“Why, why would you think that? You didn’t choose to be born into this world, so how can you be guilty from that moment on? I can’t pretend to understand your pain, but… that’s not something you can decide with your will.”
To think that Gined, who seemed so noble, had such low self-esteem.
The wounds he revealed were shocking and sorrowful.
Gined shook his head.
“You and I are different. You are perfect just as you are. No matter how much those who envy you try to bring you down, they can’t leave a single mark. But taking in a disgraced holy knight is different. I’ve abandoned my vows and honor, leaving only disgrace. I would surely bring you shame. Now I fear becoming a blemish on someone else.”
“Sir…”
“If you abandon me, I would have nowhere to run.”
It was the most polite, honest, and yet sorrowful rejection I had ever heard.
Honestly, I couldn’t fully understand his feelings. If it were me, I would shamelessly continue living as a prince, enjoying all the luxuries. But with his overly upright nature, he couldn’t forgive even the smallest flaw.
Gined gently and politely removed my hand.
“I won’t return today, so please rest comfortably.”
Then he left the room.
I couldn’t bring myself to stop him. The headache was completely gone, but another kind of pain had taken its place.
I sat dazed on the bed for a while before finally pulling myself together.
I trudged back to the bedroom but hesitated at the door. I didn’t have the confidence to face Shahar’s cold attitude in this state.
After hesitating, I ended up heading to Seren’s room.
Seren, who was about to go to bed, widened her eyes when she saw me.
“Oh my, who made you cry?”
Only then did I realize that I was sniffling. Seren wiped my tears with practiced ease.
“Did you get rejected again? Was it Sir Roengreen this time too?”
Without saying a word, she understood everything.
“Why do you keep pushing yourself on someone who doesn’t like you? Don’t cry, shh. Sir Roengreen isn’t the only man in the world.”
“Yeah… I’ve given up now.”
“Good thinking. I didn’t expect it, but he’s really a heartless person. It’s okay, you’re beautiful and rich, so you can forget about him and start fresh.”
Seren hugged me gently.
That night, I fell asleep in a corner of her bed, using her comfort as a lullaby.
* * *
After that day, I decided to completely let go of my feelings for Gined.
It wasn’t that I lost affection for him, but his last words kept echoing in my mind.
‘If you abandon me, I would have nowhere to run.’
I didn’t have the arrogant expectation that I could heal his wounds with my dull senses.
The Crown Prince, beautiful yet cold by nature, was often compared to a thorny rose.
But the one who truly raised his thorns was not Pinion, but Gined.
“Sigh…”
Thinking of Gined made me sigh involuntarily. I was turning the pages of the book, but not a single word registered.
“What book are you reading?”
I heard Iscallion’s voice in the library, where I thought I was alone. He was sitting far away, having arrived unnoticed.
He looked as rough as I did.
I lifted the book cover to show him, unsure if he could see it.
“The Geographical Features and Culture of Pontos…?”
With his excellent eyesight, he read the title clearly. Only then did I realize the title of the book I was reading.
‘No wonder it was so boring.’
I closed the book without hesitation.
Unlike his first bold question, the second one took a long time to come out.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah. Do you know how skilled the priests are? You shouldn’t be so reluctant to visit the temple when you’re sick.”
Trying to act like a proper older sister, I answered calmly.
Iscallion bit his lip.
“…It was my fault.”
“What did you do wrong? You didn’t know. I’m really okay. It was bearable… Anyway, don’t stay there, come here. You’re too far away.”
He was so far away that it was hard to talk without raising my voice. While he might not mind with his abilities, it was too bothersome for me. Moreover, this was a library that had to remain solemn.
Iscallion stubbornly shook his head.
“No. I won’t touch you recklessly anymore.”
“I didn’t ask you to touch me. I just want to talk closer.”
After repeatedly urging him with gestures, he reluctantly moved a bit closer. But it wasn’t much better.
“More. Never mind, just stay there.”
In the end, I got up and sat next to him.
“Does your head still hurt?”
Before he could answer, I placed my hand on his sculpted forehead.
“No.”
Unlike last time, only warm heat was transmitted.
I smiled brightly, as if to show off.
“See. It’s okay, isn’t it?”
Iscallion awkwardly lowered my hand. He looked at my chapped lips and quickly became sullen.
