Pulling consciousness up from beneath the surface of sleep was an incredibly difficult task. When he opened his eyes, bright light poured in. Everything before him was white. Am I dead and in heaven? That’s strange. I’ve done too many bad things to end up in heaven.

A face suddenly appeared in his field of vision.

Seeing him, Soo-hyun realized this wasn’t heaven.

“Are you conscious?”

Soo-hyun turned his head and looked around. He remembered being taken to the hospital, but after that, his memory was blank. Trying to move, he noticed an IV needle in his arm, and beside him were a heart monitor making beeping sounds and a humidifier vigorously emitting steam. He seemed to be in a hospital room, and quite a large one at that.

“Am I alive?”

Ho-beom smirked at that question.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“You bastard…”

“You’re cursing, so you must be fine.”

Soo-hyun moved his right hand down to feel his abdomen. Is my kidney okay? He could feel a scar on his side. It didn’t seem like there were any new incisions or sutures. As he was feeling around his stomach, there was a knock at the door, and three doctors entered. The older doctor greeted Ho-beom with familiarity.

“Oh my, Director Yang! It’s been a while. How is the Chairman these days? Dr. Yoon mentioned his blood pressure was slightly elevated.”

“Nothing to worry about. He’s still exercising regularly.”

“That’s right. As we age, muscle mass decreases noticeably day by day. The Chairman was quite athletic in his youth, but age catches up with everyone. Looking at you now, I can see you’re the spitting image of him. Your bone structure and that look in your eyes—identical.”

“Is that so?”

“How reassuring and fulfilling it must be for him. He must feel satisfied even without eating. Though of course, he shouldn’t actually skip meals. Haha.”

The man seemed to have no interest in Soo-hyun whatsoever. Soo-hyun couldn’t tell if he had come to examine him or just to flatter Yang Ho-beom. He had questions to ask, but the doctor’s attention was still fixed on Ho-beom. When Soo-hyun looked at him with annoyance, the doctor finally noticed and approached him.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Baek Soo-hyun? Are you alright?”

Soo-hyun responded with a lukewarm expression.

“Yes…”

The doctor then looked back and forth between Ho-beom and Soo-hyun.

“And what is your relationship with each other…?”

Soo-hyun blurted out an answer.

“We’ve done it three times so far. The first time was just oral.”

Ho-beom immediately pulled the blanket over Soo-hyun’s face and pressed down on it. Then he spoke to the doctor in a calm voice. Don’t worry about it. He’s still drunk. Soo-hyun yanked the blanket off and glared at Ho-beom. I almost suffocated to death. Yang Ho-beom glanced at him. His eyes said: Shut your mouth before I really kill you. Soo-hyun pressed his lips together and relaxed his gaze.

As soon as he was fully awake, Soo-hyun asked what he’d been wondering about.

“Excuse me, doctor.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“My kidney… is it okay?”

The doctor’s wrinkled eyes widened slightly.

“Your kidney?”

“My kidney.”

The doctor nodded.

“Of course. You had a gastric spasm, but your kidney is fine. The CT scan and blood tests showed no abnormalities.”

Soo-hyun breathed a sigh of relief.

“That’s good… I was worried because I only have one.”

The director looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“Only one?”

Soo-hyun’s lips moved hesitantly. Should I tell him about this…? After looking troubled for a moment, he reluctantly told the truth.

“Someone… took one away a while back.”

The director’s mouth fell open. He looked not at Soo-hyun but at Ho-beom, his eyes full of doubt. He seemed to be wondering if Soo-hyun was talking nonsense because of the alcohol or if his mind was unstable.

Soo-hyun felt wronged. Had the hospital really checked properly? If they had scanned his abdomen, they would have seen he was missing a kidney. The director turned to consult with the doctor standing behind him. Soo-hyun couldn’t make out the medical terminology, but the younger doctor promptly answered.

“There were no abnormalities.”

Soo-hyun pulled up the bottom of his hospital gown to show the scar on his side. The director came closer and pushed up his glasses.

“Here. See this? There’s a surgical scar.”

