CHAPTER 65

[Dear Upper East Side Residents,

Are you enjoying the blossoming spring of New York with tulips in full bloom?

A little birdie told me a rumor!

M, an assistant teacher at the prestigious private girls’ school Aster School, is said to be cohabiting in the Park Avenue penthouse of T, a 32-year-old bachelor who is the guardian of a student she mentors…….

But wait, there’s more! They are reportedly engaging in a secret intimate relationship whenever the niece falls asleep. However, they are not actually lovers – just s*x partners!

Just recently, M confessed her unrequited love for him to her hipster friend living downtown.

The man remains oblivious to this fact. He has no intentions of entering into a relationship with anyone yet. Poor M. They’re planning to travel together during spring break; will there be any progress in the relationship M hopes for?

To be continued…

XOXO,

Gossip Girl.]

As she jokingly composed the sensationalized letter in her head, Minhee felt a pang in her heart. She gave a wry smile and headed towards Taejun’s penthouse, following the golden spring ambiance of Park Avenue.

As she opened the front door, she was greeted by a buzz of excitement. She could hear Luca on the phone with someone, and Rose arguing with the weekend nanny as she packed a tightly packed toy into a suitcase.

Luca, who had come to the penthouse to assist with Taejun’s travel preparations, was delighted to have a week-long vacation of his own, since becoming Taejun’s personal secretary, now that Taejun was taking an extended leave.

Taejun casually brushed off Luca’s offer to accompany him to the airport, saying, ‘Your vacation starts now. But if you still want to come, come along.’

Before leaving, Luca sang a tune and advised Minhee to check her account, mentioning that she had received a generous allowance for the trip.

‘I would have gone with you even if you didn’t give me an allowance.’

Minhee felt a pang in her chest, like another invisible line had been drawn. But there was no time to think about it now.

It was almost time to leave for the airport. As Minhee packed her toiletries and cosmetics hastily into the suitcase she had roughly packed the day before, she recalled the day when Taejun had come to her room to talk and then left.

***

‘Rose’s maternal grandparents contacted me recently. My brother used to take Rose to spend two weeks with them every spring break, so they asked me if I could bring her this year.’

‘Ah, so Taejun needed someone to accompany Rose on the flight to Korea.’ 

Minhee quickly went through her graduate school schedule in her mind, trying to recall how much the Aster spring break overlapped with her own.

‘They…earnestly requested for Rose to visit them because they missed her. I’ve also taken a week off. We’ll depart for Korea on the Friday night before spring break starts, and return to New York the following Sunday. Not counting the travel time, we’ll be in Korea for exactly a week.’

If Taejun was taking time off, there was no real need for her to go along. Rose had already grown accustomed to her uncle being her guardian.

‘If you’re going, do you really need me to come with you?’

Taejun sat silently for a moment before placing a worn-out, black faux leather notebook, its edges frayed and pages yellowed with age, on the table.

‘I found this when we went to my brother’s apartment.’

The day they went to his brother’s apartment was the day they had unexpectedly shed tears and emotions, seeking a ‘proper ending’. It was also the night when Taejun had confided his past, marking a slight advancement in their relationship.

That day, Rose had brought along a plethora of items filled with memories, including her parents’ photos and mementos, to put in the memory box. Taejun, who seemed to only watch over them, also appeared to have brought something back from his brother’s house.

‘What’s this?’

The well-worn item was clearly an old possession. Minhee carefully flipped through the notebook. It was filled with names, phone numbers, addresses, and short notes written in crisp Korean script, but as she turned the pages, the Korean became less and less, until the last few pages were completely in English.

The notebook resembled the old ‘diary’ Minhee’s mother used to have. Her mother even brought that diary when she immigrated to the US, much to her father’s teasing.

‘You brought a prehistoric artifact all the way to America? Isn’t that what you used to write in college? I can’t believe it’s still around.’

‘Stop teasing me!’

Her mother had cherished the memories from her youth contained in that diary. Minhee knew her father still occasionally looked at the sticker-covered photos and faded Polaroids inside. This phonebook probably held similar sentimental value.

‘Is this your brother’s notebook?’

‘…It’s my father’s.’

‘….’

Minhee momentarily forgot what she was going to say as she looked down at the notebook. Now that she thought about it, Taejun’s older brother was also a teenage boy when he came to America. He wasn’t old enough to have a phone book like this.

