Thud. Then came the sound of the door closing. The dim light faintly illuminated Jürgen’s face as he approached. Looking up at him as he stood in front of the bed, Diez unconsciously clutched the blanket tightly with both hands.

‘The smell of alcohol.’

Even in the darkness, she could tell that Jürgen was drunk. Not only was the unfamiliar scent of brandy present, but the atmosphere around him was different from usual.

A somewhat unfamiliar gaze was looking down at Diez. Why has he come to see me in the dead of night? She wanted to ask something, but it was frustrating that her voice wouldn’t come out easily.

Jürgen, who had maintained silence throughout, picked up a clean wet towel that had been placed on the table and wiped Diez’s forehead. The cool sensation of the wet towel against her feverish forehead felt good.

Of course, her confusion still hadn’t subsided.

‘He’s always been so curt with me.’

Everything was different from the usual Jürgen. His gaze, the atmosphere, and even his attitude toward her.

She recalled what an old maid had once said about all men becoming dangerous when drunk. Didn’t they say men use drunkenness as an excuse to freely indulge in the mischief they couldn’t do when sober?

But the intoxicated Jürgen didn’t look dangerous to her at all. Rather, he seemed……

“Are you in much pain.”

His voice, which had always been low and deep, had sunk to a husky tone. Faced with this uncharacteristic question, Diez hesitated for a moment. What answer should she give? Normally, she would have said she was fine, but……

Somehow, she felt that just this once, telling the truth wouldn’t be a problem.

Was it because the intimidating presence of the man who was both the head of the Klaus ducal family and her creditor had disappeared?

“My head hurts a little, I think.”

Jürgen’s hand, which had been wiping her forehead, paused very briefly.

“Didn’t the doctor prescribe medicine for you.”

“I think the medicine has worn off. I took one pill before going to sleep……”

“Where’s the medicine.”

He found a headache pill in the medicine packet that had been placed nearby. He approached Diez with a pill he had taken out and a cup of water.

Diez, who had barely managed to sit up, took the cup from him. Instead of handing her the pill along with it, Jürgen sat at the bedside and leaned toward her.

The small pill lightly pressed against her lips, demanding to be swallowed. Diez silently opened her mouth and took the pill he gave her.

Jürgen watched intently as she swallowed the pill with water. As her throat moved with a gulp, he secretly furrowed his brow and looked away.

Now that she had taken medicine again, she should feel a little better. Thinking this, Diez whispered while holding the cup with both hands,

“Thank you, Your Grace.”

“……Give me the cup.”

After returning the empty cup to the table, he laid Diez back down on the bed. His touch guiding her was gentle and careful.

Almost affectionate……

“Your fever.”

“I think it’s going down little by little.”

“Will you be able to sleep more?”

Diez nodded slightly. The medicine seemed to be taking effect already, as her headache was subsiding and she was feeling drowsy. Meanwhile, Jürgen, who had been sitting at her bedside looking down at her, seemed to be agonizing over something before making a move to leave.

“Then I won’t disturb you any further. Please rest.”

“Your Grace.”

Grabbing Jürgen as he was about to get up was purely impulsive. With his sleeve caught, he froze halfway and fixed her with a surprised gaze.

“Have you…… been having troubles lately?”

As Diez asked this, she imagined how Jürgen might react. Would he scold her, saying it was none of her business and that she was asking unnecessary questions?

He seemed at a loss for words for a moment. Then, lowering his gaze, he answered,

“Why are you asking such a thing.”

“You look troubled. Even now…… Of course, I know I might be overstepping my bounds, but I’m concerned about you.”

“……What’s wrong with you?”

Suddenly, his voice became forceful. It was exactly the tone he used when he usually scolded Diez.

“You’re suffering from a terrible cold, yet you’re worried about others?”

“……”

“I’m the one who made you sick.”

“It wasn’t on purpose.”

“This is ridiculous. You should be resenting and cursing me.”

Jürgen, who had snapped without meaning to, immediately regretted it. He was in no position to reprimand Diez. As he himself had just said, wasn’t it Jürgen who deserved the harsh words?

He recalled the past days when he had deliberately been cold to her, trying to suppress his feelings for her. The past that had already gone by couldn’t be fixed.