The director tilted his head doubtfully. That’s impossible. A kidney transplant would require at least this much of an incision. The size the director indicated with his hands was quite different from Soo-hyun’s scar. Soo-hyun was so dumbfounded he couldn’t close his mouth. Beside him, Ho-beom snickered.

“If you’re still concerned, we can run another test tomorrow.”

Then he said to Ho-beom, Your friend should probably quit drinking. I can still smell the alcohol… Haha. With that, he left the room. Soo-hyun felt indignant. He forced himself to sit up and stared intently at his own stomach. Then what is this?

“If you glare at it like that, will your existing kidney disappear?”

“This is strange… I clearly remember… someone cutting open my stomach and taking something out.”

But thinking about it carefully, he’d been under anesthesia at the time, so his memories weren’t clear. When he opened his eyes, he wasn’t in a state to properly see or confirm anything. He just assumed it was his kidney because the doctor was holding something red in his hand.

In his panic, he had grabbed a scalpel and swung it, then staggered out of there. He didn’t even know how he escaped. He ran while holding his open wound, his vision gradually whitening until he collapsed on the street and woke up in a hospital. The doctor said a passerby had found him and called for help. After that, the police came and started asking questions, so Soo-hyun ran away from them. That was the last time he’d been to a hospital.

“Wow, sh*t… So I had a kidney all along?”

Ho-beom looked at him with contempt, thinking “What kind of idiot is this?” Feeling embarrassed, Soo-hyun touched his neck awkwardly, then belatedly smiled with joy. He also wondered if Yang Ho-beom had known all along. The doctor’s expression when speaking had suggested as much.

“Director Yang. You knew, didn’t you?”

Instead of answering, Ho-beom just sneered, which made Soo-hyun slightly irritated.

“If you knew, you should have told me!”

“Didn’t you ever think the scar was too small? Or did you really think kidneys were just the size of beans?”

Soo-hyun was momentarily stunned.

So kidneys… aren’t called “bean-red beans” because of their size?

Not wanting to reveal his ignorance, he argued with Ho-beom.

“Still. It would have been nice to know earlier. I’ve been lying to people for no reason.”

“Ninety percent of what you say is lies anyway.”

Soo-hyun rolled his eyes but still looked aggrieved.

“Hey… it’s not as high as ninety percent…”

He also thought about how whenever loan sharks pressured him to pay up, he would tell them to take his remaining kidney too. What would have happened if they had actually taken it?

“If you’re done with the drama, lie back down. I need to go to work.”

Ho-beom pressed Soo-hyun’s forehead to make him lie back. Soo-hyun checked the time. It was 6 AM. I’ve been asleep for quite a while. But once he was lying down, he noticed the blanket had slipped below his knees. He reached for it but couldn’t grab it, so he tugged at Ho-beom’s sleeve.

“Director Yang… cover me with the blanket.”

Ho-beom pulled the blanket up to just below Soo-hyun’s face. Soo-hyun smiled, his eyes crinkling.

“We’ve gotten pretty close now, haven’t we?”

When Ho-beom didn’t respond, Soo-hyun grabbed his arm and shook it, trying to charm him.

“I won’t stab you in the back anymore. So, let’s both do our best.”

Ho-beom reached out toward Soo-hyun. Thinking he was about to be hit, Soo-hyun flinched, but Ho-beom touched his lips. Then he smiled handsomely. The smile was so affectionate that Soo-hyun thought he might kiss him, so he parted his lips slightly and bit Ho-beom’s fingertip. In response, Ho-beom roughly pinched and twisted his lip. Mmph! When Soo-hyun frowned in pain, Ho-beom smiled coldly and declared:

“What should I do? I hold grudges for a long time. I still go crazy wanting to slice up this mouth when I see it.”

Slap! After hitting Ho-beom’s hand away, Soo-hyun rubbed his pinched lip. It hurts like hell. When he glared at him, Ho-beom pulled the blanket all the way over Soo-hyun’s head and pressed down on his face. Stop talking and go to sleep. Someone will come in the morning.

Soo-hyun yanked off the blanket that was covering him. Yang Ho-beom had already walked to the door.

“Thank you.”

