Chapter 63

I bit my lip and lowered my gaze. Julian’s lips came into view, and I hurriedly bowed my head further. We had shared gentle kisses on each other’s hands or cheeks before. But that could quickly be done under the guise of ‘family.’

What could Julian be thinking right now? Summoning my courage, I lifted my head. I saw a blend of confusion and a more intimate desire in his crimson eyes. Seeing that look sent a sharp jolt through my fingertips as if struck by lightning.

Over Julian’s shoulder, I saw Anna quietly retreating, sneaking out of the tent.

Why are you doing this, too? Don’t leave!

I shouted with all my might through my eyes, but Anna pretended not to notice and disappeared instantly.

I creaked as if the gears inside me were broken. It wasn’t unusual for Julian and me to be alone together. But ever since this hunting competition, the atmosphere became strangely charged whenever we were alone.

“Duchess.”

“Y-Yes?“

“Don’t be so tense. Nothing’s going to happen.”

When I met Julian’s eyes again, the desire from earlier was gone. His gaze was as usual—stoic, heavy, yet kind.

“Haha, I wasn’t thinking about anything!”

I laughed awkwardly and straightened my posture. Considering how handsome and charming Julian was, It was hard not to think about anything. Honestly, I couldn’t count how many times I’d been surprised that Princess Abigail wasn’t the only woman in society desperate to marry him.

After adjusting Julian’s mask properly, I stepped back again. There was an awkward tension between us. We weren’t children anymore; we could grasp what had just happened.

I fidgeted with my hair and averted my eyes. Come to think of it… has Julian ever been intimate with someone? Since he avoids people, probably not, right? Julian stood up as I kept glancing at him, unsure of what to do.

“If it’s uncomfortable being together, I’ll leave.”

“N-No, it’s not.”

Anna was likely waiting outside, leaving to give the married couple privacy. If Julian left so soon, she would probably be flustered, too.

More than that, I didn’t want Julian to leave yet. Was I feeling regret? But we were family and friends… My head spun from overthinking.

While I fiddled with the pillow, I heard a rustling sound. When I slipped my hand under the pillow, I found a note I had received and hidden not long ago.

“Oh.”

As I lifted the white note, Julian’s gaze followed my hand. I thought this was the perfect object to break the awkward mood. Julian seemed relieved, too, as he immediately asked,

“What is that?“

“Could you hold the candlestick for me?”

Julian brought the candlestick close to me, as I had asked. I hurriedly moved the note toward the candle flame but then stopped.

I had decided not to keep too many secrets from Julian. Even if I couldn’t tell him everything, I would share what I could.

So, showing him Ari Eriant’s note wasn’t tricky. However, this note was directed toward Princess Abigail.

Julian had a connection with Princess Abigail. Although their relationship had grown distant because of me, they had unknowingly built trust since childhood.

“Julian, do you trust me?”

Julian responded with a playful smile.

“Well, expecting me to trust you after just one instance is asking a lot.”

His relaxed attitude was likely because he didn’t know what the note contained. I awkwardly smiled along and added,

“I’d like you to trust me.”

With those words, I brought the note closer to the flame. The contents I had seen before were revealed once more.

It detailed a plot during the hunting competition and how Prince Cain was being persuaded as part of it. Although that wasn’t the most crucial part of the letter.

“…Please, Your Highness, take care of yourself.”

The fire flickered in Julian’s eyes when the flame reached the last sentence. He took the note from me and began reading it from the beginning. Watching him, I sensed that this wouldn’t be easy.

The warm atmosphere that had gently floated between us vanished in an instant. I regretted showing Julian the note.

After reading it three times, Julian asked in a low voice,

“How did you get this?“

“Lady Sasha’s former maid retrieved it for me.“

“…Not the most reliable source, then.”

Julian folded the note after speaking. Then, without warning, he tucked it inside his cloak. Though his action was sudden, I didn’t stop him.

