But what tormented Jürgen even more was the fact that the desire he had struggled to suppress was beginning to resurface. Had the absence of watching eyes made him lax? Though he hated himself to the point of madness, his lower half had already become hard and swollen.

Jürgen fled to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth, fighting the urge to retch. He wanted to vomit something out. If only he could purge all the filthy impurities inside him.

Despite the nausea, he couldn’t resist unbuckling his pants. Even as he vigorously stroked his exposed c*ck, Jürgen couldn’t stop the dry heaving. The unbearable lust and self-loathing mixed together, plunging him into an endless abyss.

I shouldn’t have started this.

He should have just left it alone. She would have eventually noticed the wound on her own.

He had momentarily forgotten what kind of person he was. That mistake had pushed Jürgen into a hateful quagmire.

Despite desperately trying to erase Diez from his mind, his rigid er*ction showed no signs of subsiding. Even as he gasped with pleasure, he felt suffocated and miserable.

You filthy bastard.

Knowing that Diez is depending on you, you’re getting aroused by her again.

In the end, he was no different from his father. A dirty, obscene pervert who would leave marks on white skin and stroke his c*ck while watching droplets of blood form.

Yet he had acted like a virtuous man in the garden.

It seemed time to accept the truth. He needed to acknowledge and accept that he could never go back to how things were before.

What was the point of denying it? He knew that his father’s words had come true.

Pretending to be clean, pretending to be different from his father—it would only make him a disgusting and foolish hypocrite.

He couldn’t do it anymore.

How long could he deceive Diez? Probably not for long. She wasn’t a stupid woman. Eventually, she too would realize.

When she learns the truth, she’ll hate me.

Perhaps that would be the right thing. Diez was a woman who needed to leave his side anyway. For his sake and for hers, the two of them needed to be permanently separated into different worlds.

If you knew that I stroked myself thinking of you, even imagined leaving whip marks on your back…

You would never want to see my face again.

Shouldn’t he stop deceiving her starting now? If he revealed what kind of person Jürgen truly was, and that she had trusted and depended on such a man, Diez would want to leave the mansion immediately.

Perhaps that would be the better choice for both of them, thought Jürgen, half out of his mind.

* * *

The servants’ attitude toward Diez became more careful than ever before. Even when she was called the Little Lady of Lehart, she had never been treated this way. While it was good that the servants respected her, Diez didn’t feel entirely comfortable.

She could clearly read the fear in their eyes and demeanor.

‘Was he really angry because of me?’

She didn’t think it was something to be angry about. It’s natural to get wounds on your heels when wearing stiff shoes after a long time. No one had deliberately plotted to hurt Diez; this was truly just an injury from trying on different shoes multiple times.

But the expression Jürgen showed while Diez sat on the sofa was incredibly dark, even to her eyes. She had to bite her lips to avoid showing any signs of pain, conscious of his presence.

Come to think of it, whenever Jürgen was on edge, Diez was always the cause.

Am I someone who only makes the Duke angry?

She kept thinking about Jürgen’s back as he walked away with cold steps, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her anymore.

‘He even made such an offer for my sake.’

He had said he would establish a position for her so she could live well even after leaving the Duke’s mansion. Despite her having nothing to offer him in return, his determination was firm.

How long had it been since the maids who tidied the bedsheets had left? Diez, who had been pacing around the large bedroom, now lay on the bed in her nightgown, staring at the half-darkened wall.

Once she closed her eyes, morning would come before she knew it.

The Duke would also return to his usual self as if nothing had happened.

But she didn’t think she could sleep peacefully. What if Jürgen had some misunderstanding about her injury?

Above all, it seemed irresponsible to go to sleep while ignoring the fact that she had hurt Jürgen’s feelings. At least, that’s what Diez thought.

Eventually, after tossing and turning several times, Diez got up again. She put on only a thin silk robe over her white nightgown and carefully left her bedroom.

She remembered the direction to Jürgen’s bedroom. Although she had lived in the Klaus ducal residence for five years, the mansion was so vast that there were only a few routes she knew for certain.

