Vol 2

Chapter 8 Part 1

Taking the palace entry permit with the extended deadline in hand, I boarded the carriage. I was overwhelmed by the thought of having to convince the difficult Canerva Gray, and while I had planned to review the documents on my way home, a more pressing concern arose, pushing the paperwork aside.

The image of Harten’s face, smiling so sadly, wouldn’t leave my mind. In my memories, he always wore a cold or indifferent expression. Perhaps because he spent the most time with me, his face would soften slightly when he looked at me, but I had never seen him smile like he had today—like he had been hurt.

My words had hurt him. I had wrapped it in the excuse of doing it for his sake, but every time I thought of him, the guilt that resurfaced pricked at the small shred of conscience I had left. Just recalling the bitter smile on his face made my heart heavy, like a stone had been placed on it. Unable to shake his thoughts, I closed my eyes with a sigh.

“Rosie, go to bed early tonight.”

“Ah… I’ll go to bed as soon as I finish the documents.”

“Alright. Don’t you have something to tell me today?”

I shook my head with a short sigh. The letter was in the envelope for the contract, which was supposed to be delivered to Canerva Gray. However, there was no time to take out the contract, as the conversation had gone awry during the negotiation stage. Furthermore, when I was talking to Harten, I was so distracted by his expression that I forgot about the letter entirely. 

It wasn’t until I got home that I noticed the letter and cursed my own foolishness, but by then, I had already left the palace, so there was nothing I could do. The only thing that was fortunate was that I was going to meet Canerva Gray again tomorrow, so there was still a chance.

“Alright, then I’ll head in first.”

“Goodnight.”

Once my father and mother finished their meal and left the room, I was left alone in the dining hall. Even though I had no appetite, eating absentmindedly, I eventually stood up from my seat.

“Miss, if you don’t go to bed early again today, my lady said she’ll come in person to make sure you sleep.”

“I know. She said the same thing yesterday.”

I hadn’t forgotten the words she had muttered when she saw me clinging to the paperwork late into the night, even though I had to get up early the next day.

“She said, ‘How about going to sleep before I have to put your eyes to rest myself?'”—exactly like that.

“Ah, that’s right, miss!”

Looking at Garnet’s bright, cheerful face, the tiny bit of dissatisfaction I had started to feel melted away. I smiled helplessly and shook my head. Trying to find new conditions to convince Canerva Gray would require me staying up all night, yet the entire household was desperate to get me to sleep.

“This is the busiest time for me.”

“Anyone who knows about your sleep schedule would be worried about this.”

Garnet pouted as she muttered. Knowing it was out of concern for me, I smiled and looked back at her.

“And yet, Garnet, you sleep later than I do and wake up earlier.”

“Oh, miss, if you aren’t going to sleep, how could I go to bed? You’ll probably sleep in your dress, saying, ‘Ugh, so troublesome.'”

“Garnet, who knew me so well, always won in these verbal battles. She knew so much about me, but why is it that she doesn’t understand when it comes to feeling bothered? I turned my head with a look that clearly said I had lost. Seizing the moment, Garnet quickly began to pile on the nagging.

“Miss, you absolutely must go to bed by midnight tonight! And you should do a face mask before bed for your skin care.”

“Wouldn’t it be more beneficial to go over the documents a bit more instead of doing that?”

“Shall I bring the madam to you?”

…I could just sleep, right? Just sleep.

***

Inside the carriage heading to the palace, I lay back in the seat and closed my eyes, feeling as if I were dead. My body, exhausted more than yesterday, screamed in every part. Unlike yesterday, when I had postponed everything for just one more day, today Garnet was not going to let me off easily.

Since there are quite a few people coming and going in the palace, every time I enter, I’m exposed to the gazes of various individuals. And, with that comes a lot of gossip.

Even though I have kept my distance from the social world, I still try to be cautious when entering the palace. Or, perhaps because of that, I try even harder to act like everything is fine, to appear aloof… Regardless, the outcome for me seems to be the same, so it doesn’t really matter.

“I will guide you.”

The same maid as yesterday bowed in front of me. I thought she was one of the resident maids from Dorothea Palace, but seeing her again today, it seemed she was one of the personal maids dispatched from the central palace to assist with the delegation. But why would Canerva Gray have been assigned a maid? Typically, male nobles are given attendants, aren’t they?

As I thought about it, it seemed odd, and I was about to ask the maid about her affiliation, but then I noticed a figure beyond her and froze. The gaze, unwavering and intense, was fixed directly on me.

Even though I was sure he saw my surprise, without the slightest hesitation, he started walking towards me. I swallowed nervously and quickly scanned my surroundings. Thankfully, since we had passed Sylvania Palace, there was no one else around.

The maid stepped aside according to the palace’s protocol, allowing him to approach. As I felt the maid’s gaze, silently waiting for me to greet him first, I suddenly realized how ridiculous my expression must be. The reasoning that returned to me late scolded me for showing such a gap in the formal greeting of the palace. I took a step forward and, as he approached, I greeted him.

“I am honored to meet the Star of Endeavor. I, Rose Knight of the Night family, offer my greetings.”

My body tensed as if Harten would call me ‘Miss’ at any moment. If he did, what would the maid do? How would I clean up the situation?

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lady.”

However, contrary to my expectations, Harten responded to my greeting with relatively ordinary words. The maid, standing beside him, showed no sign of doubt, handling everything perfectly. As I lifted my head, still tense, I saw him observing me closely.

He smiled faintly and handed a luxurious envelope to the maid standing beside him.

In the sudden situation, the maid, who was looking at me for a sign, was sent on an errand to the central palace by him. Though he came to the empire as part of a delegation, his status was undeniably that of a prince from another empire. The maid couldn’t disobey his command. After all, the one who had given her orders first was none other than an aristocrat from Endeavor.

For the maid, it must have been difficult to leave while trying to gauge my reaction, but she likely had no choice. And, clearly, it was Harten’s intention to take advantage of that. In no time, he stood before me with a smile on his face.

“Miss.”

It was clearly yesterday when I had pushed him away, saying it couldn’t be. The wounded look I had given him yesterday still lingered, but Harten, as if it didn’t matter, stood in front of me smiling again.

“You… after hearing those words from me, do you still think you can look at me?”

“……”

His face, both wounded and pitiful yet smiling, had tormented me throughout the night. What did that brief time in the past mean? Despite his status as a prince, the title of “Miss” that he used to address me every time, and the expression on his face when he saw me, so eager and flustered, all pricked at my conscience.

“Why don’t you hate me?”

Despite having hurt him so much, I had never once listened to his true feelings. Even though I knew, even though I had realized it, I deliberately denied it and turned away, pretending not to understand. Yet, Harten still kept holding onto my hand, and it scared me. I feared I might hurt him irreparably. So…

“Do you want me to hate you?”

“…”

“…I’m fine.”