Chapter 6 – The First Message  

Kairan had already deduced from Lenoa’s rejection of both an audience and an escort yesterday that she was still wary of him.  

Without a single attendant or retainer around, his attention was solely focused on her. If he had no interest in her, he would have kept his distance. However, since Lenoa wasn’t a man, such a scenario was impossible.  

During yesterday’s dinner, Kairan noticed bloodstains near Lenoa’s seat and assumed it was from an external injury. But after ordering an uninterested maid to bring the Palace Physician to her and returning to his chambers, the true source of the blood dawned on him.  

‘Was it… her cycle?’  

Even Kairan was aware of the monthly, painful, and bothersome biological phenomenon women endured—something akin to a chronic ailment. Though it had always been someone else’s issue, this was the first time he had witnessed it firsthand. And the person in question was none other than Lenoa, the only one he didn’t keep at a distance.  

In any case, Kairan resolved that if anything happened to Lenoa, he would immediately dismiss the maid or the palace physician using his authority. Thankfully, the maid who discreetly checked on Lenoa reported that she was recovering and currently resting.  

While that matter was settled for now, the next day brought the arrival of the Merzen Kingdom’s delegation. The meeting, scheduled a month ago, could not be postponed despite the delegation’s late-night arrival.  

‘Of all times, why did they have to come when Lady Lenoa is unwell?’  

The perception of the allied nation, which Kairan had previously viewed positively, plummeted in an instant.  

Lenoa, seated at the head table with Kairan close by, pushed herself to proceed with the meeting despite her condition. Her pale complexion and labored breathing, which had not escaped his notice, made him feel both frustrated and helpless.  

The meeting, if it could even be called that, was nothing more than an exchange of pleasantries between allied nations. Kairan’s urge to halt the meeting immediately and summon the Palace Physician or a maid to assist her was overwhelming.  

Just as the seemingly endless meeting neared its conclusion, a bombshell was dropped by the delegation.  

Merzen’s king had issued a royal edict proposing a political marriage, subtly suggesting that Lenoa take his first prince as her consort. This added yet another stain to the already tarnished image of Merzen.  

‘How dare they? A political marriage? Introducing the 1st Prince?’  

Kairan barely restrained himself from grabbing the nearest delegate by the collar and demanding whether they had come to arrange a marriage or to exploit an unwell queen for power. If it hadn’t been for Lenoa’s calming words and touch, he might have exploded, alliance or not.  

‘Kairan… That’s the first time I’ve heard it. From her lips.’  

Since their first meeting, Lenoa had always addressed him as “Grand Duke Blandi.” While he could accept it in formal settings, he had desperately wished for her to call him by his name when they were alone.  

For the first time during this meeting, she had openly called him by his name, even introducing him as someone who cared deeply for her. Her words soothed the storm of confusion raging within him.  

Though he had considered breaking the alliance entirely, he regained his composure and maintained his usual rationality. Eventually, the tiresome meeting concluded, and the detestable delegation departed.  

Seeing Lenoa looking more worn out than usual drove Kairan to the brink of madness with worry.  

‘Should I try saying something to her?’  

But whether he spoke to her or not, it seemed likely to backfire, as she already kept her distance from him.  

He knew that the best way to alleviate menstrual symptoms was to avoid stress, eat well, and rest properly. She was likely receiving devoted care from the maids and the palace physician. Pressuring them for better treatment wouldn’t ease her suffering. Moreover, if Lenoa found out how he had harshly treated the maid earlier, it would only push her further away.  

Kairan buried himself in his office, resuming the endless cycle of reading and approving documents without a moment’s rest. But his worry for Lenoa made his heart race, and the words on the documents blurred. In the end, he couldn’t even finish half of his usual workload and dropped his pen.  

He began to resent himself for not realizing her condition earlier. All he had done for her was summon the Palace Physician.  

‘If I had known, I would’ve… learned more about these cycles.’  

Not that he had the luxury to do so, having once studied relentlessly to take the throne in her stead.  

Even though Kairan hadn’t become king, he had supported Lenoa with all his might as her closest aide, using the skills he had honed over the years. He could never allow some foreign brat, whose face he didn’t even know, to sit beside her.  

The thought of Merzen strengthening their alliance by marrying off their son to her and becoming in-laws was infuriating. More than that, he couldn’t stand the shallow ploy to claim her body and heart.  

Kairan ran his hands through his hair and buried his face in his palms, trying to suppress the burning anger within him. But he couldn’t contain his emotions.  

Finally, he opened a desk drawer and grabbed a glass ornament.  

He often had servants discreetly place such ornaments in his office and chambers. Though he despised them as superficial decorations, he used them as tools to vent his frustration.  

Taking a deep breath, Kairan hurled the ornament to the floor. Crash. The sound of shattering glass echoed sharply, but he paid it no mind and began throwing more ornaments one by one.  

This habit of throwing objects to release pent-up emotions had been with him since childhood. The court staff on the fourth floor were well aware of this but kept it a secret, either through bribes or threats.  

‘She must never know.’  

Even in his current turmoil, Kairan was resolute in his wish that Lenoa remain unaware of this.  