What right do I have?

With what face did I repeatedly criticize and blame her?

“I’m sorry.”

He apologized belatedly.

“I didn’t mean to be angry with you.”

“……”

“I don’t understand myself either. Why I came to see you while you were resting well, only to be cruel. What am I even doing here?”

As he had been doing recently, he had been drinking brandy until late at night. In the midst of that, he suddenly thought of Diez. The blonde woman who was suffering after going out to find him in the forest during a downpour.

Visiting her in her new bedroom was purely impulsive. There was no plausible reason or necessity for it.

It was unlike him.

He had lived a life keeping distance from impulses. When did I change so much?

Jürgen deliberately avoided meeting the eyes of the woman before him, who was the answer to all his questions. He couldn’t bring himself to look directly at Diez. At least, not now.

If anyone should be angry, it should be you, not me.

Everything was a mess.

“I don’t have the face to look at you.”

Sitting beside Diez with his gaze lowered, he continued speaking softly. His face was hidden in darkness and difficult to see. Perhaps because he was drunk, he looked quite different from the Jürgen that Diez knew.

Maybe that was why. Why it was even harder to read Jürgen’s expression.

Unable to say anything, Diez silently waited for him to continue.

“You asked if something bad had happened to me.”

“……”

“You wouldn’t know. How I’m feeling right now. I’ve never been so confused in my life. At least I thought I knew myself well.”

Of course, Diez had no way of knowing what had made him like this. It had been a very long time since they had spoken one-on-one like this.

What mattered was that Jürgen was opening up about himself for the first time.

She wanted to hear his story. Even if she couldn’t offer even the tiniest bit of help……

“Even now, it’s the same.”

The dim light illuminated his gloomy profile.

“How I should treat you…… I don’t know.”

As he said this, Jürgen suddenly burst into self-deprecating laughter.

“I don’t even know why I came to see you with such thoughts. It’s not even funny. Barging in suddenly and making meaningless confessions.”

“……Can you tell me what happened to you?”

“If I told you what I’ve been going through.”

His gaze, which had been fixed on the floor as if trying to avoid something, met Diez’s eyes again.

“You would want to kill me.”

“……”

At the speechless Diez, he asked,

“Miss Schleicher.”

“……Yes, Your Grace.”

“Do you hate me?”

He acted as if he already knew what answer would come. Behind his composure that seemed like it could shatter at any moment, she could see his true feelings, like a prisoner awaiting execution after committing a terrible crime. He was afraid.

It was a side of him Diez couldn’t easily understand.

What could you possibly be afraid of? Especially in front of me.

He was the head of the prestigious Klaus ducal family. Why would such a man hesitate before a woman who had fallen to the status of a despised rag?

“No matter what I answer, would it matter? I’m just……”

Just a filthy existence. Just as you said before. Finding it difficult to say such words aloud, Diez bit her lip.

Then suddenly, a desire she had forgotten for a long time hit her like a wave. To tell her story. To honestly express how she felt about him and what she wanted.

For the past five years since being brought to the Klaus mansion, Diez had to live like a mute doll. A doll that simply smiled prettily and obeyed her master’s words.

She felt certain that Jürgen wouldn’t retaliate even if she revealed her true feelings. Perhaps that was why. Diez opened her mouth, overwhelmed by the feeling that she couldn’t bear it if she didn’t say something.

“There were times when I hated you. I never expected you to be kind to me, but you often said hurtful things to me. I, I didn’t do anything wrong. All I did was try to survive my miserable life as best I could.”

“……”

“I hated you, but…… I also didn’t hate you. At least you never hit me. You gave me good meals, and even called a doctor when I was sick……”

“I simply treated you as a human being.”

“I was never treated as an equal human in this mansion. At least not until you came. Of course, I never forgot that I was a person, and I knew that as a person, I deserved such treatment…… But I had to live as if I’d forgotten. Because I was a woman who had been sold. Because living that way was better than dying.”

Jürgen didn’t answer. He seemed somehow troubled. It was an expression she was familiar with on him.

Come to think of it, he always had that look on his face whenever he saw Diez.

“Why did you treat me differently from the late Duke?”