Chapter 21

“Why on earth did I do that?”

Kalik performed acrobatics on the running horse. Twisting his upper body this way and that without holding the reins, clutching his head.

Dawson, riding alongside, frowned, more concerned about knowing what led to this rather than the fear of him falling. It was the instinct that something had happened without his knowledge.

“Are you okay?”

He called Kalik, who was muttering repeatedly. Kalik, who was saying, “Why did I do that, what’s the reason, why, was I bewitched,” suddenly raised his head and spoke.

“Ha… why did I really do that?”

“….”

In the end, Dawson decided to keep his mouth shut until Kalik wanted to speak on his own. He thought that might be the best approach. After all, pressing someone who has just regained their memory for answers would only add to the confusion. He needed to remain steady. Lily seemed to have already given up her duties for the sake of amusement.

When he heard about the business trip, his heart sank more than he was surprised. He was flustered, thinking there was a schedule he hadn’t managed.

However, the moment he heard Kalik say “I’m back,” his entire body froze with a chill. It felt like facing a natural disaster that could overturn the tide of a suffocating war.

A paradoxical feeling of inevitability and why it had to be now.

Dawson felt a subtle sensation from himself as he received the news of Kalik regaining his memory. Not that he disliked it. It was natural, wasn’t it? Everything was just returning to its place.

Yet, the discomfort lingered. It seemed the impression left by the amnesia was more significant than he thought.

“Where have you decided on for the business trip?”

“That needs to be decided after seeing the situation.”

“So you really made it up on the spot.”

Dawson matched Kalik’s pace, waiting for him to explain. There were parts he couldn’t understand just from hearing that his memory had returned, requiring a direct explanation and clarification.

In that sense, a long-term business trip was quite a clever move. It allowed time to distance and devise countermeasures.

However, looking at Kalik’s attitude now, it seemed like there was another problem besides amnesia. It was unclear whether his regret was about spending the night with Marie or not verifying her lie.

Dawson thought retreat was the right choice, so it seemed the issue was with the part about spending the night. When a man and woman are attracted to each other, they can share love under the influence of the atmosphere for a night. If it’s the first time, it might be different. No, even if it’s not the first time, worrying this much seems like an unexpected farce.

Dawson gently offered comfort and advice.

“Just don’t do it again. Consider what happened yesterday as the first and last.”

“…What?”

Kalik, who was clutching his head, turned. He seemed to be asking back as if he didn’t understand Dawson’s words.

“Aren’t you regretting spending the night together?”

“Mm? Me?”

“Yes. You kept saying, ‘Why did I do that?'”

“Ah.”

Does it look that way? 

The latter part of his words was drowned out by the sound of the wind.

But Kalik’s regret wasn’t about the night or the trip. What happened last night occurred during his amnesia. In other words, it was an irresistible event. The business trip was an excellent opportunity to think calmly about this situation from a distance.

The regretful issue was not understanding why he flirted with her even after regaining his memory.

Her chest was quite large, and her appearance was to his liking, but why?

Having experienced it, she was a cute and sweet woman, but why?

Even if they were incredibly compatible, but why…?

“Ugh….”

Looking back, there were countless reasons. Even if he pretended to examine entirely different aspects, he couldn’t find a single flaw in Marie. Things typically considered shortcomings became acceptable because they were hers.

And Kalik vaguely knew the reason. Because… it wasn’t because of the lie that he loved her in the first place.

Not that he intended to say he loved her from the beginning, either.

Kalik’s weakness for Marie was quite complex, but the main reasons were the impression he received at their first meeting and the character of Marie Odillia he experienced over three years.

He felt a sense of affinity when he formally met Marie before marriage. If he had fallen for her at first sight, he wouldn’t have had to make excuses for himself like this.

His fondness stemmed from the sense of kinship her attitude gave, as if she didn’t care about the enmity between their families. He thought, perhaps, if it were this woman, she might work with him to end the long-standing conflict. This thought made him feel close to her.

Her appearance being to his taste was a fortunate coincidence. Life with her would undoubtedly be meaningful and happy. No matter how long it took, if they worked together, they could resolve the bitterness.

This expectation and determination crumbled after marriage.

