He carefully sat down next to Erin.

“Lady Erin, has something happened?”

“Yes, many things have happened. So many things…”

Erin rested her head on Ferdin’s shoulder as she spoke. Ferdin blushed, unsure how to react. He patted her gently, handling her like a fragile gem. He was always such a kind person.

‘Ferdin doesn’t love me.’

He was simply a compassionate person. Erin had always thought this. Otherwise, his tender actions toward her wouldn’t make sense. In her previous life, Erin had appreciated his sympathy. Even though Ferdin might not have loved her, his kindness kept her going.

‘Just this once, since it might be the last time…’

This action might cause Ferdin to avoid her. He might feel burdened by her sudden closeness. But Erin didn’t want to miss this moment. She wanted to spend even one more moment with Ferdin. In truth, she had wanted this for a very long time.

She wanted to be with him. To touch him, to hear his breathing… she had constantly thought how wonderful it would be if he loved her. Had she grown up normally with love, she might have become quite a greedy person. Wanting the person you love unrequitedly to love you back—wasn’t that too much to ask?

But she had lived her entire life suppressing her desires. Holding back what she wanted to do, unable to freely love the person she wanted to love. So now she decided not to worry about what Ferdin might think of her. She couldn’t argue if someone called her selfish.

“Lord Ferdin, I have one request.”

“…”

“It might seem absurd, but… please promise me you’ll survive, even if you must be selfish to do so.”

“Lady Erin?”

Ferdin couldn’t understand her words. But when his eyes met Erin’s, he was struck speechless. She was looking at him with wounded eyes.

‘Why is she looking at me with such sad eyes?’

At that moment, Ferdin suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu from Erin’s words. A strange feeling that something like this had happened before. Something seemed to be stirring in his mind. Ferdin could soon feel his ability activating. A severe headache struck.

In the past that appeared before his eyes, Ferdin realized. Yes, he and Erin had had a similar conversation before. It was slightly different, but… very similar.

“Lord Ferdin, I have one request. …Please come back alive.”

“…”

“When you return, I’ll have something to tell you. You must promise me. Promise you’ll do your best to return.”

Ferdin winced as his ability suddenly activated. Seeing his expression, Erin lowered her head, thinking his grimace was due to her unreasonable request.

“Lady Erin, that’s…”

As Ferdin, suddenly regaining his senses, began to speak, Erin placed her hand on his face. For a moment, Ferdin forgot how to breathe. His eyes wandered aimlessly through empty space.

“Use everything you can use, turn a blind eye to any damage caused in the process… discard pieces that need to be discarded…”

Erin’s face slowly drew closer to his.

“Think only of your life. Please survive that way. Okay?”

Ferdin realized it was time to ask about what he had been suspecting. He had a strange premonition that if not now, he would never be able to ask Erin this question again.

“Lady Erin, this might sound strange, but could you answer one thing for me?”

“…”

“Have you and I ever had a similar conversation before?”

Erin’s eyes widened as she looked at Ferdin. He was right. They had had this conversation in the past. It happened right before Ferdin died. Erin became frightened at the realization that he had discovered the past.

“Did you once tell me that… you had something to say when I returned alive? Do you perhaps know about this memory, Lady Erin?”

What she had feared was happening. If he had seen their final scene together, he would soon know why he had died in the past…

Erin squeezed her eyes shut.

“Yes, Lord Ferdin. I know.”

“…”

“I know… everything.”

At Erin’s words, Ferdin’s heart began to race. Normally, someone who knows the future through divine revelation is called a saint, but with Saint Asili already existing, there couldn’t possibly be another saint. So how did she come to know the future? Why wasn’t she revealing the truth to everyone?

Many questions arose. But if he died in the future she knew about, it would explain both what his ability had shown him and the divine revelation the saint had heard. It felt like misaligned gears were slowly coming together.

“Do you think… I’m not a bad person?”

The sad face of Erin he had seen after the banquet overlapped with the face he had seen through his ability.

“Then did you… see the future directly, Lady Erin?”

At Ferdin’s question, Erin shook her head, indicating that was the one thing she couldn’t talk about. Seeing this, Ferdin gave up asking further. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t curious about the future she knew. Above all, what he was curious about was their relationship in the future she knew.

What kind of relationship did he and Erin have? What kind of relationship would make his dying self in the scene shown by his ability call out Erin’s name so desperately? Why did his heart race inexplicably whenever he saw her, filling him with a sense of longing? Why did memories of conversations with her keep coming back to him?

“Please tell me just one thing. What were we to each other in that future? Did I… love you?”

In truth, Ferdin was half-certain. In that future, before she changed fate, he must have loved her. That would explain his racing heart whenever he saw Erin lately, the tender feelings he felt toward her. Ferdin thought his ability to see the past was instinctively recognizing Erin.

At his words, Erin’s eyelashes trembled delicately. The movement looked as beautiful as the flutter of butterfly wings. All of Ferdin’s attention focused on Erin.

And when Erin opened her mouth, he felt like a butterfly diving into a massive fire.

“No… you disliked me. I was a terrible villainess. What I’m doing now is simply atonement for that life.”

“I… disliked you, Lady Erin?”

Ferdin thought that couldn’t be possible. If Erin’s words were true, his heart wouldn’t be racing madly like this now. The indefinable emotions he felt whenever he saw her couldn’t be explained. He was certain… he could never have disliked her.

“So, don’t worry about me. That’s what’s best for you. I’m just a piece to be discarded. But since I still have some use… just use me. You don’t need to treat me so kindly.”

That she alone had loved him—this wasn’t a lie. That’s what Erin thought. But Ferdin’s subsequent action made her mind go blank. He rubbed her dry eyes, wiping imaginary tears that weren’t there.

“If the future me that Lady Erin knows disliked you, then I must have been a truly terrible person.”

“…”

“To commit such rudeness, not recognizing how kind and caring a person Lady Erin is…”

Ah, my life’s savior.

As soon as Ferdin finished speaking, Erin felt herself being saved. Tears burst from her eyes. She buried her face in Ferdin’s chest and sobbed for a long time. Loud, childlike crying echoed around them.

“I’m sorry… really, really sorry…”

I’m sorry for daring to love you. You tried to protect me, but I couldn’t do the same for you—I’m sorry.

Not knowing the exact meaning of her apology, Ferdin simply patted Erin’s back and said:

“I… am truly fine, Lady Erin.”

That awkward touch was the most caring and warm comfort she had received in her entire life.

* * *

Ferdin had dark circles under his eyes. He hadn’t been able to sleep properly last night. Whenever he tried to sleep, the image of Erin crying sorrowfully kept appearing in his mind.

‘She was a terrible villainess, and I disliked her?’