Ho-beom stopped walking but didn’t look back.

“For saying you were my guardian earlier. Thanks.”

As soon as Soo-hyun finished speaking, Ho-beom opened the door and left. That kid. Acting all shy. The hospital room, now empty, was as quiet as a grave. Soo-hyun reached down to touch his stomach. As he felt the scar, his heart swelled with emotion. He had no luck with parents, no luck with men, and he thought he had no kidney either, so it was truly a relief to hear that at least one was intact.

***

“Auntie, another bottle of soju here, please.”

After the manager left, Soo-hyun ordered several more bottles of soju. As he was drinking the complimentary fish cake soup, he got a message from Jae-sun asking how things went with the safe. How did it go? It’s f*cked, that’s how. He sent a reply saying he’d contact him later, but his typing was a mess because he was drunk.

Soo-hyun gulped down more alcohol, then after thinking for a while, he searched for Woo-jin’s contact.

[Wht?]

After sending the message, he soon received a reply.

[Pardon?]

[Wjin I’m at a pojngmcha]

The text was a mess. As he tried to clear his head and type again, a call came in. It was Kim Woo-jin. After answering with a hello, he heard footsteps. It seemed Woo-jin had gone outside to talk.

[Where are you?]

“At a street food tent.”

[Have you been drinking a lot?]

“Yeah, can you tell?”

[Yes. Your voice sounds like it. Are you alone?]

Judging by his tone, Soo-hyun suspected that if he said he was alone, Woo-jin would come.

Soo-hyun lied that he was with hotel staff. Ah, I see. His voice was indeed full of disappointment.

“I called because I was curious about something.”

[What is it?]

“Does that bastard Ho-beom have any weaknesses?”

There was no answer.

Woo-jin sighed softly. How would I know that? He sounded somewhat disappointed.

“Think carefully. Know your enemy and know yourself, and you’ll win every battle, right?”

[Hyung.]

“Yes?”

[Can you write ‘win every battle’ in Chinese characters?]

Soo-hyun laughed in disbelief.

“Hey… you’re surprisingly similar to Yang Ho-beom? Are you secretly his brother?”

[And more importantly, your enemy right now isn’t Ho-beom hyung.]

His voice was indifferent, but strangely sharp. As I thought, he’s young but seems to have something up his sleeve. Before Soo-hyun could probe further, Woo-jin continued.

[Why are you so interested in Ho-beom hyung?]

“It’s not interest, I just don’t like him. I want to torment him.”

[Really?]

“Yeah.”

Again, silence. What could he be thinking?

[I don’t know about weaknesses, but Ho-beom hyung likes animals.]

“Animals? Like tigers?”

[Dogs. When he was young, he used to bring in stray dogs and take care of them.]

Huh. That’s hard to believe. So he’ll beat people but not dogs? When Soo-hyun asked if there was anything else, Woo-jin said he didn’t know. Well, it’s unlikely Kim Woo-jin would know such things anyway. Thinking this conversation was pointless, Soo-hyun tried to end the call.

“I should go back in. People are looking for me.”

[Hyung…]

“Yes?”

[Next time, ask about me.]

“What?”

[I’m hanging up. Don’t drink too much. It’s bad for your health.]

For a moment, Soo-hyun was dumbfounded. Even so, his voice was sweet. Cute kid. Anyone watching would think he was talking to a lover. After hanging up, Soo-hyun rested his chin on the table and poured more than half a cup of soju. He brought it to his lips and downed it in one go. Clunk, he set it on the table, and noticed a woman nearby crying and sniffling, drunk. The men with her were flustered and didn’t know what to do. As she started sobbing loudly, they were sweating trying to console her.

“Like a lost puppy…”

For some reason, the corners of Soo-hyun’s mouth curled up.

He got up and went to the busy street food tent owner who was cooking.

“Ma’am, are you very busy?”

“Are you done? You’re quite drunk. Just pay for the three bottles of soju. The rest was covered by that gentleman earlier.”

“That’s not it, I have a favor to ask.”

Soo-hyun rummaged through his pocket and searched for someone’s number. Then he held it up in front of the owner’s face.