Unlike Kalik, who was motivated by the belief that this ceremony would be a bridgehead of friendship, Marie was indifferent. She genuinely had no ‘interest.’ Though she didn’t follow her father Albrecht’s grudge, she wasn’t trying to reconcile with Escael either, just being swept along by the flow.

Fondness vanished in an instant. The expectations he had made were quickly tainted with betrayal.

Then, when he lost his memory due to the horse-riding accident, it seemed that his affection was rekindled because of Marie’s lie.

However, even after recalling all this, his actions after regaining his memory were difficult to explain. He didn’t know why he kissed her even after knowing about Marie’s lie, nor why he stopped her from confessing.

More importantly, even now, knowing she was the woman who deceived him, he was going crazy with how lovable Marie was.

“Dawson….”

“Yes.”

Dawson, finally called by Kalik, answered with fervor.

Faced with that sincerity, Kalik licked his lips, slightly flustered. He needed to say something that met those expectations, but his current feelings were entirely the opposite.

“Just because I regained my memory doesn’t mean my thoughts change, right?”

“In my opinion… thoughts might change.”

“Really?”

“Wouldn’t the criteria for judgment change if knowledge or memory is added?”

“Would emotions be the same?”

In this case, he meant whether the love he had would immediately cool if this were established. If it did, Kalik would just be a fool in love, but if it didn’t, he could console himself as normal.

Dawson tilted his head as if asking why he was asking something so obvious.

“Wouldn’t emotions be the same?”

“Change, you mean?”

“Of course. There have been tragedies where someone fell in love without knowing they were the enemy who killed their parents, only to part ways upon learning the truth.”

Even so, they weren’t enemies. 

Kalik mumbled, catching the end of the sentence.

“Even if they learn the truth, they don’t just flip their hand and say, ‘The enemy of my parents!’ right? They go through conflict, like falling into despair or agony.”

“Yes.”

“Right? Isn’t that correct?”

“So in romantic dramas on such topics, the protagonist distances themselves and ponders separation after learning the truth. That’s the highlight.”

Considering separation while distancing.

Those were things he hadn’t done at all. He had monologued plenty. Only monologued.

“Ha.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m going crazy. Really.”

Dawson clammed up with a complicated expression when Kalik used an unfamiliar expression. The Kalik Escael he knew was a man who spoke softly and indirectly. Expressions like “I’m going crazy” or “I’m going mad” were unimaginable coming from him until now.

“Let’s talk when we get there. Talking on horseback makes me feel sick.”

“Yes. Anyway, I’m glad you’re back.”

“I was always there.”

Afterward, the two men urged their horses. The road to the castle seemed unusually long today. It felt like they had been riding for hours.

He couldn’t entirely blame Marie. No matter how powerful the lie, it couldn’t turn a tiny speck of fondness into love.

Something aided her. Whether it was the situation or someone. And suddenly, he was led back to that point.

Come to think of it, wasn’t there another person responsible for this situation?

That was the person who tangled the truth before Marie.

The maid with incredible strength, Lily.

* * *

Viola, who was nearing her 60th birthday, threatened not to receive her birthday feast unless this problem was solved. Of course, only in her mind.

She pondered for many days. How to accept her son’s sudden change. Her husband did not share in this concern. Understandably, Peter had a very lukewarm attitude, suggesting they let them handle it themselves, so she couldn’t seek his cooperation. Whether they divorced or continued their tedious marriage, everything was their choice.

So Viola decided to rely on someone who knew the entire situation. Someone among Kalik and Marie’s acquaintances who would tell her everything they knew obediently.

“Madam, it’s Lily!”

Lily knocked on the door with her characteristic playful tone. After sending out the maids in the inner chamber, Viola seated Lily at the innermost spot. It was an attempt to lower her guard with hospitality and make it difficult for her to escape.

She chose to call Lily instead of Dawson purely because Lily talked more than Dawson. The frequency of her slips of the tongue was also higher, but for this matter, she intended to rely on Lily’s unfiltered eyewitness account rather than her slips.

She had considered calling Marie to match what her son had said, but if the current situation was due to Marie’s influence, she thought she wouldn’t get a proper answer from her.