Chapter 43 – Piano

Seeing Kairan’s unusual condition, Lenoa lost her appetite as well. She put down her fork and knife and spoke.

“Your Grace, are you unwell?”

“Oh, no, I’m fine.”

“It’s written all over your face, though. That you’re not feeling well. I’ll be fine, so please go back and rest.”

Although Kairan initially refused, he eventually stopped eating and got up at Lenoa’s insistence. Watching him stagger weakly away, Lenoa couldn’t help but feel concerned.

Pulling the cord to summon the servants, Lenoa instructed them to keep a close eye on the Grand Duke, as he seemed unwell, and to report immediately if anything unusual happened.

She tried to resume her meal, but her eyes kept drifting to Kairan’s empty seat. In the end, she drank a final glass of water and got up to leave. It suddenly dawned on her that just as he was overly concerned about her, she too was worrying about him.

‘Both of us are acting strange today.’

Setting the glass down, Lenoa left the dining hall.

***

‘Ha, what a disgrace I’ve shown.’

In a room on the second floor, reserved for male royals, Kairan lay sprawled on the bed. Despite his relaxed posture, his fatigue showed no signs of easing.

The effects of the medication made his eyes heavy with drowsiness, and though mild, he was also running a fever. His heart raced uncontrollably, and he worried about Lenoa noticing, adding to his unease.

‘I should’ve gotten rid of those sleeping pills ages ago.’

Last night, Kairan had taken sleeping pills again.

Today’s plan to visit the secondary palace with Lenoa had brought him both anticipation and anxiety.

To prepare for today, Kairan had worked tirelessly until yesterday. He had even completed two days’ worth of work in advance and resolved an issue concerning John’s father.

The message had been delivered through the Blandi Ducal Estate in Celesta. The estate, abandoned except for a few remaining managers after the Blandi family’s silent relocation to Benecia, was practically a ruin. Nevertheless, it was the perfect place for exchanging secret messages.

As expected, John’s father had unknowingly entered Benecia. Wandering through a deserted mountain path at dawn, he had crossed the border into enemy territory.

His shabby appearance, foreign accent, and suspicious demeanor had likely raised numerous alarms, and the Bliss security forces had promptly arrested him.

Only then had John’s father realized he was in enemy territory. Detained and unable to act, he was in a dire situation. Even if he were a noble, he might have been granted special pardon, but as a commoner, his chances were slim.

Fortunately, with the help of the King and Queen of Benecia, John’s father was safely returned to Celesta. John had expressed his gratitude so profusely it was almost overwhelming.

But there was something far more important than the matter of John’s father—something that concerned both himself and Lenoa.

It was about confessing his feelings to Lenoa at the secondary palace.

Since the day after Lenoa’s debutante ball, Kairan had been meticulously preparing. He had already purchased a proposal accessory made of the finest jewels, keeping it perfectly preserved without a speck of dust.

The bouquet was crafted with twenty fresh roses, arranged as elegantly as a wedding bouquet. While he could carry the accessory in his pocket, the bouquet required delicate care, so he had secretly entrusted it to the caretaker of the detached palace.

Everything had gone smoothly, like a ship sailing with a strong wind, leaving little to worry about. But the key was Lenoa’s reaction. If she rejected his confession, the “relationship” he had built so far would collapse entirely.

In truth, Kairan was more focused on the possibility of rejection than acceptance, constantly plagued by anxiety.

If she rejects my confession, we’ll end up in a cold war like before, won’t we? Perhaps our relationship will never recover. She might even take away my position as her secretary…

Most of his memories with Lenoa were marked by barriers, making it hard to think positively.

In the end, he resorted to taking the sleeping pills he had hidden deep in the cabinet.

He hadn’t wanted to take them because of their side effects, but he felt his body would suffer more without them.

Today, he deeply regretted that choice.

Dragging his aching body, Kairan headed to the next room to check on the proposal gift.

Fortunately, the accessory and bouquet were intact. The ring and necklace sparkled as if freshly bought, and the bouquet remained as vibrant as ever.

Since he planned to propose in his room, he carefully hid the gifts again before leaving. Standing outside the door, he pondered what to do next.

Lenoa was likely in her room on the first floor, having finished her meal. Feeling somewhat recovered, he decided to head downstairs to chat with her.

As he walked down the first-floor hallway, he noticed a room that appeared to be a small banquet hall. Peeking through the door, he saw a grand piano inside.

‘A piano…!’

