Chapter 5

Actually, she had graduated from teddy bears a long time ago. The pink frilled pajamas she was wearing now were clothes she usually found too childish to wear.  

Alice also knew what happens on the first night. However, she still hadn’t sorted out her feelings. If she faced it in this state, she felt she might end up crying in front of Daniel out of fear.  

She didn’t want that to happen. Daniel hadn’t done anything wrong. She absolutely didn’t want to disappoint the man who had looked so endlessly happy while gazing at her throughout the wedding.  

Two days ago, Alice received her first-ever education about the first night. It was shocking. The picture book the nanny opened in front of her contained obscene illustrations of a man and a woman n*ked and entangled together.  

Alice had been taught countless times throughout her life to keep her legs closed. Whether sitting, standing, or lying down, she was always told that a lady must keep her legs together. If her posture faltered even slightly, she would inevitably be scolded.  

But in the illustrations, the woman was n*ked, spreading her thighs wide toward the man, and between her legs, the man’s lower body extended into a long, er*ect organ that was entering her.  

– This is…isn’t this one of those books you told me never to go near?  

They said it was education about the sacred first night of a married couple, but the nanny had brought out a forbidden book and shown her such an image, leaving her feeling offended. When Alice, her face flushed red, protested, her mother, Alexa Mistry, the Duchess, coldly replied, 

– Yes, but that’s the act you have to accept in your married life. That’s intercourse, in other words, the marital relationship.

Alice was deeply shocked by the disgusting illustrations.  

– This is what a marital relationship is?  

Seeing Alice’s expression, the Duchess sighed and scolded the nanny.  

– How on earth did you educate her so poorly that she knows nothing about this even as an adult?  

– I’m sorry, Madam.  

What kind of education indeed? The nanny had raised her strictly as per the Duchess’s orders: ‘Always maintain dignity befitting a duke’s daughter and keep anything obscene completely away.’  

The nanny was annoyed by the Duchess’s outburst, but she understood that the Duchess herself felt embarrassed about teaching such things, which was why her irritation was showing. Quietly, the nanny apologized to the Duchess.  

– So, what those people were doing late at night in the garden…  

Alice had occasionally glimpsed men and women sneaking out to the garden during late-night social parties among nobles, rolling on the ground in dark corners. They hadn’t been n*ked, though.  

– Yes, they were having intercourse.  

– But those people weren’t married, were they?  

– That’s why I told you not to do such things and not to associate with people like that.  

At her mother’s cold words, Alice covered her mouth with her hand, silently horrified. In a trembling voice, she asked,  

– I have to do this with Daniel on the first night?  

– Yes. 

Alice couldn’t imagine it. Undressing in front of Daniel, spreading her legs like that, and having something like that enter her body.  

– Where exactly does something like that enter a woman’s body? 

– …Does it go into the anus?”  

– Oh, my goodness. Nanny! You never taught her s*x education?  

– As per your orders, Madam, I educated her strictly to avoid anything inappropriate.  

And then Alice learned that a man’s organ enters the small opening where women menstruate. Her face turned pale.  

– How does something that thick fit in there?  

– That’s why the first time will hurt a lot. Suddenly having something thick enter and stir inside will feel like your insides are tearing apart.  

– …Tearing apart?”  

– To establish the marriage, some men intentionally do it roughly to spill virgin blood onto the sheets.  

At those words, Alice’s complexion turned pale. But the Duchess spoke coldly.  

– Even if it feels like your insides are tearing apart and you cry from the pain, grit your teeth and endure it. You’re the one who insisted on marrying Daniel because you didn’t want to enter the king’s harem. Daniel knows that your virgin blood is necessary to validate the marriage, so he might act roughly. I suffered on my first night too.  

Those words left Alice trembling in fear for two days. And using the excuse of passing it on to her future child, she retrieved the teddy bear she used to cuddle as a child from storage and packed it with her belongings, along with some childish pajamas.  

‘Daniel will be different.’  

Alice and Daniel had been in love since childhood. During that time, Daniel had never once attempted anything indecent with Alice. Even when kissing, he always gently kissed her cheek and forehead, always embracing Alice with warm love.  

Some criticized him as a man who wasn’t fulfilling his role, but Alice thought her boyfriend was far better than men who ruined the lives of women left and right.  

‘Yes, Daniel is different from those men.’ 

So, if Alice didn’t want to, he wouldn’t force her. Daniel didn’t desire the kind of lascivious woman depicted in those illustrations; he loved her.  

That evening, the lingerie the maids dressed Alice in for the first night was unimaginably provocative. It was so revealing that she felt as if she were n*ked. Unable to keep wearing it, Alice shoved it under the bed as soon as the maids left the room and changed into the pajamas she had brought.  

She waited alone, trembling, until Daniel came in.  

When Daniel responded to her suggestion by greeting the teddy bear, Alice felt reassured.  

‘Daniel is so kind. He even plays along with things like this. So, he won’t do anything violent to me.’  

But when Daniel pressed his tongue into her mouth, breathing heavily and holding her tightly, Alice felt a sense of fear.  

When Alice refused, Daniel backed off as she had hoped, but hearing his labored breathing outside the door afterward made her confront the truth she had been avoiding.  

Daniel was an ordinary man with s*xual desires, just like other men.  

Trying to ignore the unfamiliar scent of the fluids Daniel had left on the sheets, Alice glanced at him. He was sleeping soundly, with the comfortable and innocent face she was used to seeing.  

Seeing that innocent face, Alice felt slightly reassured and smiled softly.  

In the morning, when the attendants came in, if Alice was still dressed, they would likely suspect that the two hadn’t consummated the marriage. Alice started to undo the buttons of her pajamas to undress but hesitated.  

Even though he was asleep, the thought of being n*ked next to Daniel embarrassed her, and she hesitated for a long time.  

‘Maybe I’ll just wake up early tomorrow morning and undress then.’