6. The End of a Short Summer (Part 2)

Cecilia turned her head, meeting Ethan’s gaze. She asked, 

“Do you remember the night of the ball?”  

How could he forget? Without hesitation, Ethan replied, 

“Yes, I remember.”  

“That night, I felt strangely melancholic, but at the time, I didn’t know why.”  

“Do you understand now?”  

Cecilia slowly nodded.  

“Embarrassingly, I think I was envious of Merilyn.”  

“……”  

“Seeing Merilyn smiling so brightly while dancing with Lawrence… she looked so free. So radiant and lovely. In that moment, she felt so far away from me, like a completely different person.”  

Cecilia’s voice trembled slightly at the end.  

“I always say that it’s enough for others to be happy… but I don’t even know why I felt such a sense of loss so belatedly.”  

At that moment, a warm sensation touched Cecilia’s hand, which had been lying idly on the grass. Ethan had placed his hand over hers, intertwining his fingers with hers as if they were puzzle pieces fitting together.  

“That’s perfectly natural.” 

“……”  

“Everyone wants to be happy.”  

Ethan gripped Cecilia’s hand a little tighter, enough for her to feel the firm pressure. Heat radiated from their tightly joined hands, almost enough to make them sweat.  

“There’s nothing strange about it. It’s a natural feeling.”  

Cecilia’s eyes quivered slightly. From the firm grip of his hand to the unwavering intensity in his gaze, she could feel Ethan’s sincerity.  

“I understand your sense of responsibility, and I respect everything you’ve managed to protect on your own… but sometimes, I worry about you. You can call it unwarranted meddling if you like, and I’ll accept that criticism, but this is how I truly feel.”  

Ethan’s gaze carried a vivid intensity as he asked in a serious tone, 

“Cecilia, are you happy?”  

‘Happy?’  

Cecilia’s mind went blank. It was such a simple question, one that could be answered with a nod or a shake of her head, yet it felt like the hardest question in the world. In the end, she didn’t respond and simply closed her eyes.  

As Ethan loosened his grip on her hand, he whispered softly, 

“I hope you can find peace. More than anyone else, I want you to be happy, Cecilia.”  

Ethan leaned down, brushing his lips gently against hers. The kiss, soft and comforting like an embrace, made Cecilia slowly open her eyes.  

When he pulled away, Ethan gazed quietly into Cecilia’s blue eyes. They shone like the most dazzling ocean he had ever seen. He felt as though he could stare into them all day without growing tired.  

Despite having traveled far and wide, capturing the beauty of countless places with his eyes, Ethan always felt a sense of wonder when he looked at Cecilia. To him, she was proof of the divine. Such perfection couldn’t possibly be a mere coincidence.  

“To me, the person who shines the brightest… the one who occupies my thoughts so much that I lose sleep, and who makes me rise early just to see her a little sooner… is always you.”  

Ethan knew the name of this feeling. Gently caressing Cecilia’s cheek, he spoke as if entranced.  

“I love you.”  

***

Late at night, when everyone else was asleep, Cecilia remained at her desk. She held a few letters in her hand, but her gaze was lost in the void.  

Ethan had confessed his love to her. Cecilia, however, had given him no response. Ethan hadn’t expected an answer, so he didn’t seem to mind, but Cecilia found it harder to face him.  

It would be a lie to say she hadn’t known. His feelings for her had been unmistakably clear, leaving no room for doubt. While the depth of his love, as conveyed through his words, was greater than she had anticipated, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. After all, how could emotions not grow when they had shared so many trivial stories and exchanged warmth?  

‘I didn’t dislike his words. In fact, they filled my heart… but…’  

Cecilia’s eyes fell on the date written at the bottom of the letter. The day Ethan was set to leave was fast approaching. Absentmindedly tapping her desk with her fingernails, she accidentally scratched the wooden surface. Her once-smooth nails had chipped.  

‘I… I don’t have the courage to accept his feelings.’

Ethan was the best person Cecilia had ever known. He was incredibly intelligent and always honest in everything he did. By nature, he was kind, but he always maintained the appropriate boundaries.

If Merilyn had brought him along, or if Violet had grown up and met someone like him, Cecilia would have given her approval without hesitation. For a while, society would have buzzed with gossip about the two of them, but she would have firmly dismissed such trivialities as unworthy of attention.

‘But can I really do that?’

If Cecilia were to be with Ethan, it would be considered a marriage between different classes. The issue of succession could be resolved with Merilyn or Violet. However, in a society that frowned upon marriages between nobles and commoners, her choice could bring harm to both Merilyn and Violet. This was what Cecilia was most concerned about.

Rustle.

The paper in Cecilia’s hand crinkled slightly. It was something formally sent from the Wessex family this evening. It was both a proposal and an apology letter for what had happened at the ball.

「…Even now, I know you won’t believe me if I say it wasn’t sincere. But Cecilia, I truly didn’t mean to belittle you with what I said.

To be completely honest, I think I was somewhat angry with you. You must already know that I’ve had feelings for you for a long time. No matter how I tried to express it, you never responded, and that made my words harsher. Only then would you look me straight in the eye.

I know. It was foolish. The more I write, the more ashamed I feel about my arrogance. I want to crumple this letter and throw it away right now.

But I’m sending this embarrassing letter anyway because I want you to at least know that my apology is sincere. I hope you won’t be hurt any further by the stupid things I said.

Cecilia, please give me one more chance to make it right. I’m always striving to be the best choice for you.」

It wasn’t flawless, but it was the most honest thing Cecilia had ever heard from Matthias. For the first time, she felt he was just an ordinary person like herself. With a sigh, Cecilia let the letter fall onto the desk.

“Haah.”

She rubbed her throbbing forehead and lowered her head. Her mind was a tangled mess.

If this had been before she met Ethan, she might have wavered. This wasn’t the worst, was it? After all, people are all similar, so it wouldn’t be much different no matter who she ended up with. Perhaps they could even remain in a not-so-bad relationship. Rationalizing like that, she might have taken Matthias’s hand.

‘But then Ethan appeared.’

He came with the summer and showed her what love truly was. What the warmth of love felt like. What fragrance love carried, and what taste it had. What sound love made when it reached its peak.

If one doesn’t know something, its absence isn’t painful. Just as one wouldn’t desperately desire an unknown, unseen, or unheard thing, one can live without love if they don’t know what it is.

But now, Cecilia had come to understand love, even if only faintly. She realized that among a crowd of seemingly similar people, there could be one special person. That a fleeting encounter could completely change the course of one’s life. And that the possibility of ‘it might not be so bad’ was far from enough to choose a life partner. She now understood all of this.

The cool night air brushed against her skin. She thought to herself, 

Autumn has arrived. 

The season of love was coming to an end.