.”

We walked side by side, chatting. It was a familiar feeling that I hadn’t experienced in a long time. When I was with him, it felt like coming home.

When I glanced up at Jaylon, he looked down at me with a bright smile.

“Licia, do you have something to say?”

“No, it’s just… It feels like it’s been a while since we walked side by side.”

It felt like I had returned to being just a noble lady of the Duke’s family, unaware of anything else. The terrible memories of abuse and the name of the crown prince I had cried out for were slowly fading away.

This was a time when I could exist purely as ‘Alicia Sossilion.’

My steps came to a sudden halt. Looking back, I saw Edwin, standing alone amidst the crowd.

“Father Edwin, the stationery store is still quite a way ahead. Please hurry up.”

When I waved to him, he slowly began to move his feet. It seemed Jaylon was impatient with waiting for Edwin, as he kept urging us to hurry.

Soon, we arrived in front of the stationery store. Edwin picked up the cheapest ink and paper.

The cheap ink was prone to smudging, and the paper was rough and coarse. It was an unavoidable choice due to the severe lack of funding at the monastery.

“…No wonder the quality of the stationery you sent was poor.”

Jaylon clicked his tongue upon seeing the cheap paper Edwin was holding. Although the ink and pen I used were gifts from my father, the paper was the common type used at the monastery.

“Jaylon, we have a set budget, so we can’t buy expensive paper like what’s used at the Duke’s house.”

“Why are you getting upset? I was just speaking the truth.”

With a short sigh, Jaylon spoke as if offering a concession.

“…Alright, I’ll apologize. So, cheer up. As a token of apology, I want to gift you the best ink and paper from here. I’ll buy enough for everyone at the monastery to use.”

Jaylon’s golden eyes were being scrutinized. I was nervous, afraid of a potential confrontation in the middle of the marketplace.

“Father Edwin, I hope you’re not feeling offended. It’s not that I’m disregarding you; I just want to support practically.”

As Jaylon continued in a sarcastic tone, Edwin’s tightly sealed lips curved upward.

“I would appreciate it if you could support us regularly, not just this time. If you fill out a sponsorship application and send it to the monastery, I would be very grateful.”

His tone was calm, devoid of any emotional turbulence. Jaylon lifted one corner of his mouth in response to Edwin’s words.

“…The sponsorship funds will be used for the welfare of protected children and refugees.”

He willingly bowed his head for the sake of the monastery’s members. I looked at his lowered eyelashes.

I wished he had at least spoken up with some pride. Seeing him bow his head in silence was disheartening.

“Licia, since Father Edwin is saying this, what do you think? If you’re okay with it, we could send sponsorship funds monthly.”

Jaylon regarded Father Edwin with a self-satisfied look. I wanted to tell him not to be so patronizing.

The monks at the monastery lived each day with intense dedication. They were not to be belittled or pitied.

“…If you do that, we’ll be able to provide quality food for the growing children. Thank you, Jaylon.”

I bit my lower lip and continued speaking with difficulty. I didn’t want to make Father Edwin’s efforts in vain.

“It’s only natural between you and me. There’s no need to thank me.”

As Jaylon chose the ink and paper, I approached Father Edwin, who had been standing at a distance.

When I quietly held the end of his sleeve, his golden eyes, filled with warmth, looked down at me.

“Thanks to this, the children won’t go hungry for a while.”

I had always thought of him as a stubborn and proud man. I never imagined he would bow his head without a moment’s hesitation for the sake of the monastery’s members.

I wanted to firmly grasp his right hand, which was weakly dangling beneath his sleeve. The aftereffects of the plague still left a slight tremor in his fingertips.

“Licia, we’ve got the paper and ink sorted, so shall we head to the theater now?” 

Jaylon wagged his tail like a large dog that had fetched a ball.

“Father, I’ll send the sponsorship application to the monastery later, so please head back now.”

Jaylon waved dismissively at Father Edwin with an air of subtle disdain.

“Why are you still here? Please head back to the monastery. Oh, and just in case, is there anything else you need besides the ink and paper?”

A sneer briefly appeared on Jaylon’s lips. Without hesitation, he took out his wallet and handed over two gold coins.

“Is that enough? It should be more than sufficient.”

Even after receiving the two gold coins, Father Edwin did not leave. Jaylon clicked his tongue and flicked another gold coin toward him.

“Licia, let’s go. If we delay any longer, we’ll be late for the play.”

“But Father Edwin—”

“That’s enough. Let’s go.”

Jaylon naturally wrapped his arm around my shoulder and turned away. I glanced back at Father Edwin, who was holding three gold coins and watching me.

“…I think I should see that play too.”

At that moment, Father Edwin’s chin, which I had thought would droop in resignation, was lifted defiantly.

Jaylon’s mouth went dry as he turned to face Edwin.

“Did I just hear that correctly?”

“No, you heard it right.”

Father Edwin roughly pulled me closer with his left arm. Then, in a show of defiance, he flicked the gold coins towards Jaylon and spoke.

“It’s impossible to be at ease when a nun is with an outsider. As a priest of the monastery, I will accompany you for protection.”