As soon as those words ended, Nergal brought his face closer. Before she could process how much closer he was than before, his lips consumed Ir’s.

“…!”

Startled by the sudden action, Ir tried to push his chest away with both hands. However, as if he had anticipated this, Nergal caught both her hands with one of his, and with his other hand, he gripped the back of her neck and pressed his lips even more deeply against hers.

His soft lips pressed against hers almost painfully before his tongue parted them and entered. At first, he carefully traced her teeth as if knocking on a door, but soon his tongue explored her mouth as if it owned the place.

“Hng…”

It felt like lightning struck before her eyes at the foreign sensation of another’s body entering hers. While she was at a loss for what to do, their tongues intertwined. She could only follow his movements, not knowing what to do or how to do it, but strangely, her lower abdomen throbbed.

“Mm, mph…”

When she tried to separate their lips to breathe, Nergal’s lips would capture hers again. As if determined to steal even a single breath, Ir continued to share breaths with him, unable to find escape.

His tongue that had entered continued to move wildly. He would wrap around her tongue until it felt numb, and when she struggled, he would unwind and trace the soft membrane of her mouth as if giving her a moment’s rest. Her entire body shivered at his actions, as if he was determined to explore every corner.

In her increasingly dizzy mind, Ir recalled what her colleagues in the 9th Knight Order had discussed during training long ago.

A colleague who had finally shared her first kiss with a man she liked had pouted and grumbled.

“It wasn’t as good as I thought. I didn’t feel much… it was just boring.”

At that time, other female knights had nodded vigorously, saying they felt the same way. Seeing everyone agree without exception, Ir had thought that kissing wasn’t such a big deal. But now, what she was experiencing was completely different from what her colleagues had described.

It was difficult and breathtaking. But if asked whether she disliked it, she wasn’t confident she could immediately say yes.

Nergal explored her mouth like a man possessed. Every time he thrust deep into her mouth, Ir’s body trembled.

She couldn’t tell if this was due to her changed body’s sensitivity or because of his movements. What was certain was that she was incredibly vulnerable to this act.

The tip of his tongue tapped against Ir’s palate. The ticklish and tingling sensation made Ir open her mouth wider. Then, as if signaling another beginning, he thrust even deeper. His hands had somehow come to cup both her cheeks.

Nergal wouldn’t separate from her, almost as if he intended to devour her whole. Meanwhile, strange throbs spread throughout her body. Her arms holding his shoulders trembled, and her toes curled with tension. Though she repeatedly scratched the sheets with her raised toes, Nergal showed no sign of pulling away.

As this continued, she found it increasingly hard to breathe. She could feel her flickering vision gradually darkening.

‘Am I really going to die like this?’

Though she had never heard of anyone dying from a kiss, somehow this made it seem possible.

Ir raised her hands to hit Nergal’s shoulders. Though she thought she had hit him with all her strength, only weak tapping sounds could be heard, as if she were merely throwing a tantrum. Perhaps because of this, Nergal didn’t pull away and continued to explore Ir.

As her vision grew hazier, strength left her body. The hand that had been hitting his shoulder fell limply. Perhaps noticing this, Nergal finally separated their lips.

“Haa, haa…”

As soon as he pulled away, Ir desperately gasped for air. When Nergal released his hold on her face, Ir’s body slumped onto the bed. Though she knew it wasn’t proper behavior in front of him, she had no strength left to maintain her posture.

‘Is this what a kiss is?’

No matter how many times she tried to catch her breath, strength wouldn’t return to her body. It felt as if all her bones had disappeared, leaving her entire body feeling limp.

Though it was her first kiss in her life, Ir could tell. That Nergal was incredibly skilled at this.

As she panted a few more times, her scattered reason began to return. Watching Nergal lick his lips as if regretful, Ir mumbled.

“Why…”

“I told you. I want to have your body.”

“…Were you serious?”

“Of course. Did you think I wasn’t?”

“I thought if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t feel that way.”

