6.2

The next day, Delia mustered the courage to seek out Kartan first.  

Because she now had her own private room, Kartan had moved to a shared room with his roommate just the day before.  

When he stepped out of his room, she glanced inside and was relieved to see that his roommate, Henry, wasn’t there.  

“Um, Kartan.”  

“What?”  

Delia faced Kartan, who looked at her with a neutral expression.  

His indifferent gaze made her nervous.  

Had he always looked at her like this? No, he hadn’t. Kartan had never shown her such a detached attitude before.  

Struggling to calm the chaos in her mind, Delia finally managed to speak.  

“Why haven’t you been calling me anymore?”  

“…What are you talking about?”  

Kartan’s response was one of genuine confusion.  

Delia was at a loss for words.  

His attitude made it seem as though he was pretending not to know anything about what had happened between them.  

Having already struggled to bring up the topic, Delia couldn’t just turn around and leave.  

Summoning every last bit of courage, she added, her voice growing quieter,  

“Why haven’t we… done it lately?”  

“Is that what you’re curious about?”  

“Of course! What if you suddenly change your mind and decide to take first place—”  

“No.”  

Before Delia could finish her flustered rambling, Kartan interrupted her firmly.  

“I’ll keep my promise. You’ll stay first.”  

“Oh? Then, does that mean we’ll…”  

“Let’s stop.”  

Kartan’s voice was cold and resolute.  

“What?”  

“I’m saying I won’t sleep with you anymore. Not with you.”  

Delia’s eyes widened in shock.  

She had imagined this moment in her head, had even expected it to happen someday.  

But hearing those words come out of Kartan’s mouth felt entirely different.  

It weighed on her chest like a heavy stone.  

It was as if cold water was being poured over her head, endlessly.  

“Oh… I see.”  

But all Delia could do was nod and say she understood.  

Their relationship had always been like a ship with Kartan as the captain.  

If he told her to disembark, she had no choice but to comply.  

She couldn’t say she didn’t want to, or ask him to reconsider.  

“…Alright.”  

In the end, that was all Delia could say.  

Pathetically.  

Meanwhile, Kartan observed her expression.  

‘What’s with her? Why is she acting like this?’  

Kartan had expected Delia to be happy, to smile.  

Surely, she would be glad.  

But the woman in front of him didn’t seem pleased at all.  

‘She must be worried I won’t keep my promise.’  

Still, Kartan thought her reaction was understandable.  

She was probably anxious about this sudden change, fearing he might go back on his word and take first place for himself.  

“Don’t worry. First place will still be yours.”  

So Kartan tried to reassure her.  

“You should go now. My roommate will be back soon, and it’d be awkward if he overheard this conversation.”  

He wanted to send her away quickly, thinking it was for her own good.  

“…Okay. I’ll go.”  

As he watched Delia walk away with heavy steps, Kartan felt uneasy but concluded that this was for the best.  

Delia might feel anxious for now, since their arrangement hadn’t been fully carried out.  

But eventually, when the semester ended and she was still first, she would realize he hadn’t lied.  

In truth, Kartan could have continued their arrangement until all ten times were completed.  

But he didn’t want to anymore.  

The remaining four times would only bring her pain.  

‘How much pain have I already caused her?’  

If he were honest, he still wanted to hold her, to bury himself in her soft body.  

But…  

Would Delia truly want that?  

After all, she had only spread her legs for him because he had pressured her into it.  

Looking back, it was clear how much she must despise him.  

‘I have no choice.’  

This was the right decision—for her and for himself.  

He hated the way he was changing, and he knew that with distance, his feelings would fade.  

‘These emotions are just temporary.’  

Over the past few days, Kartan had come to understand why he felt this way whenever he saw Delia.  

Why she occupied his thoughts so much.  

It was because Kartan Roxen wanted Delia Acremen.  

Not just her body, but her heart as well.  

He wanted to possess everything about her.  

He didn’t know when it started or why it had happened.  

It was the first time in his life he had felt this way.  

Realizing his feelings—that he could feel this way about someone—was shocking.  

At first, he thought it was just selfishness, wanting to take something his brother desired.  

But now, Delia Acremen had become someone he couldn’t stop thinking about.  

‘It’s better to end things before they get more complicated.’  

And so, he chose to distance himself from Delia.  

If she stayed in front of him, nothing good would come of it.  

Time would heal everything, and things would return to normal.  

***

It was a dark, gloomy night.  

Even though the entire world had been swallowed by darkness, Delia, now using a private room on her own, found herself unable to sleep.  

