Chapter 2.5

“Come with me.”

“I was about to leave. I just wanted to say goodbye to Idris before I went.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Why are you saying that?”

The sky behind Kashian, who had arrived while Idris was briefly out, was heavy, as if it would spill rain at any moment.

His fierce expression was the same as when he had heard she was planning to attend Idris’s wedding. But perhaps because of the eyes and ears of the people in the Duke’s mansion, Kashian suppressed his emotions and spoke calmly, though with authority.

“Do you know what people are saying about you right now?”

“…What are they saying?”

People were talking about me? 

Her heart sank. But having spent the past three days quietly within the mansion, she was certain her identity couldn’t have been revealed. She faced Kashian directly, who had barged in and was now angry.

“Is it that they know I’m here, or are there just rumors about a woman entering the Duke’s mansion and not leaving?”

“……”

“If it’s not confirmed, why are you so angry?”

Seeing Kashian’s tightly closed lips, she was sure that her presence hadn’t been revealed. She lifted her chin confidently. Kashian’s thick eyebrows furrowed.

“How can I not be angry? Think about what you’ve done!”

“What did I do?”

“Say it yourself. What have you been doing here? There’s no way you’ve been staying here doing nothing. Do you think I don’t know you?”

“……”

“It’s only a matter of time before people find out who you are. How were you planning to avoid the rats swarming around the townhouse when you returned? What was your plan?”

His face, which was too refined to belong to a knight, was flushed red with anger. Even though it had been a while since he had dismounted, his breathing was still rough.

“Have you thought about Father?”

At his sharp rebuke, her shoulders flinched, and she clenched her hands tightly.

Even though she had tried to live peacefully, to appear as though she was fine, she couldn’t help but think of her father every time she checked the time. And seeing Kashian’s bloodshot eyes, so similar yet different from their father’s, she straightened her back, pulling her shrinking shoulders back. At least she had nothing to be ashamed of.

“It’s just been a few days. No one knows. If I leave during a quiet time…”

“Do you think you can hide the sky with your palm? Father already knows.”

“…What?”

Her hands fell limp, and her clasped fingers came apart.

“You’re an adult now. How long do you plan to burden Father with the consequences of your selfish actions?”

“What burden have I placed on him? Why am I being blamed for something that hasn’t even happened yet? Is this about my marriage prospects? Don’t worry. Even if Father passes away and I become a spinster, I won’t rely on you.”

“Hillienti von Rinshers!”

“Don’t yell at me!”

Her body stiffened at the sharpness in Kashian’s voice as he called her full name, but she raised her voice in defiance.

She couldn’t understand why Kashian interfered so much in her life. Their ambiguous age difference and their differing genders and personalities had always made their relationship feel close yet distant.

“Do you think Idris will look at you just because you do this?”

His low voice, gritted through clenched teeth, pierced her like a dagger. She bit her lip to hold back tears and glared at him.

Seeing her on the verge of tears, Kashian sighed heavily and ruffled his disheveled gray hair. His gaze, as if looking at a troublesome burden, stung her chest.

“Go back to the estate. This is your final warning.”

“……”

Kashian had always wanted to hide her. He had never been satisfied with her and constantly tried to teach her. When she pointed this out or expressed her dissatisfaction, he always disguised his actions as being for her protection. But she had never been grateful for it. She had never wanted it. How could it have been for her?

If she returned to the estate now, she would never be able to come back. She would never see Idris again. He would not come looking for her. Just as Kashian and her father had almost prevented them from meeting, they would miss each other once again.

The two of them wouldn’t force her into a political marriage, so she would grow old alone. But Idris would marry another woman and continue his family line.

If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be better if she married him instead?

She must have lost her mind. Even though she knew it was a ridiculous thought, she couldn’t stop herself from voicing it.

“If I die…”

“What?”

“If I get into a carriage accident on the way back? Or if Idris does something drastic? Would you not regret it?”

Kashian’s face froze in shock.

“The only person he has ever allowed by his side is me. It’s not arrogance, nor is it pride—it’s simply the truth. You’re the only one who thinks I’m lacking. Here, I’m considered a blessing, but only you think of me as misfortune.”

She quickly wiped away the tears that began to fall with the back of her hand, suppressing her voice to keep herself from crying.

“And the person who asked me to stay here…”

“It was me.”

Someone cut her off, interrupting her words. She blinked at the broad back that suddenly blocked her view.

“Kashian.”

Idris had returned. His voice, lower than usual, resonated like the growl of a beast.

She didn’t know when he had arrived, but it was clear he had heard everything. Her face burned with embarrassment, but since he wasn’t looking at her and instead focused on Kashian, it felt as though he was shielding her. His large frame obscured her, and all she could do was blink.

The two men, who had once stood shoulder to shoulder, now faced each other like bitter enemies. The suffocating silence was broken by Idris’s soft greeting.

“It’s been a while.”

“…Yes, it has.”

Kashian, who she thought would scoff or lash out, unexpectedly returned the greeting calmly. She naively assumed his anger had subsided.

“I was the one who held onto Hillienti. This is all my responsibility, so if you’re angry, direct it at me…”

“I understand and sympathize with the grief you’ve endured, but this is something I cannot tolerate. You’re a damned bastard.”

“Kashian!”

It was like the calm before the storm. Kashian’s expression instantly turned icy, and he looked as though he might throw a punch at Idris at any moment. Startled, she quickly stepped between them to block Kashian, fearing his fiery temper might lead him to act impulsively.

Kashian let out a cold laugh, his gaze brushing past her before landing on Idris.

“The one who broke the promise was you. Take responsibility for your actions.”

Kashian turned abruptly, his coat billowing heavily to his knees as he disappeared from sight.

It was an abrupt end. The lingering image of Kashian, leaving after throwing out a single sentence, hovered in her mind. 

Was that it? Was he really just going to leave like that?

No matter what trouble she caused or how much she upset him, Kashian had never once raised a hand against her. He was the kind of brother who would assign guards to even her shortest outings, always ensuring her safety.

Did I really mess up so badly? Even though he had the ability to cover things up as though nothing had happened… Why? 

She couldn’t understand. She took a step forward, preparing to chase after him, but her wrist was suddenly grabbed, and she turned her head.

“I’m sorry.”

Idris’s large thumb gently rubbed her wrist, as if trying to erase a mark that wasn’t there. The warmth of his touch and the kindness in his green eyes, visible through his golden lashes, stirred her emotions uncontrollably. The tickling sensation spreading from her heart to her fingertips captivated her, even though she knew it was an inappropriate feeling.

“I…”

The Adam’s apple in his throat moved slowly as he swallowed. Her heart felt like it was about to burst as she waited for him to speak, but before he could say anything, someone else interrupted them. A knock sounded, and the door opened to reveal his aide, Revron, with a tense expression.

“Your Grace. I have urgent news.”

“…Can you wait for a moment?”

Idris’s troubled expression softened as he turned to her, silently asking for her understanding.

“…Yes.”

As soon as she nodded, he left, leaving her behind with unfinished words. 

Would he return to me, knowing I would still be waiting? Was it my imagination, or did his retreating figure seem to carry that assurance?

Why? Why had he held onto me? What was he trying to say?

“Promise. Responsibility.” 

She repeated those words, turning them over in her mind like synonyms. As she did, she met Julie’s worried gaze. Julie had approached cautiously, her concern evident in her eyes.

“Miss… Are you alright?”

Without realizing it, Hillienti shook her head reflexively. Was the command to take responsibility meant for her, or was it directed at Idris? He hadn’t been speaking to her, after all. Besides, she had never made any promises to Kashian.