After all, I knew that the note alone wasn’t enough to serve as evidence. Julian looked directly at me and said, almost as if explaining himself,

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Duchess.“

“I know.”

I responded, but even I could hear the sharpness in my voice. Julian brushed his forehead and said,

“Abi… I know how the princess treated you.“

“Do you think I’m doing this out of spite for the princess?“

“Absolutely not,“ Julian answered firmly.

“What I mean is, I know it must upset you that I’m defending the princess.“

“So, you’re going to defend her.“

“…I just want to talk about the princess as I’ve observed her.”

I took a step back from him. This wasn’t the kind of conversation that should be had so closely. I couldn’t tell if I wanted to hear what he had to say.

Why did I even bring this up with Julian in the first place? Had I completely forgotten that he had his own personal relationships? Why did I assume he would abandon the princess and side with me entirely?

Julian, seeing my expression, sighed and said,

“Maybe I shouldn’t say anything.“

“Why not? Go ahead.”

I immediately regretted my sharp tone. I raised my hand toward Julian, taking a moment to compose myself, and then quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry. I got a little too worked up.“

“It’s alright. There’s no need to apologize.”

Was it because I was feeling rushed? Even Julian seemed hurried. I swallowed hard and decided to be honest about my emotions.

“Honestly, it hurts that you’re defending the princess.“

“I understand.“

“…I know in my head that the princess you’ve known might not be the same as the one I’ve experienced.”

I repeatedly tossed my hair back, only to let it fall over my shoulders again. I couldn’t stop fiddling with the ends of my hair with my fingers, either.

I never realized how restless and childish I could be. Fine, I would accept even this childish part of myself with humility.

“If this note is true, the princess is no different from someone who tried to kill me.“

“…If that’s the case.”

Julian closed his eyes and fell silent, lost in thought. It didn’t last long, but it felt like an eternity to me. When Julian finally spoke, I suddenly wanted to cover his mouth.

“I won’t forgive whoever it is.”

However, I felt a little calmer as soon as I heard Julian’s answer. The childish feelings within me hadn’t entirely disappeared. Was it because Julian was treating me like a child? I did my best to gather my emotions and spoke as calmly as I could.

“I’ll listen to what you have to say.“

“…I don’t want to say anything that might upset you.“

“I want to hear it.”

Julian genuinely didn’t seem to want to talk. But he eventually opened his mouth when I stared at him intently, silently urging him on. His furrowed brow showed how troubled he was, but there was also a hint of nostalgia for some past times.

“The princess, besides my mother, was the first person to accept my face behind the mask.“

The world called Julian a monster. He was shunned by society simply because his body was made of stone. There were even rumors that he devoured people.

Julian was so skilled at hiding his emotions that it had become second nature. But had it been the same for him as a young boy?

It must have been difficult. And if Abigail had appeared before him, then if she had accepted his unmasked face without hesitation…

“I don’t want to believe the princess is someone who could kill.”

It wasn’t unreasonable to think that way. In fact, it might be the only right thing to consider.

My reason and emotions were like oil and water, refusing to mix. Part of me wanted to nod and comfort him, telling him it was understandable. But another part of me wanted to push him away and shout, “I almost died because of her!“

“Give me a little time. I’ll look into this matter carefully, and if the princess is even remotely involved, I’ll formally protest to the royal family.”

Julian was trying. I nodded weakly. As I reacted, Julian let out a short sigh.

“Have I disappointed you?“

“No. I’m disappointed in myself.“

“… You’ve done nothing wrong.”

I shook my head. When I looked at him with tired eyes, the concern on Julian’s face was evident. I fidgeted with my hands resting on my lap before finally speaking.

“Maybe I’m expecting too much from you without offering anything in return.“

“That’s not true.“

“No. I’m right.”

I spoke firmly, then hesitated. I had a feeling that I would regret saying this within a day. But right now, I needed to say it.

“Maybe we should distance ourselves for a while.“

TL NOTE: A more advanced chapter of this story is already up on the site. Visit dusk blossoms for more advanced chapters and stories.