‘When I was young, I saw my father using this notebook. After he passed away, my brother must have kept it when he was sorting through his belongings.’

Minhee wondered why Taejun was showing her this deeply personal notebook.

‘I’ve always thought our ties with our extended family were cut off. My father was an orphan, and my maternal grandparents strongly opposed their marriage. Mom left home with Dad, and they couldn’t even have a proper wedding before my brother was born. I remember when I was six, holding my mother’s hand as we went to visit my maternal grandparents, only to be turned away at the door.’

‘Oh…’

Minhee didn’t know how to react to the suddenly revealed sensitive family history.

‘My brother…… I think he started reconnecting with our relatives on my mother’s side about 6 years ago. He must have found their contact information in this notebook. He always had the habit of keeping notes, and the entries show he was in regular contact with our maternal uncle for occasions.’

Taejun flipped to the back pages, where the English-written notes were.

‘Looking at the dates here, my brother was in touch with our maternal uncle until the end of last year. There are his phone numbers and home address here too.’

‘Six years ago…that’s right around the time Rose was born. I guess he wanted to give her a complete family.’

Taejun looked at Minhee with an unfamiliar gaze as if he had heard something unexpected, then slowly nodded.

‘…I suppose so.’

Minhee then cautiously asked.

‘Does this notebook have anything to do with why I need to go with you?’

‘…The other day, I informed our maternal uncle about my brother’s passing. It seemed like the right thing to do.’

In the past, even if Taejun had found his father’s notebook at his brother’s house, he wouldn’t have brought it all the way home. And even if he had found his uncle’s contact details in the notebook, there was no way he would have contacted him first. Not if it wasn’t for the ‘proper ending’ that he heard from Minhee.

‘Your uncle must have been shocked.’

Taejun let out a long sigh.

‘…Yes. I was told my grandmother collapsed from the shock when she heard the news. They asked if I could at least come by for a short visit.’

Minhee’s eyebrows drew together, and her tightly pressed lips tightened. The concern was evident on her face. Seeing Minhee bravely holding back tears, Taejun reached out and gently stroked her cheek.

‘How old is your maternal grandmother…….’

‘She’s 87. That’s why I was planning to go down to Busan, where their home is, for a day or two without Rose. But I changed my mind. I’ll take Rose with me. If the reason my brother started reconnecting with the family was to create a family for Rose… then I want to do that as well.’

Taejun calmly shared his just-made decision with her.

‘You’ve made a good decision. Taejun, you’ve done well!’

She grasped Taejun’s hand, which had been touching her cheek, and mimicked stamping it with an imaginary stamp on his palm. A faint smile appeared on Taejun’s lips.

‘So, will you come with me?’

Despite the light, playful tone, Minhee could see the anxiety and desperation in Taejun’s gaze as he looked at her. Minhee also felt that ‘family’ for Taejun wasn’t the comfortable and affectionate feeling she associated with ‘family’. Considering his upbringing, it was only natural.

He was a man whose scars from the battlefield no longer hurt when touched. But the wounds inflicted by his loved ones were etched deep within, still in the process of healing. Minhee knew that was why they would sting whenever touched.

‘How can I refuse this?’

Truth be told, Minhee felt her heart could burst with joy at the fact that Taejun needed her for something so important. She smiled widely, nodding her head repeatedly to reassure him.

‘Yeah.’

***

Minhee had traveled to South Korea last year and vividly remembered how long the day had been on her way from JFK Airport.

She had waited in the winding line in front of the airline counter for a long time to check in her luggage. Then, she had to stand in another long line for immigration and navigate the chaotic security checkpoint, where everyone was either folding strollers or taking out laptops.

By the time she was done with all that, she felt exhausted even before departing. But the adrenaline of going to Korea soon chased away the fatigue.

Every time a Korean holiday came around, Minhee’s father used to say that in the past, the waiting lines were like parking lots filled with people going back to their homes. The sight was both exhausting and heartwarming.

Although she had lived in the US longer than in Korea, Minhee always missed Korea. Maybe, she thought, she missed the carefree days of her childhood in Korea.

The childhood where her mother was alive, where she didn’t know what deprivation was, and where she was enveloped in overflowing love, not knowing if happiness was truly happiness.

‘Maybe that feeling is what my dad means when he says ‘home’.’