Whose Child Belongs to the Emperor - Chapter 8 - Part 6

Chapter 8 – Part 6

There were people wandering in unfamiliar lands.

Living as eternal strangers, stepping on unfamiliar lands they had never visited before.

Belonging to no one and protected by no one, they had the greatest freedom and the greatest risk of all.

“We need to leave soon, Tasha. It might rain tonight.”

“Oh, really?”

Tasha looked up, observing the sky. It seemed like the weather was clearing up a bit, but winter rain seemed imminent.

However, she only glanced at the ship that had arrived at the pier and remained standing there, lost in thought.

Toto tapped her shoulder.

“Why? Are you feeling reluctant now that it’s time to go?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you miss your ex-husband all of a sudden?”

“I thought I told you I’d shoot anyone who brings up that jerk.”

Tasha spoke casually, but her gaze remained fixed on the direction of the white sandy beach.

Toto chuckled.

“Or do you just want to settle down? Is age finally catching up with you?”

“The only time a Patrona stops moving is when they find a grave.”

Tasha replied briefly. Toto let out a light laugh.

For a Patrona who roamed the forest, settling in one place usually fell into two cases. First, they temporarily settled when seriously injured or when they had a child until their bodies recovered. Second, they sought a place to face death as they grew older.

Tasha was an exception, of course, who had fallen madly in love and settled down with a man.

“Are you thinking about the daughter you left behind?”

Toto asked. Tasha did not deny it, a short sigh escaping her.

“Are you not going back to the capital now that she is reinstated as the Empress?”

“…If I wanted to go back, I wouldn’t have run away in the first place.”

Tasha replied succinctly. Her gaze was still fixed on the desolate white beach.

Watching her like that, Toto silently went into the ship and brought Tasha her scarf.

“At least wear this. It’s going to be cold.”

“Be careful too. If you were a bit more handsome, I might have loved you.”

“Nonsense without feelings.”

Toto chuckled, wrapping the scarf around Tasha himself.

Whenever she turned her head, her short, dark hair brushed against the thick scarf.

Toto looked at Tasha with pride as he brought the horses in.

“I’ll get some seasickness medicine with the others, so stop daydreaming and get on the ship quickly.”

“You haven’t bought seasickness medicine until now? You’re really something.”

“Are you oblivious even after crossing forty? I’m giving you time to sort out your feelings.”

Toto jokingly laughed, shaking a packet of medicine in front of Tasha.

His awkward attempt at consideration was somewhat unimpressive.

Tasha watched Toto, who was heading towards the village with his companions.

He had always been the same man, even before she met Ludwig Evan, even after she married him, had a child with him, and returned alone.

Perhaps, if she had loved him, she wouldn’t have wasted so many years.

But it was a futile imagination. Regardless of who the person was, emotions would become nothing after a while.

How on earth could love make one foolish?

Looking back now, it was truly a comical situation. Longing so desperately for the lingering sweetness, even though she knew it wasn’t real.

“Why did you bring me here if this was going to happen?”

She had asked that question once. She didn’t understand because it didn’t make sense.

The man who used to whisper sweet words of love to her  was looking at her as if she were a worthless object, shouting like someone who had forgotten that he loved her, and occasionally walked in with the scent of a strange woman.

“I never knew you would be this useless.”

Ludwig’s voice was cold. Somewhere along the way, every time he looked at her, he had the expression of looking at a thorn in his side.

When was the last time she saw him smile? When was the last time he spoke to her without anger?

At first, she tried to understand, and then she tried to convince him.

He must have been tired of the stares around them. It would be different if they had children.

There were times when she made an effort to live faithfully as the wife of a Marquis, and indeed, his attitude had improved at times.

But that was the price of Tasha’s small acquaintance with the Duchess of Salvatore.

After she gave birth and died, and especially after rumors related to her death spread in society, she became isolated again. Even the slightest attempt at socialising became difficult.

Screaming and protesting together didn’t keep them from getting tired.

