3. Divergence (Part 3)

As she struggled to find the right words, Ethan strode over and stood in front of her. In the end, the two of them remained standing, separated only by her desk, as they faced each other.  

Leaning on the desk for support, Cecilia straightened her posture and spoke. It seemed better to address the matter openly rather than let it linger unspoken.  

“I’m sorry for avoiding you without saying anything. I just needed some time to sort out my thoughts. And I’ve been busy with work.”  

She added the excuse about work, though in truth, all she’d done today was think about him.  

But Ethan, without a hint of suspicion, nodded. He placed one hand lightly on the desk, his expression tinged with guilt.  

‘Ah…’  

Cecilia’s gaze fell on the veins protruding from the back of his hand. His large, rugged hands bore the calluses of a life hard-lived, a testament to his perseverance and determination.  

Cecilia now knew how firm his hands were, and how hot they could become. The sensation of his thick fingers smoothly slipping into her tightly closed space, the feeling of them dragging along her wet inner walls as they withdrew, and the lightning-like pleasure that struck whenever he pressed and rubbed against her swollen, sensitive flesh.  

Just the sight of his hands was enough to make her thighs tense involuntarily. Feeling ashamed of herself, Cecilia bit down hard on the tender flesh inside her mouth.  

It was then.  

“How’s your body?”  

Ethan’s sudden voice startled Cecilia, and she looked up. Their gazes met mid-air, and Ethan’s eyes sparkled like transparent jewels as they caught the light. He continued speaking.  

“I wanted to ask if you’re alright. I might have been too…”  

Cecilia’s eyes widened slightly, and she quickly interrupted him.  

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired.”  

“Ah, that’s a relief.”  

The stiffness that had just moments ago been etched into Ethan’s face instantly melted away. A wave of relief spread across his kind, handsome features like a splash of watercolor. Cecilia could easily imagine how he must have worried himself sick before knocking on her door.  

That earnest sincerity tickled Cecilia’s heart. The contrast between his perfectly sculpted exterior and his still-innocent, unpolished interior was irresistibly charming—enough to make her want to claim him for herself.  

‘Don’t waver. This isn’t a relationship that can work anyway.’  

Cecilia steeled herself, pressing her tightly closed lips together. If only Ethan had been a slightly less good person, or if the way he looked at her had been just a little less warm, it might have been easier. She could have focused solely on the fleeting attraction of the moment without considering his feelings.  

‘Starting a relationship with no promise of a future would be irresponsible.’  

Taking a deep breath, Cecilia opened her mouth to speak.  

“Ethan.”  

Ethan responded immediately, as though he had been waiting.  

“Yes.”  

“About what happened yesterday… I think we should both forget it.”  

A heavy silence filled the room as Cecilia’s words hung in the air. She lowered her eyelashes to avoid Ethan’s gaze and continued in a calm voice.  

“I’d like you to think of it as a one-night mistake. We were both drunk, and I think I provoked you unnecessarily with my questions. I’m really sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”  

“…”  

Ethan didn’t respond for a long time. The veins on the back of his hand, which rested on the desk, stood out prominently. After a moment, he finally spoke.  

“Are you asking me to leave?”  

His low voice trembled faintly.  

‘Asking him to leave?’  

Cecilia’s eyes widened in surprise at his unexpected reaction. She shook her head as she looked at him.  

“That’s not it. If you feel uncomfortable, you’re free to leave anytime, but I didn’t bring this up because I want you to leave.”  

Though Cecilia denied it immediately, Ethan didn’t seem convinced. He appeared to be trying his best to maintain a neutral expression, but his brows gradually furrowed, and the corners of his eyes turned slightly red.  

Cecilia, at a loss, opened her mouth but couldn’t find the right words. She hadn’t intended to drive him away, but it seemed she had been misunderstood.  

“It’s true. Both Merilyn and Violet like you…”  

But Ethan cut her off.  

“What I want to know is how you feel, Cecilia.”  

Ethan’s gaze was serious as he looked at her. His voice was low but firm as he spoke.  

“I want you to be honest with me.”  

“Honestly…”  

Cecilia let out a sigh, clearly troubled. After a brief pause, she nodded slightly and replied.  

“To be honest, seeing you now feels a little awkward. It’s a bit embarrassing, too.”  

“…”  

“But I don’t dislike you or find you unbearably uncomfortable. I just need time to get back to how I used to treat you.”  

Cecilia revealed her feelings to Ethan to a certain extent. While she hid the fact that she was drawn to him, everything she said was entirely sincere.  

Ethan, who had been staring intently into her eyes, seemed to sense her honesty. He let out a sigh of relief, and the anxious tension in his expression eased considerably. Retracting his hand from the desk, he responded.  

“Then I’d like to stay longer.”  

“That’s a good decision.”  

“And…”  

Ethan paused briefly to collect his thoughts. Fixing his gaze on Cecilia’s composed face, he clenched his fists tightly and continued.  

“If you’re asking me to forget, I’ll try to do so. I’ll think of it as something that never happened. I made a promise, after all.”  

Cecilia nodded slowly, relieved. Though she felt a slight pang of regret, she feigned ignorance and lifted the corners of her lips into a faint smile.  

“Thank you for saying that.”  

Just as Cecilia thought the conversation had ended, Ethan spoke again. His voice was quiet but resolute.  

“But it wasn’t a mistake. I hope you understand that.”  

“Ethan.”  

“I’ve wanted you all along, and it was an incredible, overwhelming experience for me. So… I won’t accept your apology.”  

Ethan’s words were unwavering and firm. For the first time, the usually mild-mannered and compliant Ethan had spoken with stubborn conviction. Though his tone remained polite, there was an undeniable weight to his words that made it impossible to dismiss them.  

“…Alright.”  

