The Pregnant Maid Runs Away - Chapter 8: The Runaway Maid (Part 1)
Chapter 8: The Runaway Maid (Part 1)
Lizbeth’s opportunity to leave came sooner than expected: the border’s defenses were weakening, and the day was approaching when Bieren would have to leave on an expedition. Bieren wanted to take Lizbeth with him. He had entertained thoughts of shackling her ankle, which he feared would snap at the slightest squeeze. But there was no way he could take Lizbeth to such a dangerous place, much less put heavy shackles on her. To Bieren, Lizbeth was such a presence. A presence he couldn’t handle more roughly or recklessly. He felt that more and more with each passing day.
“Are you really going to that dangerous place?”
Lizbeth asked again, her worry evident. Bieren leaving wasn’t her concern, she was too worried that he might get hurt and not return. Bieren smiled at the maid’s worried face. The more anxious she became, the more his own anxiety seemed to dissipate. There was no way that a maid who cared so much about him could leave him. But he wanted to see Lizbeth holding onto him, so he continued with his mean words.
“If I never return, you’ll be free, unfortunately.”
“Don’t say such things. Please return safely.”
Lizbeth handed the handkerchief she had made herself. The embroidery she’d painstakingly done lay on it. It was so embarrassing to show off her mediocre skills, but she engraved her wish for his safe return on it. She handed him the handkerchief and couldn’t even lift her head. With her head bowed so low in shame, she couldn’t see how much the man in front of her was blushing over the handkerchief. Bieren took Lizbeth’s handkerchief and spoke in a hushed voice.
“It’s not such a dangerous journey, so don’t worry unnecessarily.”
He lied to avoid worrying Lizbeth. The maid was too kind. She was worried about a man much stronger than her, who picked up a snake when she was young. She worried about him, the man who had cut open between her legs in the middle of the night and made her sick for two nights, worried about him at the news of the loss of his parents and even now, she worried about him without caring about his cruel intentions of undressing her and locking her up in the bedroom. Bieren always wondered how she could be so kind. Her unwavering kindness melted him down. The nobleman was defeated by his humble maid.
“…When I return, there will be something you need to tell me.”
Bieren left a task for the maid. He hoped that the maid who would remain at the ducal residence would spit out a confession of longing when he returned from the long journey. He looked forward to the morning when they would be reunited as lovers at the end of his journey.
“Lizbeth.”
For the first time, Bieren spoke Lizbeth’s name. The maid looked up, somewhat surprised, and he pulled up the maid’s chin and pressed his lips against her, their tongues intertwining clumsily as if it were the first time they’d ever kissed after all the days they spent together. It wasn’t the maid who was foolish, it was him. Bieren felt like he would remember this moment for a long time.
* * *
After Bieren left for his expedition, Lizbeth was allowed to take walks. However, she was prone to collapsing with just a few steps. It was often the task of other maids to support her and take her back inside. The realization that she couldn’t even walk properly came as a shock to her. It seemed that the only thing she was truly capable of now was to receive the man’s affection.
Lizbeth vividly remembered the days when she used to run down the corridors of the duke’s mansion, running errands for the duchess. She would stand in these corridors and stare out the window at the man she could never reach. She dared to think of him as a man, who was her master. Despite finally being by his side, where she wanted to be, she didn’t understand why her heart remained unfulfilled.
No, Lizbeth knew the reason. It was because she realized she could never be the only one by Bieren’s side. Despite her high status as a maid compared to her lowly upbringing in an orphanage where she was even abandoned by her parents, she knew that she would still be confined to the role of receiving his desires, even if the lady of the mansion were to come in.
Did I really think I could become his wife? How could a mere maid dare to hope to become the wife of her master, a duke nonetheless?
Lizbeth scolded herself for harboring such thoughts. It felt like she was being punished for her greed. Bieren didn’t bother to send a single letter. Lizbeth sent countless letters, but she didn’t know if he even read them. She felt empty inside. Her empty stomach no longer accepted food, and the mere smell of food made her nauseous.
“My lady, are you perhaps pregnant?”
Some of the maids called Lizbeth ‘My lady’. They did so because they knew how much Bieren loved her, and they couldn’t address her with just any title. Now, even that title sounded like wishful thinking.
Lizbeth couldn’t help but clench her stomach carefully at the mention of pregnancy. There was no way she could have gotten pregnant with all the contraceptives Bieren had been giving her, but the uneasiness lingered and shook her. The maid asked with a worried expression
“Shall I call the physician?”
At that moment, Lizbeth imagined the physician summoned to the ducal residence to deliver the news of her pregnancy. If that happened, Lizbeth’s child would be considered Bieren’s illegitimate child, publicly acknowledged as such. Lizbeth was nothing more than a maid who could be expelled from the manor at any time, but the child, being the noble’s illegitimate offspring, would have to stay in the estate. The thought of Lizbeth not being able to be by her child’s side if a child were to come between them, and being cast out, filled her with anxiety, and she shook her head violently.
“…No, no, it’s fine.”
It was better to leave on her own before she could be driven out without him even seeing the child.
Lizbeth cautiously left the mansion only when everyone had fallen asleep. All she took with her was a bar of soap Bieren had given her as a gift long ago. Since there would be guards at the front gate, she sought out the back gate used by the servants. Instead of crossing the vast courtyard, she found an opening in the wall. Young maids caught passing through the hole had been scolded, but due to the discretion of the wise housekeeper who knew it was their only solace, the matter wasn’t brought to the attention of the former ducal couple. Lizbeth glanced back at the darkened manor before bowing her head in front of the hole.