Kairan’s face lit up with a triumphant smile, as if he had found a treasure. He knew how to play the piano.

During his time in Benecia, he had learned piano as part of the noble education curriculum. While most nobles only learned enough to read sheet music and play basic melodies, Kairan was different.

He found the piano fascinating and had requested advanced lessons from his teacher. By the time he reached adulthood, he had become skilled enough to teach others.

Kairan believed he had a talent for the piano and had worked hard to nurture it. His teacher often praised him, though Kairan suspected it might have been influenced by the generous tuition fees. Nevertheless, he accepted the compliments gratefully.

“…”

Before he knew it, Kairan’s mood sank. He had recalled an unpleasant memory associated with the piano.

‘Father, I mean, Your Grace. I can play the piano well. Would you like to hear…?’

One day, after playing a light piece, Kairan had hesitantly spoken to his father when he returned to the ducal estate after work.

Though his father was more of a “Your Grace” than a parent, Kairan had hoped that witnessing his progress would bring him joy—or at least, he might listen.

Even if his father criticized his performance, Kairan thought it would be fine. He could work harder and play more challenging pieces later. He loved the piano and believed in his skills, even as a beginner.

‘What? Piano? Stop that racket!’

Kairan’s father, the Duke of Blandi, had shouted and left the room as if fleeing. It was as though he were escaping the sound of the piano, even though Kairan’s instrument had been silent, waiting for his father’s performance.

After that day, Kairan never mentioned the piano to his father again, nor did he play when his father was at the estate.

His father’s cold reaction had made Kairan consider giving up the piano altogether. But his passion wasn’t something that could be crushed by a single harsh word. Even if his father had disposed of the piano and dismissed his teacher, Kairan would have found a way to continue learning.

Surprisingly, his father hadn’t stopped him from playing. The piano teacher continued visiting the estate as usual, which was proof enough.

More importantly, the estate had always housed a grand piano, even before Kairan had learned the word “piano.”

If the Duke had truly hated the instrument, he would have gotten rid of it long ago. Kairan wouldn’t have even been able to learn it as part of his basic education.

He wondered what had become of that piano. With both him and his teacher gone, it might have been discarded. But it didn’t matter anymore.

In Celesta, the piano was not considered basic etiquette like it was in Benecia. There was no piano in the royal palace, and it seemed neither Lenoa nor the late King and Queen knew anything about the instrument. Even if there had been a piano, Kairan would hardly have had time to play it due to his studies in royal governance. Despite having the freedom to play the piano in Celesta, he rarely had the opportunity.

‘Young Master, it would be wonderful if you could one day play for someone you like. Haha.’

That was what Kairan’s piano teacher, who was only five years older than him, had said. In fact, the teacher had won his current wife’s heart with his piano playing, leading to their marriage. It was a story he had shared during a break in their piano lessons, whether Kairan wanted to hear it or not.

At the time, Kairan had only half-listened to the story, but recalling it now, he felt grateful. He even wondered why he hadn’t remembered it sooner.

“Someone I like…”

Unlike in the past, there was someone now. Not in Benecia, where he had learned piano, but in Celesta. He was in love with the most beautiful woman in the world.

If he confessed his feelings to her today and followed it up with a piano performance, she would undoubtedly be delighted. Unlike his father, she would not only listen attentively but also applaud him. After all, hadn’t she praised him in a letter to Viscountess Elwen, saying he was doing a good job? Even though they had kept some distance between them, she always acknowledged what deserved acknowledgment. That trait of hers was why his heart…

Suddenly, he found it hard to breathe. It wasn’t because he was lost in the memories of love. His throat—or rather, his entire body—felt as though it were being constricted, and he couldn’t keep himself upright. He pressed his palm against the wall for support, but even that failed him, and he collapsed to the floor.

He should have stayed in his room and rested more. Wandering around just because he felt a little better had been a grave mistake.

Kairan tried to get up, but it was impossible. He was already struggling to stay conscious, and there was no strength left to move his body.

‘…I was… trying to go… to Lenoa…’

Just a few more steps, and he would have been able to see her. But Kairan’s thoughts of Lenoa faded as his consciousness slipped away and his eyes closed.

“Y-Your Grace, the Grand Duke!”

One of the servants who had been following Kairan on Lenoa’s orders found him and cried out in alarm.

The servant quickly helped Kairan to a nearby room with a bed. Acting swiftly, he called for other servants to summon the palace physician and inform Lenoa.

“…”

By the time the physician arrived, Kairan was barely clinging to life.