Side Story 2: The Star We Didn’t See That Day (Part 1)

Bieren always went to bed later than Lizbeth and woke up earlier than her.

Before falling asleep, he checked if Lizbeth was by his side, and when he woke up, he made sure she was still there. It had become his routine to touch the tip of Lizbeth’s nose and feel her breath when he opened his eyes. 

Bieren had previously suffered nightmares about losing Lizbeth, but now he no longer dreamed such nightmares, but he still checks on her out of habit.

“…….”

Lizbeth slept without even a sound of breath, which always plunged Bieren into anxiety. 

Watching her sleep reminded him of the time she was locked up in his bedroom, and it also reminded him of the time she was unconscious after giving birth.

The sight of her sleeping always made Bieren feel regret. Every morning, he checked on Lizbeth as she slept beside him and buried his face in her hands. Lizbeth’s return felt like a miraculous opportunity given to him.

“I love you.”

Bieren always uttered his confession, akin to penitence. It was different from the chirpy declarations of love he made when awake. 

This was more like penance for his past misdeeds. It was like a promise to never treat Lizbeth badly again.

Lizbeth’s eyelids fluttered at the man’s heavy declaration of love, and then she looked up at Bieren in a daze. A smile spread across her face as she recognized the man before her as her husband. She called out to him in a hushed voice.

“…Bieren.”

The moment a smile spread across Lizbeth’s seemingly lifeless face, a smile also spread across Bieren’s. Only then did he press a kiss on her forehead.

While she was asleep, he had refrained from kissing her for fear of waking her. Starting from her forehead, Bieren continuously kissed her nose and lips, whispering, 

“Good morning.”

He knew how joyful it was to be able to greet the morning with Lizbeth in bed.

Lizbeth laughed, nuzzling into his arms naturally.

The maid, who had once found it difficult to get into Bieren’s arms, was now the hostess of the ducal residence.

The status bestowed upon Lizbeth straightened her spine and naturally enabled her to demand affection.

Bieren thought the change was good.

“I had a dream.”

Lizbeth suddenly lifted her head from the cocoon of Bieren’s chest. Bieren, ready to listen, tucked her hair behind her ear to show his attentiveness.

“What was it about?”

“I dreamt of the day of my coming-of-age birthday, the day of the hunting tournament.”

It was also the day that Bieren and Lizbeth overheard the duchess’s affair together in the stable. Lizbeth remembered so clearly how happy she had been to receive a cake from Bieren that day.

Unlike Lizbeth, who had a faint smile on her face, Bieren’s expression darkened upon hearing those words.

He had teased her that day, saying that Lizbeth had gotten so excited by the sound of the stable man and his mother flirting affairs that he had tightened his grip on her bottom. He shouldn’t have touched her so easily.

“You had wagered your handkerchief in the hunting contest that day.”

Unaware of Bieren’s thoughts, Lizbeth whispered about that day.

It was a plain handkerchief with no embroidery. As if that didn’t bother him, Bieren wore Lizbeth’s handkerchief to the race.

The memory of that day was too intense for Lizbeth. Anxious that he might have received someone else’s handkerchief, she was overjoyed to see her own on Bieren’s wrist.

“That’s right. I was fond of you.”

Bieren did not hide his feelings from that time. Each time he masturbated, he took Lizbeth’s handkerchief and wrapped it around his penis genitals, stroking it.

He wore the worn-out handkerchief on his wrist to the contest. It was something he wouldn’t normally do. But love always makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do.

Bieren gently brushed Lizbeth’s hair and asked her,

“How was it, dreaming about the hunting contest after so long?”

“It was fun. You asked me to ride into the outskirts that evening, and I dreamed that we were on horseback, riding through the grass together.”

Lizbeth replied dreamily, almost mumbling. She dreamed that she and Bieren were riding through the hills on horseback. She dreamed she was outside the ducal residence with a man who wore her handkerchief around his wrist. It was like a scene from a fairy tale she’d seen.

Bieren stroked Lizbeth’s forehead and said.

