Though In-woo hadn’t said a word, the conversation continued on its own. It was sickening. He wanted to completely block out his thoughts.

Radel’s eyes settled into a quiet blue. Though reading In-woo’s mind shouldn’t have been too taxing for him, he looked extremely tired.

“Why are you getting worse?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

“If you want me not to read, I won’t read for now.”

“Don’t read at all. It’s horrible.”

“I don’t want to do things you hate either. But you’re not in a state to give rational answers. You’re just thinking it’s frustrating.”

In-woo glared at Radel. It was Radel who wasn’t responding rationally to the suggestion to break up and acting as he pleased. But he deliberately didn’t voice the thoughts that came to mind. The conversation was meaningless anyway.

When he first learned the truth, In-woo had internally taken the fact that Lee Sun-ho and Radel were the same person more lightly than now. While coldly rejecting Radel, in a corner of his mind he had considered them different. Even though they were ultimately the same person.

How worthless must he have considered him when he didn’t even see him as human, while claiming to love him and doing whatever he wanted? Confirming that was horrifying, and the more they talked, the more miserable it became. The guy seemed to have stopped reading thoughts knowing that too.

“…I’ll ask one more time, In-woo.”

“What.”

“Wouldn’t it be better for you if I abandoned Radel and remained as Lee Sun-ho?”

“No.”

In-woo was sick of the tiresome question. Radel, trying desperately to resolve the situation somehow, had no intention of letting Kim In-woo go.

Stay by Kim In-woo’s side as Lee Sun-ho? Such words didn’t sound the least bit tempting. To him, ‘Radel’ was something he could easily discard despite being himself. It was just the act of throwing away something relatively trivial to gain something better.

In-woo suddenly realized he was weighing the significance of every action.

Did he want to compare, measure, and get revenge for what he’d suffered?

No, it was slightly different.

Kim In-woo recalled Rudy, whom he had killed with his own hands long ago, and the stories Rudy had told him.

Rudy had been poached as a child and was kept by aliens for 15 years.

After first being poached, Rudy was passed around various places in space, receiving harsh treatment. To the aliens, Rudy was just a worthless creature without any special characteristics.

The one who bought Rudy, who had been suffering like that, was a Helbanes who pitied his situation. The Helbanes are mostly beautiful and gentle. The entire race had a nature that extremely disliked conflict. Buying Rudy was also out of sympathy for a small living being.

The reason they hadn’t perished in a universe of constant war despite their aversion to war was that the Helbanes, based on their extremely high intelligence, had contributed to early space exploration and secured positions in the upper class.

The most famous shipbuilding company in the universe was owned by the Helbanes. Rudy was passed to the young youngest daughter of that family. Usually it would have ended with moderate sponsorship, but because Rudy was pretty and had a gentle personality, the parents gave him to their youngest daughter.

At that time, Rudy couldn’t properly remember his original name. His new young master gave him a name herself. ‘Rudy’ was actually named after her most cherished doll.

Rudy’s master adored him tremendously. Being a wealthy and kind master, she lavished both affection and money without restraint. Unlike previous masters, she never hit or scolded him, always showing love and adoration.

After living like friends until Rudy’s master had fully grown up, she naturally drew Rudy into her bed.

It was an all too natural progression for Rudy to fall in love with her. His savior. A beautiful and kind woman who was always with him.

Having fallen truly in love, Rudy served his master devotedly day and night. He showed loyalty as if ready to give his life. Rudy found satisfaction in his life serving his master. It was happiness that lasted exactly 3 years.

The problem arose when Rudy’s master became engaged. Naturally, her partner couldn’t understand and was jealous of the male who stayed with his fiancée.

In the end, Rudy’s master decided to send Rudy elsewhere. She didn’t even hesitate much to send away Rudy, who had stayed by her side for over ten years, who had shared her bed for three years.

Still, having raised him with affection, Rudy’s master tried to send him somewhere good. But her fiancé, who was jealous of Rudy, pulled some strings.

Though what happened afterward to Rudy’s master and her fiancé is unknown, Rudy, through the fiancé’s schemes, was passed between bad masters before finally entering Lampresh’s training facility. With his small build and pretty features, Rudy was the weakest in the facility. His master Lampresh and the men at the facility treated Rudy like a toy.

Even while being abused, Rudy longed for his master. After all, she had been the one who saved him when he was being abused before. Rudy wished to serve her again, dreaming that she would come pick him up again someday. That was the greatest happiness Rudy could dream of.

To the abandoned Rudy, In-woo who received the master’s favor was an object of envy and jealousy. At the same time, he condemned In-woo for not accepting the master’s favor.

No matter how much Rudy’s master had cherished him, she had never treated Rudy as human. Though she described it as an equal relationship, to a third party’s eyes it was just pet-keeping.

Even abandoning a pet animal is a sin. If she had thought of Rudy as an equal being for even a moment, she could never have cast him aside like that. To her, Rudy was just a delicate toy.

Even after being treated like that, Rudy still longed for his master like a pitiful, foolish dog. So much that he wanted to throw away his life if he couldn’t meet her.

That’s why In-woo killed Rudy.

Certainly, Rudy had asked to be killed first. Looking back now, it was an absurd proposal.

But In-woo at that time wasn’t in his right mind either. He had been confused by what the people at the facility and Rudy were saying. They constantly fed him words about how In-woo was impudently defying a good master. They spoke as if In-woo was wrong, and even while truly believing he wasn’t wrong, In-woo turned their words over in his mind.

Rudy’s words pulled the trigger on In-woo’s anxiety. Rudy was the very example of a model human serving a good master. That blind devotion looked like his own future.

Rudy was a fool who had fallen in love with the being who had kept him as a pet while abandoning his humanity. It would be better to die while still having even a shred of human pride.

That’s what he thought.

That you would be better off dead.

Actually, at that time he had planned to kill Rudy and then himself. Though he cowardly couldn’t die because he feared death. He should have just died right then.

The current Kim In-woo’s situation resembled Rudy’s as if reflected in a mirror. Having fallen in love with Radel who had treated him like a toy, still unable to let go completely even at this moment…

Radel reads others’ minds and sees through to their true feelings. His words are right. Kim In-woo no longer wanted to live. Now he felt he could throw away his life without hesitation.

But Radel won’t allow In-woo’s death. Even if In-woo tries to die, Radel will somehow keep him breathing. Just as it had been very easy to restore Radel to his original state when his stomach had been completely torn up, In-woo’s suicide would be impossible unless Radel allowed it.

If he couldn’t even die…

“Just make me forget instead…”

If only Kim In-woo’s own memories could be erased. If he could just stupidly close his eyes and ears, wouldn’t that be better?

Radel reached out to the despairing In-woo. As soon as his fingertips touched In-woo’s head, In-woo fell into sleep as if collapsing.