Chapter 4.5

That thought shattered three years later, when he returned to the palace after graduating from the academy.

At the party held to celebrate his return, he reunited with his young fiancée.

‘Did she grow taller?’

From behind the entrance to the banquet hall, he saw a girl with dark blue hair waiting for him. Quietly, he approached her. He intended to escort her, as she had debuted in society just before his return.

He greeted her with the same attitude as always, leaning his head slightly forward.

“It’s been a while, Little Pig.”

“?!”

Startled, she spun around, and their eyes met.

In that moment, his smile faltered.

‘Wait…?’

From behind, with her back turned, he hadn’t noticed. He had thought she would still look like the little girl he remembered, just slightly taller. But the figure before him was far from what he had expected.

Her face, once round with baby fat, had slimmed into a delicate oval. Her long lashes fluttered like butterfly wings. Her neatly shaped brows were graceful, and beneath her straight nose, her slightly parted lips were the color of ripe peaches.

Her long neck peeked out from between the strands of her elegantly adorned hair, and her soft pink dress accentuated her gentle curves.

Though she was still wearing pink, she no longer looked like a child. Even the way she blushed and cast a sidelong glance at him no longer seemed innocent.

“Truly… You’re still the same. I was so surprised.”

“…”

“Your Highness?”

“There’s no reason for me to have changed.”

Servante, who had long since mastered the art of concealing his emotions, extended his hand as if nothing had happened. Carnier placed her hand in his without hesitation.

Her hand, once small enough to fit entirely within his palm, was no longer the same. Covered in a white velvet glove, it moved with the grace of a noble lady as it rested on his palm.

For the first time, he fully realized how much time had passed.

She was no longer pretending to be a lady; she had truly become one. The realization left Servante feeling strangely unfamiliar. It felt wrong to call her “Little Pig” now.

‘They say children grow up in the blink of an eye.’

That’s all it was. He had simply been caught off guard, like an older brother surprised by how much his younger sibling had grown.

At least, that’s what he thought at the time. …That’s what he should have thought.

But as a year, then two years passed, and he watched her mature even further, unfamiliar emotions began to seep into his once steadfast heart.

Had she always smiled like that? Had her voice always been so soft? Had she always walked and danced with such elegance? Had her laughter always sounded like a beautiful melody?

“Your Highness.”

Had she always looked at me with eyes like these?

“I know it must be difficult for you after the Empress’s passing. Please… let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Had her touch always felt like this…?

No, it hadn’t.

On the day of the state funeral for the frail Empress, who had finally succumbed to her illness, Servante took a step back from the girl who gently patted his hand. Her slightly startled, questioning gaze followed him. Her emotions were so clear and undeniable that Servante clenched his teeth.

“…I’ll manage on my own.”

“Your Highness…?”

“Thank you for your concern, but I have matters to attend to…”

Turning his back, he left the room. He could feel her watching him from behind, but he didn’t look back.

This began to happen more frequently.

‘You mustn’t harbor such feelings for me.’

The plan to repay his past debts was progressing smoothly. The Duke of Raymore had joined him, and he had gained loyal followers who listened only to him, free from the shadow of his father.

In this process, the girl’s feelings were an unexpected variable. And a tragedy. Servante reminded himself of this, growing colder and drawing a thicker line between them.

“Carnier does not wish to break off the engagement with you, Your Highness.”

“That’s only because she doesn’t know the truth. You must persuade her. My father believes I have no interest in her and is already considering other matches. Whether sooner or later, he will order the engagement to be annulled. Compensation will be generous.”

“…Even so, Your Highness.”

“I didn’t expect you to hesitate like this. Are you saying you’re willing to let your precious sister marry the son of your enemy?”

“As I’ve told you many times, Your Highness, you are not our enemy. Even if my sister learns the truth, she will say the same.”

“That’s a baseless assumption.”

The Duke of Raymore, who always wore a faint, painted-on smile, now seemed precariously cornered. But after meeting someone he loved, he began to change. His heart softened.

The more this happened, the harsher Servante became with himself. He sharpened his focus, remained vigilant, and prepared meticulously, striving for flawless outcomes.

Everyone regarded him as a difficult yet exceptional Crown Prince. But the Duke, who had watched Servante grow increasingly tense over the years, saw things differently. Frowning, he asked Servante a pointed question.

“And what about you, Your Highness? Are you truly alright with losing my sister?”

“…What?”

“Can you sincerely bless her if she marries someone else and builds a family?”

“Is that even a question?”

“…Your Highness.”

The current Duke of Raymore, Tristan, who had inherited both the quiet strength of his father and the wisdom of his mother, smiled faintly.

“I have served you for fifteen years now, Your Highness. I can tell whether your words are true or not.”

“…”

“Speak to His Majesty and set a date for the wedding.”

“Duke.”

“Once again, I must emphasize that my sister does not wish to break off the engagement.”

Servante looked at Tristan with an expression of disbelief. Tristan, however, looked back at his lord with a gaze full of understanding yet unwavering resolve.

“I respect the life my sister has chosen. And…”

“…”

“Carnier is someone who takes responsibility for the decisions she makes.”

• I’ll raise her the same way. To take responsibility for you, to cherish and treasure you, Your Highness.

For the first time, Servante’s eyes wavered. Tristan quietly added.

“In addition, knowing the loyalty you’ve shown to our family and your future plans, I trust you, Your Highness.”

“……”

“So please, don’t bear this burden alone… and trust us a little more as well.”

As if to prove the saying “blood cannot be denied,” Servante pressed his palm against his forehead.

“It seems the saying is true….”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing.”

This conversation took place just one day before the royal wedding date was set.

This decision, made on that day, became something Servante deeply regretted and yet did not regret at all. The time left before the girl he had avoided and distanced himself from would truly become his wife was now only a few months.

‘……Before she enters this suffocating place, I’ll let her enjoy a bit of freedom. And…’

He resolved to finally reveal the secret he had been hiding all this time.

But even with that resolve, crossing the line he had drawn for so long was not easy. He still couldn’t hold Carnier’s gaze for long, and he blamed himself for the inappropriate feelings he harbored for her.

Several times a day, thoughts of Carnier sent his emotions into turmoil. Those unaware of the situation assumed the Crown Prince was simply overwhelmed by the workload leading up to his wedding. They weren’t entirely wrong.

Would she truly not resent me if she learned the truth? Would she not see all that had happened as deception?

He hesitated and hesitated, and in the end, said nothing until the wedding drew near. Even when he mustered the courage to visit her, he deflected the conversation to trivial matters like visiting the family graves.

He was consumed by self-loathing the entire way back.

‘Is this all I’m capable of?’

At one point, when he caught her as she stumbled while stepping out of the carriage, he nearly kissed her impulsively.

‘You fool. How could you even think such a thing?’

Yes, he was the promising heir to the throne, but this was his first experience with love.

Internally screaming, he buried himself in work upon returning, ignoring the silent cries of his overworked aides.

Then came the very next day. The line he couldn’t cross had been crossed by someone else.

“I want to experience romance before the royal wedding.”

“…Who?”

“…What?”

“And who, exactly, would the partner be?” 

‘Who is it?’

The thought of someone seducing his pure, kind, and lovely fiancée made his eyes gleam dangerously.

Carnier, noticing his reaction, gave him a look of disbelief.

“…Who else could it be, other than the person standing right in front of me?”

“……What?”

For a moment, he wondered if he had overworked himself into a hallucination.

This happened just ten days before their wedding.