The monster of the Imperial Palace. Wasn’t that what she was? Even though her appearance had changed, she thought that Nergal, who remembered her original form, would only keep her as a fake lover and nothing more.

“You used to be very wary of me too…”

Ir’s eyes gradually closed as she spoke. The physical struggle followed by the long kiss that had left her unable to breathe properly seemed to have pushed her weak body to its limit once again.

“I’m sorry, but if I could just rest a little…”

Ir couldn’t finish her sentence before her eyes closed completely. Nergal immediately caught her as she slumped. But Ir’s head lolled to the side, and her body went limp.

“Ir!”

Though Nergal called out to her, Ir didn’t respond. As he rose in panic to leave the room, she let out a deep breath while lying down. Nergal, who had been about to rush out, stopped at the sound and returned to check her breathing.

Regular breathing sounds could be heard. It was the breathing of someone in deep sleep.

“Haa…”

Nergal ran his hand over his face with a long sigh.

“You fool.”

He muttered to himself, regretting his actions from moments ago.

‘I got too excited.’

But it couldn’t be helped. How could he remain calm in this situation?

He reached out to fix Ir’s disheveled hair. The soft black hair wrapped around his fingers. When something he thought he would never touch again was in his hands, he felt something beyond joy, almost dizzying.

He brought a pillow and laid Ir’s body straight from her side position. Then he retrieved the blanket that had fallen during their struggle. Even though the room was warm enough to break a sweat, she would feel the chill lying without a blanket.

As he was about to cover Ir with the blanket, he paused to look at her sleeping form. The abundant hair flowing like waves, her delicate features, and her beautiful, voluptuous body without a single scar.

Nergal reached out toward the sleeping Ir. His trembling fingers carefully caressed her face.

He had recognized her as Ir the moment he saw her. He couldn’t help it. When she was young, he had countless times imagined what she would look like as time passed.

How she would look with long hair instead of the short cut she maintained for training, how much deeper those purple eyes would become that used to glare at him asking if he was bullying her again, how much more those arms and legs she used to boast were longer than her peers would grow. More often than she, who chattered about becoming an excellent knight when she grew up, he had thought about her future.

And he had forever lost the chance to see that future he had imagined.

Because of his mistake.

“Ir.”

The hand that had been touching her forehead traced her tightly closed eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered slightly as if ticklish, but her eyes didn’t open. Nergal felt regret at this sight. Remembering those purple eyes that had glared at him just moments ago, he felt a desperate yearning.

‘I wanted to see more.’

Just like long ago, she had said everything she needed to say without avoiding his gaze, even while flustered.

After leaving Levant and coming to the Empire, then entering the Imperial Palace, Ir wouldn’t look at him. It was natural. To her, he was just someone she had briefly known in childhood. Within the Imperial Palace, he was just an annoying superior who called her out to harass her, someone she didn’t want to see.

That’s why whenever he called her to his office, Ir would avoid his gaze and look into the distance or at the floor. In the past, their eyes might have met a few times, allowing him to see her eyes. But after the burn, that became impossible.

Nergal’s hand moved again, brushing against her slightly swollen lips. Then it moved down, grazing her neck and caressing her shoulder.

Nergal remembered every scar that had been there. The arms and legs of uneven length, the arm that had been damaged to the bone while blocking a burning pillar, the broken leg that doctors said would never hold a sword or even walk again.

Though she hadn’t died, all those scars that made onlookers mutter that death might have been better.

He had to remember.

Because all of it had happened because of him.

Nergal covered Ir with the blanket and embraced her.

He could feel her warm body and hear her peaceful sleeping breaths. Long ago, when he had secretly entered her hospital room while she was unconscious, he had touched her very carefully.

With just the slight touch of one finger, Ir had screamed in agony, unable to even breathe. After that, Nergal never touched Ir again.

‘I thought I would never be able to touch her again…’

Nergal’s eyes flashed as he held Ir. Whether it was the power of the Holy Sword or some other wicked force, he didn’t care.

He had no intention of letting go of what he had finally regained, even if it meant death.