The mansion, like a large prison, the servants who looked at her as if she were nothing as her relationship with Ludwig deteriorated, and the sight of Ludwig glaring at her like a stranger, trying to find fault with her every day, were all the same.

“I’m good with horses, Ludwig. I know herbs quite well, and I can shoot a bow well, probably better than anyone among the Patronas.”

The marriage of the imperial marquis and the beautiful stranger was like any fairy tale love story

However, who would have known that the reality following the splendid ending would be so miserable?

He praised her simple and pure appearance, saying he liked it more than the pretentious and cruel nobles, but now he called her foolish and vulgar, unable to mix with other nobles.

He once praised her lively riding and archery, but now she said he shouldn’t show her lowly blood.

Blinded by a momentary desire, the man who made her his Marchioness now realized too late that his love can’t withstand reality.

Tasha did not want to believe that his love was so shallow.

Even when he spat harsh words at her, raised his hand against her, and shouted, she clung to the foolish hope that he would return to the way he used to be.

“Then go back to that damn forest.”

Ludwig sneered.

He believed Tasha would never go back.

She had left her family and friends to come here, believing she could make fairytale love.

And now that she’d grown accustomed to the culture of the capital, there was no way she’d ever want to return to that barbaric, filthy place.

But she was exhausted. Tired of building up his petty pride and of trusting his love when she didn’t know when it would return.

“Fine. I’ll go back, Ludwig.”

“What did you say?”

“You promised to love me forever, to make me happy. You failed to keep both promises. It seems you have no intention of keeping them in the future either.”

Ludwig’s face turned red and blue at her words. Watching his reaction, she felt a glimmer of hope.

If he apologized now, said he was wrong, and said he still loved her, maybe she would believe him one more time.

“If you tell me you’re leaving, do you think I’ll get down on my hands and knees and cling to you?

However, seeing Ludwig grumble and sneer, she realized again.

He would never love her again, as he did before.

Even if he still had a little love left for her, he was ultimately a man who valued his pride more than love.

“I’m tired too. I’m going back now.”

With a listless voice, Ludwig clenched his jaw and glared at her. It was the moment when she was about to turn her body to pack.

“If you leave, leave Tenere behind. That child is mine.”

“What?”

“She’s already registered under Marquise Evan’s name. You can’t take her with you.”

Ludwig smirked. Her face contorted.

“I gave birth to her. I held her and gave birth to her. Who do you think you are to take my child?”

“If you plant an apricot seed and it grows, it’s called an apricot. If you plant an apple seed and it grows, it’s called an apple. Who assigns names to them?”

“You have Eric! Why would you take Tenere too?”

“Tenere is born from my seed, so she’s obviously mine.”

Ludwig didn’t have a strong attachment to his children. He would find them cute for a moment when they acted cute, but if they did anything that displeased him even a little, he would immediately be irritated.

The reason he claimed rights over the child was obvious. He believed that she would never be able to leave without her.

Ludwig quirked a brow.

“So I want you to stop being a dick and start being a good girl. Do you understand?

“…… asshole.

Tasha muttered under her breath, but there was nothing she could do if Ludwig refused to give up Tenere.

If he insisted on his rights to the child, they’d end up having to fight over custody, and the law was always so damn favorable to noble bastards.

When she said nothing more, Ludwig brushed past her, the corners of his mouth lifting in a sneer.

The smell of his unfamiliar cologne was sickening.

When Tasha didn’t leave the manor, Ludwig grew more determined.

He asked her sarcastically why she wouldn’t go back and that she should leave so he could find another woman worthy of the title of Marchioness.

And she endured that for a while.

She knew that if she didn’t leave, he wouldn’t be the first to say goodbye.

He was the one who had been mockingly referred to as the greatest romantic of all time, with Patrona herself as his wife.

He did not wish to risk the further ridicule that would befall him if he were to part with her now.

Moreover, he is no longer able to bear children, even illegitimate ones, and even if he were to find another woman, he would not be able to push her away from his own.