As shards of glass scattered across the floor, Kairan paused to catch his breath. Knock, knock. The sound of knocking felt strangely out of place today.  

“Your Grace, this is Betier Meriel.”  

Betier, Lenoa’s personal maid and head maid. Kairan knew this much about her. But there was no way he could let her into the office. If she saw the mess, she would undoubtedly be shocked, and no matter how he silenced her, word would eventually reach Lenoa.  

“What is it?”  

That was all Kairan could say to Betier.  

“Her Majesty has sent a message. She wishes to see you soon.”  

‘A message…? From her to me?’  

Kairan had sent countless messages to Lenoa, but this was the first time she had sent one to him. Receiving her message for the first time in his life, Kairan felt his heart flutter instead of racing.  

He managed to reply with a single word of acknowledgment. Once the sound of the maid’s footsteps faded, he left the office and glanced around the hallway.  

Though there should have been attendants nearby, none were present at such a crucial moment. Fortunately, he spotted an unfamiliar servant cleaning the corridor.  

“You there, come here.”  

The servant, startled upon seeing Kairan, widened his eyes before dashing over like a frightened squirrel.  

“Clean this place immediately.”

Kairan raised a finger to his lips, silently commanding secrecy. He watched as the servant hurriedly began cleaning up the shattered ornaments and turned to find a mirror. Fortunately, the mirror had survived intact. Looking into it, he straightened his disheveled hair and wiped the sweat trickling down his face. It was her first message—he wanted to look presentable.  

After about ten minutes, the office seemed somewhat tidied.  

“That’s enough. You may leave now.”  

The servant scurried out, breathless. Although the room wasn’t fully cleaned, Kairan needed time to appear as if he had been waiting calmly.  

‘Hm?’  

Looking down absentmindedly, Kairan noticed shards of glass still on the carpet under the desk, remnants the servant had missed. With a jolt, he dropped to the floor and hastily grabbed the sharp fragments. A sliver nicked his wrist, and blood began to drip immediately. The sting of the shallow cut spread throughout his body, but it was nothing to him.  

However, he couldn’t let her see this. Kairan stuck his head out into the hallway and called for the servant again.  

“B-bring me a bandage.”  

The servant, startled once more, dashed off at an even faster pace than before.  

Kairan couldn’t bear the thought of Lenoa seeing him injured or in pain, especially if it stemmed from his own mental struggles.  

The servant returned quickly, carrying a first-aid kit along with cleaning tools. Upon seeing the blood dripping from Kairan’s wrist, the servant nearly fainted.  

“Y-your Grace! You’re injured! Should I call the palace physician—”  

“No, it’s fine. I’ll handle it.”  

Kairan disliked anyone else touching him, except for Lenoa.  

The servant offered to finish the cleaning, but Kairan refused even that and sent him away. The art of treating wounds wasn’t included in his royal education, so he had no idea what to do.  

‘I should’ve just asked that guy for help.’  

All he managed to do was wrap a bandage around the wound. At least the pain, which felt like it had spread across his entire body, subsided somewhat.  

Amidst the chaos, Kairan hadn’t even noticed Lenoa’s arrival.  

“Um… Your Grace?”  

Hearing Lenoa’s voice, which he found incredibly beautiful, Kairan finally snapped back to reality. He quickly rolled down his sleeve and turned around.  

Lenoa stood there, wearing a simpler dress than usual, her long hair flowing freely. It was his favorite hairstyle of hers, and the sight of it gradually calmed his turbulent emotions.  

Queen Lenoa had come to ask her aide, Kairan, for permission to visit her nanny’s estate for two days—a request for leave.  

However, there was an overwhelming amount of work for both of them. With Lenoa still unfamiliar with state affairs, Kairan had been handling even more responsibilities on her behalf. If she left the palace for not one but two days, disruptions were inevitable.  

Still, by condensing the schedule into a single day and increasing the workload, it might be manageable. Moreover, Lenoa had been through a lot recently, with her coronation and her monthly cycle. On a human level, he felt he had to let her go.  

‘Leaving me behind? Not a chance.’  

But Kairan saw through her hidden intention: she wanted to get away from him, even if only for a day. While she would have an escort, it was clear she intended to go alone.  

Kairan, too, had endured many frustrations while staying at the palace, but the fact that Lenoa was there had always brought him solace. Without her presence, he felt he might truly lose his mind this time.  

It wasn’t solely because of his mental struggles. Kairan didn’t want to be apart from Lenoa, not even for a single day. Wherever she went, he wanted to go with her. No matter how much she tried to avoid him, he was determined to get closer to her and eventually reach her.  

As Lenoa disappeared from his sight, Kairan abandoned his paperwork and instead began thinking about accompanying her on the outing. He was already aware of her nanny’s story, as well as that of her nanny’s husband, Viscount Elwen, who was also a former Commander of the Imperial Knight Order. Though he had never met them, he knew they were as close as family to Lenoa, which left a bitter taste in his mouth.  

“Don’t forget to remind her. To call me by my name.”  

Murmuring about his promise with Lenoa, Kairan felt excitement well up in him for the first time in a while.