When Cecilia nodded, Ethan’s lips curved into a faint, relaxed smile for a brief moment. She felt her body heat up inexplicably and gave him an awkward smile in return. 

After offering a formal bow, Ethan turned to leave the room but paused as though remembering something.  

“Ah.”  

Still facing away, he turned his head slightly and spoke.  

“Don’t skip dinner tonight. I plan to eat something simple outside.”  

Cecilia immediately realized that he was being considerate of her. He was worried she might skip another meal to avoid him.  

As the door closed quietly behind him, Cecilia sank into her chair, feeling as though her legs had given out. Though their conversation hadn’t been particularly long, she felt utterly drained.  

‘It’s fine. Everything’s fine now.’  

***

So, two weeks passed. Although it was still slightly awkward for them to face each other, outwardly, the time seemed to flow without major issues.  

After Ethan skipped a few meals, Cecilia no longer avoided him. She didn’t want Ethan to endure discomfort because of her. As a result, the two began sitting across from each other during meals, engaging in casual conversations like before. The youngest, Violet, chattered away brightly, lightening the atmosphere more than expected.  

Finishing her meal faster than usual, Violet approached Ethan, shaking his shoulder as she spoke.  

“Ethan, do you remember what you promised me today? You said you’d carve me a wooden sword!”  

“I remember. I’ll head to the fountain area in a bit. Let me finish my meal first.”  

Ethan responded warmly with a smile. The two had grown much closer, and their conversation was relaxed and easygoing.  

“Then I’ll go ahead and wait for you! Come quickly!”  

With a burst of laughter, Violet left the room first. Now alone in the dining room with Ethan, Cecilia asked,  

“A wooden sword?”  

Cecilia murmured softly. Sensing her curiosity, Ethan quickly added a brief explanation.  

“It’s about carving wood into a palm-sized sword. Just a small hobby of mine.”  

Cecilia’s light blue eyes sparkled with curiosity at this new side of him she hadn’t known before.  

“You must be skilled with your hands. When did you learn it?”  

“I picked it up during my free time in the military. My skills aren’t exceptional, but it seems fascinating to Vivi.”  

‘So, he calls her Vivi.’  

Cecilia nodded slowly with a peculiar expression. She absentmindedly poked at her remaining dessert with her fork. At that moment, she noticed Ethan sitting quietly, watching her.  

‘Is he staying seated because it would be impolite to leave first?’  

Cecilia looked at Ethan and spoke.  

“You can leave if you’d like. I usually enjoy eating breakfast alone at a leisurely pace.”  

But Ethan quickly picked up the spoon placed on the table and replied,  

“I’m still eating.”  

Cecilia’s eyes narrowed slightly as she glanced at the plates in front of him.  

“It looks like you’ve finished eating.”  

“There’s still a little left.”  

However, aside from the garnish, Ethan’s plate was completely clean. Anyone could see that he was done with his meal. Cecilia raised an eyebrow and remarked,  

“Vivi will be waiting.”  

Ethan smiled silently, his eyes crinkling in amusement.  

“I apologize, but I don’t want to give up my meal time.”  

A flush of heat rushed to Cecilia’s face. For some reason, Ethan’s words sounded as though he didn’t want to give up his time spent with her to anyone else.  

To hide her reaction, Cecilia quickly lowered her gaze. She scooped up a small piece of the cake she had been mashing with her fork and placed it in her mouth. It was so sweet it stung her tongue.  

Ethan’s gaze lingered on her face frequently and for long periods. At some point, he even put down his cutlery, simply watching her. She could feel him smiling slightly each time she brought food to her lips.  

‘Is he going through a late adolescence or something?’  

Cecilia tried to maintain her composure as she forced herself to finish the food on her plate. At some point, she couldn’t even taste the food anymore.  

After finishing their meal in this peculiar atmosphere, the two stood up from the table together. As soon as they left the dining room, Cecilia’s eyes met those of the butler waiting in the hallway. He was holding two envelopes in his hands.  

“Madam.”  

From the butler’s apologetic gaze alone, Cecilia could tell that the envelopes contained invitations to social events. She sighed deeply as she took them.  

“I was enjoying the lack of such schedules for a while. Alright, thank you for delivering them.”  

Cecilia briefly examined the seals on the envelopes. One was from the royal palace, and the other was from the Earl of Wessex. On the latter, she could see the signature written in black ink: ‘Matthias Philip Wessex.’ It was likely an invitation to attend a royal banquet as his partner.  

For a moment, Cecilia felt as though she had been abruptly thrown back into reality. The giddy feelings of a teenage girl experiencing her first flutter of excitement vanished, and she was once again a young head of a household burdened with countless responsibilities.  

‘Ah, Ethan.’  

Cecilia suddenly realized that Ethan was still standing beside her. She quickly flipped Matthias’s letter over to hide it and looked up to meet Ethan’s eyes. An awkward smile appeared on her face.  

“Well… I’ll see you later at dinner.”  

“Yes, understood.”  

After exchanging a brief nod, Ethan walked past her. His expression remained as composed as ever. Watching his tall figure retreat, Cecilia wondered whether he had seen Matthias’s signature, whether he hadn’t noticed it, whether he had seen it but didn’t care, or whether he didn’t even know who Matthias was. She quickly realized it was a pointless train of thought and shook her head.  

‘I need to focus more on Merilyn. And though it’s unpleasant, I also need to pay attention to Matthias.’  

This social season marked Merilyn’s debutante. Cecilia, standing in for her late mother, had to fulfill her role as Merilyn’s guardian perfectly. Since it was a once-in-a-lifetime event, she wanted to ensure that nothing was lacking.  

‘Get it together.’  

Cecilia turned away from Ethan and started walking. Her footsteps echoed forlornly in the hallway.