‘Did I abandon my family and friends and follow him to live like this? ’

Whenever Tasha had such thoughts, she would look at her daughter.

The child, who was approaching her sixth birthday, sensed her mother’s mood and would cling to her like a ghost.

“Tell me an old story.”

Tenere seemed to know what her mother loved and missed most.

Tasha felt sorry for her daughter, who always watched her parents’ every move, so she would always tell her fairy tales for her to listen to.

However, perhaps that day was different because she couldn’t think of any interesting stories, or maybe she had indulged in some unreasonable imagination.

Tasha told a different story than usual to her soon-to-be six-year-old child.

“Patrona drinks the blood of the first successful hunt, and then shares the cut meat. Only after eating the blood and meat of the prey hunted by oneself can one be recognized as a true hunter.”

Tasha vividly remembered the expression on the child’s face when she said those words.

She continued, holding the child in her arms.

“I caught a big deer. It was very fast and healthy. Do you know how the blood of a big deer tastes…”

“Mommy.”

Tenere, crying, nestled even more into her embrace. Tasha tightened her hold on the child.

“Are you scared?”

To Tasha’s question, Tenere quickly nodded and softly opened her mouth.

“…I think the deer must have been in pain.”

It was a reaction that Patrona would not have expected.

Usually, a young Patrona would either anticipate the first hunt, boast about being able to catch a bigger prey, or ask what to do if the taste wasn’t good.

But Tenere was a child of social society. Born as the young lady of Evan Marquis, she would continue to grow up that way.

Why did Tasha have such an unreasonable imagination about such a child?

“You’re kind, my dear.”

“I’m not a dear. I’m a child.”

A sharp voice was heard. It was a bit amusing to see a child who was always kind and gentle asserting herself in a strange way.

Smiling, Tenere raised her head as if understanding and said, “So what happened?”

“You said it was scary. Do you want to keep listening?

Naturally, Tasha was about to stop the story at this point, but her daughter’s question puzzled her.

Tenere nodded her head quickly and then spoke softly.

“But because Mommy likes it.”

At that statement, Tasha’s hand stopped. Her gaze turned towards her daughter.

“Do I look happy now?”

Did the child notice that she yearned for the old days too?

Tasha felt a little sorry for the child who was aware of it and, at the same time, was somewhat moved by the fact that she acknowledged it.

“Yeah. And you know what, Mommy.”

Tenere hesitated, as if she had something more to say. With small lips, she mumbled. One small hand grabbed onto her mother’s clothes.

“When Daddy gets angry, if you say you’re sorry, he won’t hit you.”

“…What?”

“Don’t get angry together, and say sorry. Then he won’t get angrier.”

It was stumbling words, like learning to walk. Tasha swallowed a forced laugh.

She didn’t blame the child for not knowing anything. She was just saying what she heard.

Despite knowing that, Tasha couldn’t ignore the child’s words.

Maybe it was because the child, not yet six years old, looked so weak that her words could become a weapon, or maybe it was embarrassing to see such a scene from the child, or maybe it was because she realized once again that there was no one on her side here.

“Do you think I did something wrong too? Do you think I should just shut up and act all high and mighty?”

Tasha asked, as if vomiting out the words.

She knew it wasn’t something to say to a child.

She was the mother, and there was no reason to be hurt by the words of a small child that didn’t reach her heart.

Knowing that, Tasha still waited for Tenere’s answer. The small lips hesitated before moving.

“It’s not like that…”

It was so pitiful and laughable that she felt relieved by such words.

‘But at least you’re on my side. You’re the only one who listens to me..’

The sight of a five-year-old’s words hanging like salvation on a cross was even more poignant.

“But why would you say such a thing? Why, even you?”

Tasha couldn’t remember what expression she had that day.

All she knew was that Tenere had seen her face, looked her in the eye, and told her she was wrong.

It was a struggle to catch her breath, instilling fear in the child, and her efforts to breathe were strained.