Her sleeplessness wasn’t due to the awkwardness of being alone in her room or the longing for her former roommate.  

‘Why did he say he wouldn’t do it anymore?’  

Once again, it was because of Kartan Roxen.  

Her mind was in turmoil over the abrupt notice he had given her earlier in the day.  

She couldn’t understand why he had suddenly decided to stop.  

No matter how much she thought about it or retraced her steps, she couldn’t pinpoint any reason for it.  

‘He is unpredictable, but still…’  

After much deliberation, Delia’s conclusion was simply, “Kartan’s whim.” There was no other explanation she could come up with.  

But if that was truly the reason,  

“…That’s a bit much.”  

Her inner thoughts slipped out as words. She pitied herself.  

She felt pathetic for being dragged around in a relationship that began so easily and ended just as easily on a whim.  

Expecting too much, seeking comfort, and feeling fluttery—all of it seemed foolish.  

Just like when she first joined the Acremen Family and felt excited and happy, only to end up abandoned.  

It was the same this time.  

‘How miserable.’  

Of course, Delia had gained something from her arrangement with Kartan. Without him, she would probably never have been able to maintain her position as first in class.  

However, the fact that both the beginning and the end of their arrangement were entirely decided by Kartan made her feel utterly wretched.  

“I hate this. Really.”  

Delia hated herself.  

She hated how she couldn’t push Kartan out of her mind, even in this situation.  

Just like how she clung to her family’s approval and to being first in class, despite already being abandoned by them.  

Even now, she was still obsessing over her grades.  

In the end, nothing had changed.  

Delia asked herself,  

If he were to suddenly suggest resuming our arrangement, would I be able to refuse?  

‘…I wouldn’t.’  

But the real problem was that she didn’t even know why she felt this way.  

Her restless mind refused to settle, no matter how much she tossed and turned.  

And so, Delia spent several nights tossing and turning, unable to sleep properly.  

Several days passed like this.  

It truly felt as though Kartan Roxen had disappeared from Delia’s life at the academy.  

It was as if they had gone back to the time before their arrangement, when there wasn’t a single connection between them.  

No, it was even worse than that—Kartan seemed to be actively avoiding her.  

‘This is for the best. Let’s think of it that way.’  

Even as she experienced this unfamiliar sense of detachment, Delia tried to force herself to think positively.  

Not seeing him was better. Things would surely get better with time.  

But the problem was that, as time passed, she didn’t feel any better.  

It had already been several days, yet Kartan occupied her thoughts more and more each day.  

Even today. As she walked through the hallway with Viola on their way to the lecture hall, she found herself glancing around, wondering if Kartan might pass by.  

‘Why am I like this? Please, stop…’  

While Delia was silently scolding herself, Viola spoke up.  

“Delia, you don’t seem to meet up with Kartan much these days, huh?”  

“W-what?”  

Hearing his name startled Delia. Viola, seemingly unaware of her reaction, continued speaking casually.  

“Well, you were hanging out with Kartan during the festival, so I thought maybe you two were dating.”  

“Dating? Me? With Kartan? T-that’s impossible.”  

Denial spilled from Delia’s lips instinctively.  

“Hmm, really?”  

Viola’s voice carried a hint of curiosity as she looked at Delia.  

Delia suddenly had a thought.  

What if I asked Viola about my situation?  

“Um, Viola.”  

This might be her chance to resolve her confusion. After all, she hadn’t been able to sleep properly for days.  

“Yeah?”  

“I have something I’m curious about. Can I ask you?”  

“Of course! What is it? I’m so curious since it’s you asking me a question, Delia.”  

Viola’s eyes sparkled with interest.  

“Well…”  

Delia wanted to ask why Kartan wouldn’t leave her thoughts, why she was feeling this way.  

But after Viola’s comment about them possibly dating, she couldn’t bring herself to mention Kartan’s name.  

“What does it mean if someone keeps coming to mind?”  

So instead, she asked in a roundabout way.  

“Oh my, did you do something wrong to that person?”  

“Ah, no, that’s not it.”  

“Then did they do something you didn’t like?”  

Something I didn’t like…  

Was the arrangement with Kartan, and the physical intimacy it involved, something I hated?  

No, it wasn’t.  

The memories of those moments briefly flashed through her mind, causing her to pause, but Delia quickly shook her head.  

“Hmm… That’s not it either.”  

If anything, it had been consensual, and she hadn’t disliked it.  

“Then there’s only one explanation.”  

Viola clapped her hands together with a loud smack, as if she had solved a mystery.  

“Huh? What is it?”  

“You like that person.”  

Viola’s confident answer left Delia stunned.