“If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to.”

“…Alright.”

“So what happened after that?”

“After that…”

I followed the deer to the greenhouse. There I found Rolf struggling to rebuild the cracked structure.

“He wouldn’t have welcomed the fruit you offered, I imagine.”

“How did you know? Just as you predicted, he refused the fruit I held out.”

He seemed to know what it was. Though we couldn’t hear each other’s voices and could only see our reflections in the broken glass, he appeared to understand instinctively.

He politely declined my gesture and returned to his work rebuilding the greenhouse with renewed determination.

He chose to remain at the mansion. He seemed deeply attached to the place, but this time I couldn’t understand why.

“If you’re curious, I could tell you.”

“No, it’s fine. I respect his choice and don’t particularly want to pry.”

Shortly after, the deer led me to others. That’s how I met Lord Warren, Mrs. Potts, and Lord Rumie. Two of them said they still had work to do, and the remaining one was beyond my help.

“You’re talking about Mike.”

“It was a different kind of curse from immortality or eternity.”

“What happened to him?”

“He left, vowing to travel the world in search of another way. Oh, he had a message he wanted me to relay to you. Would you like to hear it?”

“I suspect it won’t be particularly favorable to me.”

“He said, ‘Tell him that wolves mate for life.’ I’m not sure what it means… but he insisted I pass it along.”

“I see…”

In any case, he was the last person I met there. By then, only one fruit with a cherry-like stem remained in my hand. The snowfall that had been whirling about as though to bury the world had weakened, becoming so fine it was hard to tell whether it was snow or rain.

The sky was filled with clouds, so completely that without the faint light breaking through the gaps between them, I couldn’t have distinguished day from night.

I turned my body to follow those slowly drifting clouds.

“At the edge of my vision, I could see the spire.”

I thought of you. You who had held me and wept, and your butler. Looking back, I realized I hadn’t met either of you.

I began walking toward the spire in a trance-like state, then suddenly turned around.

“The deer had vanished.”

I didn’t even find it strange at that moment. I just thought how lonely the empty courtyard looked without the deer, then turned back again. I climbed the spire. The path felt so familiar that I even felt nostalgic for it.

When I reached the top, I pushed open the slightly ajar door.

“And there you were.”

“I must have been a pitiful sight.”

“You were. Hollow eyes, gaunt face, muttering my name with a voice cracked from crying.”

“You don’t need to be so detailed.”

“Judging by your expression, you remember.”

“Yes.”

I could only watch you. As you recall, you never lifted your head from my face. How could you possibly see me?

I could only sit across from you, endlessly gazing at your face, hoping you would eventually look up.

“Then… my butler…”

“I heard him repeatedly telling you it was useless, that I would soon transform into a manaha, and that you should give up on me. Of course…”

“…”

“I also saw how you responded each time, and the expression on your face as you drove him away.”

I felt restless. Time kept flowing, but nothing changed. The deer had disappeared, and my own existence felt uncertain. If this situation continued, would I become what they called a ‘manaha’? 

If I were consumed by this time, if I lost my very existence, would you be sad?

Everything was uncertain.

“But I wasn’t afraid.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps it was precisely because I didn’t know that I could endure. I could hope, couldn’t I? Hope for a future where happiness came from directions I’d never imagined. Hope based on assumptions, that your feelings would never change, that someday I would open my eyes again or find the deer or accomplish something. Having such assumptions made it possible to endure.”

It was a day when moonlight poured over your face. As usual, you were looking down at me lying on the bed.

Watching your face, a thought suddenly occurred to me: if I stood facing you under that moonlight, would I be reflected in your eyes?

“I immediately put that thought into action.”

“I thought… I thought it was a dream.”

“I figured you would think that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been the first to embrace me.”

Listen, the truth is… I did something terrible to you that night. Honestly, I’m a bit scared now. I fear that after this confession, you might see me differently.

That you might regret the promise you made earlier. I hesitate to continue…

“That won’t happen. A vow isn’t so easily broken.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Truly, absolutely.”

Alright. I’ll believe you. I’ll believe and tell you.

I… I hid the fruit meant for you. Right when you embraced me. In my hand, holding the fruit seemed completely natural. Two pieces, exactly matching the number, one for you and one for your butler. They appeared to already have designated owners. At that moment, I had a thought.

“One for you, one for your butler. And after I gave away all the fruit.”

What about me? What would become of me?

I had already died once and consumed that red powder. So my fate seemed predetermined. According to what you told me, I would either become a manaha or live eternally, one of the two. 

Or perhaps, having met the white deer, I would become something else entirely… What would happen to me?

I was confused. Like wandering through a foggy maze in a dream, my hazy consciousness returned. Reality became visible. And then I grew afraid.

“So I didn’t even ask you. I took away your choice.”

“…”

“I didn’t want to be alone. I was sick of loneliness. I hated being lonely more than I feared death.”

If I were to make excuses, you were my only support. You were the only person I could count on for anything. I had nowhere else to go.

“I know it was selfish.”

It was my own desire. I won’t deny that I acted with my interests in mind rather than yours. Still, I have no regrets. If I had given you the fruit then, you would have chosen peace over me without hesitation.

Just as your butler didn’t hesitate. That must have been the wish you and your butler had longed for all this time.

“That’s the end of my secret.”

“I see.”

“Your reaction is different from what I expected.”

“Did you expect me to be angry with you?”

“Not angry perhaps, but disappointed.”

Because I did deceive you. That’s an undeniable fact.

“Don’t you hate me?”

“Not particularly.”

“Do you resent me?”

“Not at all.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s no reason to.”

“How can you say that?”

I took away the end you longed for and bound you eternally to my side. I concealed the very existence of that opportunity. How can you not resent me?

“…because.”

“Hmm?”

“Because I wanted to be with you.”

Even if that end was uncertain, even if it meant an eternity without end, even if I had already experienced failure once. I felt the impulse to be with you, I deliberated over it, and I made my decision.

Though I’ve never directly told you this before.

“Why? Why with me…?”

“Because I’m curious.”

“You call that an answer?”

“Because I’m curious about how you, who cherishes books and silence, seafood and wine, flowers and relationships, will change. I wonder what else you’ll come to love when your experiences grow, when your world becomes much deeper and broader than it is now, and what expressions you’ll make and how you’ll react each time. I’m curious. I want to know more about you. I want to see, hear, and experience it all firsthand, and remember it.”

“But why?”

“Because I love you.”

I want to be with you, I’m curious about you, and I imagine a future together. If that isn’t love, then what is?

“Then…”

“I won’t leave. Ever. Even if you beg me to let you go, I won’t.”

“Will that be all right?”

“Won’t you be the one to regret it someday?”

“Right now… right now, I don’t think I’ll regret it.”

“You won’t regret it.”

Because I don’t intend to repeat the same mistake twice. I can’t promise I’ll make you love me, but I’ll at least try to make you happy.

Give me your eternity, and my eternity will forever be yours.