‘Before the Duke arrived, I wasn’t even allowed to leave my room freely.’

The corridor was illuminated only by moonlight filtering through the windows and the soft glow from wall lamps. Perhaps because everyone was asleep, only Diez’s footsteps echoed calmly through the quiet corridor.

Jürgen’s door was, of course, firmly closed. Standing in front of it, Diez hesitated for a moment. Is he already asleep? What if I wake him up?

“……Your Grace.”

She carefully called for Jürgen. Knock, knock, she tapped on the door, but there was no response. He must be sleeping. Just as she thought this and was about to turn away—

An ominous sound came through the door crack. Though very small and faint, it was enough to stop Diez from leaving.

All her senses heightened. Standing closer to the door again, Diez listened to the sound coming from inside.

It was unmistakably a man’s groan.

Has something happened to him?

The certainty that something was wrong overwhelmed her. Knowing it was incredibly rude, Diez flung open Jürgen’s bedroom door and looked inside.

The moment she opened the door, the strong smell of alcohol hit her. The first thing she noticed was a bottle of liquor rolling around haphazardly on the floor. Feeling a sense of foreboding, Diez’s gaze darted around searching for Jürgen. Where is the Duke? Was it because the room was dark? She couldn’t immediately spot him.

As it turned out, Jürgen was in the place where the shadows fell most heavily, sprawled on a sofa in the corner with his eyes closed. For a very brief moment, she thought:

Could this be someone other than the Duke?

He looked like a completely different man from the Jürgen that Diez knew. It was an appearance he had never shown in front of her. The Duke who always seemed to occupy the highest position and stand proudly was not here.

There was only a man suffering from intoxication.

“Your Grace!”

Diez quickly approached him. Despite her urgent call, Jürgen not only failed to respond but couldn’t even properly hold his head up.

Confusing emotions swallowed her whole. It felt like she was dealing with a completely different person, making it difficult to know what to do.

This isn’t the Duke I knew.

For a moment, Jürgen painfully furrowed his brow. Diez, coming to her senses, addressed him again.

“Your Grace, are you in pain?”

“……Mmm.”

“Why did you drink so much? Are you alright? Can you come to your senses?”

Then, Jürgen’s eyes slowly opened. The moment their gazes met with those blue eyes now familiar to Diez, she was seized by an inexplicable sense of relief.

“……Diez.”

“Yes, Your Grace. It’s me.”

Fortunately, his condition didn’t seem critical. Diez answered earnestly, not even noticing that he had called her by name.

It was difficult to read his expression because of the shadows. Jürgen, who had been quietly staring at Diez, muttered to himself.

“……Is this a dream? It must be a dream.”

He raised one hand and caressed Diez’s cheek. It was a careful touch, like he’s handling something precious.

“You’ve always appeared in my dreams. I want to stop dreaming about you now…… but that’s not something I can control.”

“Your Grace.”

“Come closer.”

He spoke in a small voice, almost like a whisper. The atmosphere around Jürgen felt unusual. He had never spoken to Diez in this manner before.

The brief familiarity that had flashed across his face disappeared, replaced by a strangeness that made her feel as though she was facing a stranger again, freezing her in place.

Could it be because he’s drunk?

Can alcohol make someone look this different?

Instead of urging the motionless Diez, he rose up himself. Trapped under Jürgen’s body, Diez was momentarily overwhelmed by the sensation that she couldn’t breathe.

Soon, Jürgen roughly rubbed his lips against the area around her neck. One hand pressed down on her firmly.

“Y-Your Grace.”

He didn’t answer. She felt something hot and unfamiliar touching her through the thin fabric of her undergarments. Though she lacked experience with men, Diez was no longer an innocent girl. She couldn’t fail to recognize that what was pressing against her thigh was clearly a man’s er*ect c*ck.

Though she should have screamed, no voice came out. It seemed almost impossible to escape from under the man who had firmly trapped her. Realizing that even trying to use her arms was meaningless, Diez burst into tears from a sense of helplessness that felt like sinking into the ground.

“Your Grace, please stop……”