The medicine Gined gave me was a painkiller. It alleviated the headache, but the wound hadn’t healed yet.
“Aren’t you mad at me?”
“Who would do this much for someone they hate? They say that pain decreases when it’s shared. So, I decided to share it with you.”
“Pain is pain, how can it be shared? I really hate seeing you in pain.”
“I hate seeing you suffer alone more than being in pain because of you, Leon.”
Iscallion suddenly fell silent.
Worried that his headache might have returned, I quickly checked his complexion. His cheeks were flushed like ripe apples.
“What’s wrong? Does it hurt again?”
He shook his head. There was no sign of pain.
“It doesn’t hurt, but it’s strange. Every time you say that, my chest feels prickly. It’s a happy and ticklish but painful feeling. What do you call that?”
“That is…”
“Tell me. You know everything.”
Iscallion looked at me like a child who believes their parents are omnipotent.
Seeing me hesitate without finding an answer, Iscallion smiled brightly.
“But I think I already know the answer.”
Before I knew it, his face was right in front of me.
“Is this love?”
“Leon…”
Instead of answering, I called his name, and he placed his lips on mine. Precisely on the chapped wound.
The soft and tender feeling made me freeze.
After a moment, Iscallion hesitantly pulled away. It was a very short and clumsy kiss.
My face instantly heated up. I lowered my head and took a step back.
I thought he might kiss me more passionately, but surprisingly, he didn’t demand more. As if the brief contact was enough.
I realized this was my perfect opportunity.
Whether he saw me as a human painkiller or not didn’t matter. If I confessed my love to him, I could finally save the world. But for some reason, I couldn’t open my mouth.
Seeing me hesitate, Iscallion asked cautiously.
“Did it bother you?”
“No, it’s not that…”
“Then?”
“I was just a little surprised. It’s my first time experiencing this.”
In the end, I dodged the question.
I knew this wasn’t the answer he wanted, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Fortunately, Iscallion seemed satisfied.
“You’re my first too. You’re the only one who ever got hurt for me.”
His voice, confessing, carried a faint warmth and shyness.
I hugged him tightly.
“There will be plenty of people who will love you in the future. You’re such a kind and good person.”
“I don’t need anyone else. I just need you.”
“Uh…”
Even someone as oblivious as me could tell he was waiting for my answer.
It took me a while before I finally spoke.
“Can you give me some time? I’m too confused right now…”
“It’s okay if you don’t answer right away. I can wait.”
“Thank you.”
This time, he changed the question.
“You like me too, right?”
This time, I nodded without hesitation.
Iscallion smiled brightly.
* * *
“Ugh…”
I groaned and roughly ran my hand through my hair. My head was already a mess, and Iscallion had added fuel to the fire.
‘First kiss…’
Although it was just a light peck, barely enough to call a kiss, I was still unprepared for it. And the thought that I had to give him an answer someday weighed heavily on my heart.
I sat dumbfounded in the garden, sighing deeply. There was a banquet in full swing today as well, but I couldn’t bring myself to join in and laugh with everyone.
Since coming to Pontos, my relationships with the male leads had become an unfathomable labyrinth.
Of course, it was better than having no hope or dreams as before, but I wasn’t sure if I was heading in the right direction.
‘Well, how would I know, I’ve never had a proper relationship.’
I didn’t know how long I had been sitting there when I suddenly felt a chill. Even the heated magic stones couldn’t completely fend off the fierce cold of Pontos.
As I tried to warm my hands with my breath, a thick robe was draped over my shoulders.
I instinctively pulled the robe tight and looked up to see the Crown Prince.
“What are you doing here alone? And what’s wrong with your lips?”
“It’s none of your business.”
I awkwardly covered my lips with my hand.
The Crown Prince grabbed my chin and inspected my lips with a dissatisfied expression.
“Did someone hit you?”
“Do I look like someone who would get beaten up?”
I sharply pushed his hand away. Then, a sudden thought made me furious.
If you think about it, Iscallion, who was hit by the Crown Prince, passed the injury to me, so in the end, it was like the Crown Prince indirectly inflicted violence on me.
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dennlaure
Aaah no Lou, no. That’s not right.
Even if Pinion is a douchebag, you can’t blame him for your wounds. You are the one who decided to willingly touch Leon to heal him.