“You must have been quite disappointed that you didn’t get to go out that day.”

Bieren had indeed planned to take Lizbeth, who was celebrating her coming-of-age birthday that day, out to the outskirts. He wanted to teach her how to hold the reins, as she sat in front of him on the horse, unsure of what to do. He wanted to take her riding through the meadows to show her the stars.

Even when he had not fully realized his own feelings, he had dreamed of a romance with Lizbeth. Looking back, it felt foolish not to have recognized his feelings. What kind of master would show the stars to a mere maid by taking her on a horse ride?

“Instead of showing you my mother’s affair in the stable that day, I wanted to show you the stars.”

Bieren said with self-deprecating humor. It seemed he regretted having inadvertently exposed Lizbeth to his mother’s affair and wanted to blame someone else for it.

So he pulled the trigger of his anger at Lizbeth who shuddered at the sound of the stable man and his mother together. He exercised his rights over her, the most vulnerable and precious being in his arms, as if it were rightfully his to do so.

“Stars?”

Lizbeth asked, a twinkle in her eye.

She was often invited to the ladies’ tea parties and balls. When she returned to the ducal residence, she spent most of her time with the children or studying.

Sometimes she even reminisced about her days as a maid, when she would go out and walk along the crumbling walls when her master was not around.

However, as the Duchess, she couldn’t just disappear anywhere in the mansion. That’s why Lizbeth was excited about the possibility of going out for walks with Bieren in the vicinity.

“Do you also like looking at the stars too, Bieren?”

Bieren wasn’t really interested in anything that lit up the dark sky. But he did like the jewel-like sparkle in Lizbeth’s eyes. Whenever she showed interest in something, her eyes sparkled so much that he felt compelled to grant her any request.

“I do like it.”

Bieren replied, unable to take his eyes off Lizbeth’s face. He loved seeing her face light up with joy. He was certain he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off her even if they went to see the stars. Leaning in, Bieren kissed her forehead and said. 

“I’d like to go out with just the two of us, without the children. It’s been a while since I’ve had you all to myself.”

Unlike Erik, the oldest, who was three years old, Dana, the second, had not yet been weaned. The younger child still needed her parents’ hands.

Lizbeth had wanted to put the children’s beds in the spacious master bedroom.

However, after Dana woke Lizbeth up crying early one morning, Bieren had the bedrooms separated the very next day. He reassured a reluctant Lizbeth, telling her that a nanny was always on standby to soothe Dana.

“But in the bedroom….”

Lizbeth unwittingly opened her mouth in response to his remark about not having monopolized her recently, then closed it again.

She opened her mouth to retort, without thinking, that in the bedroom, Bieren was relentless in his domination of her, but the subject was too lascivious for her to say anything.

Lizbeth and Bieren had sex almost every day. On days when Lizbeth was unwell, he would even masturbate to her, like a pervert. Bieren was quick to pick up on Lizbeth’s unspoken words and smirked maliciously.

“So, you only count the time in the bedroom as our couple’s time, you beast.”

Lizbeth blushed and shook her head at Bieren’s crude joke. Aside from sex and childcare, Lizbeth had no idea how to spend their time as a couple. Lizbeth blushed at Bieren’s teasing, but she asked again.

“I don’t know anything else. What do you suggest we do with our time as a couple?”

“We could go see the stars you’ve always wanted to see, and maybe take in a play together.”

Bieren mused, recalling the types of outings he had often heard about from other couples. Lizbeth’s eyes widened at the mention of a play. 

To her, everything that was an everyday occurrence of Bieren seemed like a story from a book.

Bieren knew that Lizbeth’s upbringing was different from his, so he emphasized his own unfamiliarity too.

“I’d like to try it with you, one by one, slowly. I don’t know much about theater either, so we might fumble through it together.”

“If we fumble together, it won’t feel lonely.”

Lizbeth smiled, believing the words to be true. With Lizbeth, everything was new to Bieren. He decided to treat it all as a first time. The moments spent with her were what truly made him feel alive.

Only the time with her was valid for him, only the moments with her made him feel alive.