“Could you call this number and tell them I’m crying and they should come pick me up?”

He smiled prettily with crinkled eyes, but the owner made a face like she’d seen it all. Is she your girlfriend? Even so, do women like it when men cry? And I’m busy. I have mountains of work to do. She flipped a pancake, and Soo-hyun took out his wallet from his jacket and pulled out some cash. He slipped two 50,000 won bills into her apron and said, “Please do me this favor.” She put the finished pancake on a plate and handed it to Soo-hyun.

“Take this to the table at the end. And give me the phone.”

Soo-hyun smiled brightly.

“Thank you.”

The owner, checking the number, held the phone at a distance.

“Is the surname Ho? Ho-ro-beom?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my, his parents were too cruel.”

She started dialing, and Soo-hyun took the plate of pancake to the table at the end. “Enjoy your meal.” After greeting them kindly and returning, she handed him the phone.

“It’s a man?”

“Is he coming?”

“No. He says he doesn’t know you. And it’s freezing cold out there?”

Ah… I thought as much. As he stood there looking dejected, his eyes went to the 50,000 won bill sticking out of the owner’s apron pocket. She noticed his gaze and pushed it in, making the yellow bill disappear. Soo-hyun returned to his seat with a bitter smile.

Damn, he’s not so easy to manipulate.

He drank the remaining alcohol straight without any side dishes, and the intoxication hit him rapidly. It felt like his entire body was being dominated by alcohol. Ah, trying to clear his head, he rubbed his face vigorously with his hands, when his phone rang. Soo-hyun doubted his eyes, then jumped up and ran to the tent owner.

“Ma’am! He’s coming! Quick, quick!”

Though she looked annoyed, she played along perfectly. “Oh, is that so? Please come quickly and take him away. He’s been crying so much, it’s pitiful.” At her words, Soo-hyun clenched his fist in the air. Go, ma’am!

“Is that good?”

“Hehe, thank you.”

As he tried to bow, his body swayed and he fell onto a nearby empty table. Crash! The chair fell over too, and the owner got up in surprise to help him. Oh my, that’s why you shouldn’t drink so much. Soo-hyun laughed awkwardly as he got up and dusted himself off. I’m sorry. I’m too drunk.

This won’t do. I need to get some fresh air and sober up before Yang Ho-beom arrives. Soo-hyun left his jacket on his seat and turned around. The owner who had been cooking inside was nowhere to be seen. She should at least be here to help with the act. Surely Yang Ho-beom hasn’t arrived already?

Soo-hyun pulled back the curtain and went outside. He couldn’t feel the cold at all. To look like a pitiful dog, he should at least pretend to cry, but he was so drunk he wasn’t sure if he could act properly. Maybe he should walk a bit. As he tried to move, his body kept drifting sideways.

At some point, he turned around. The food tent was nowhere to be seen. That’s strange. It was right here just a moment ago. Passersby glanced at him. No matter how far he walked, he couldn’t find his way, and he felt lost. Just like that day when he was left alone on the mountain.

Suddenly, a wave of sorrow washed over him. He felt as if a group of people in black clothes would appear from somewhere and chase after him. Thinking he should hide, Soo-hyun went to a secluded corner and crouched down. Ha, his breath scattered in a white mist in the air.

Belatedly, the cold hit him, and he thought of his mother. How cold must his mother have been, left alone? How painful must it have been? He shouldn’t have run away alone that day. He should have found a way to bring his mother out with him. Even if it meant getting beaten to death, he should have stayed by her side. He should have fought those bastards with a stone in his hand.

No, digging deeper, perhaps he should never have been born in the first place.

Then his mother wouldn’t have married his father, and she wouldn’t have died that way.

If only I hadn’t existed. If only I…

Tears suddenly poured out. Ah, this isn’t right. I shouldn’t cry now. I should cry later in front of Yang Ho-beom. To look like a pitiful dog, I should cry later…

His vision darkened, and he saw his mother. She appeared wearing pretty clothes and comforted him. He couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality. He asked her to take him away like this, but instead of answering, she just shook her head. This made Soo-hyun so sad that he burst into tears.