For the first time in a while, I slept deeply without even dreaming.

In-woo who woke from sleep blankly looked around after sitting up before leisurely yawning. The anxious mornings of waking up as though he were being chased by something intangible every day disappeared due to Radel’s presence in one corner of the house.

After washing up and changing clothes, In-woo left the room. Then he walked around the fairly spacious house looking for where Radel might be. He thought he would be sleeping in the living room, but unexpectedly the place Radel was sleeping was the study.

The study was originally a place where he often spent time with Sun-ho. It was a place with that many memories steeped in it. Thanks to not destroying up to here that day, it was a place where most traces of the two people remained.

Both he and In-woo liked books. In-woo developed the habit of reading in the cage, and he… started enjoying it while spending time by In-woo’s side reading to learn human habits.

Radel was asleep with his body crumpled on the sofa where the two of them would read books and sometimes cling together. Though it was quite late, he showed no signs of waking.

Originally Arkeans sleep for about three to four hours. But Kim Cheol-soo had informed beforehand that Radel would lack energy for a while due to the aftereffects of forcibly suppressing his rut.

In-woo quietly stared at his haggard but comfortable-looking face unlike days ago.

Rut. What he had only guessed while reading Radel’s journal, he now knew in more detail. The various aspects of Radel that he had only speculated about from the journal, he could now learn directly. If he could talk face to face like this…

“…”

Yes, that would be nice. In-woo stared blankly at Radel’s sleeping face before his gaze fell on something that had dropped under the sofa.

It was Radel’s human observation journal that Raseti and Ezel had translated and printed.

The thing that had triggered his anger, and made him understand Radel again.

For the entire past year since Radel disappeared, it felt like constantly searching for a wallet that should obviously be somewhere in the house when running late for an appointment to go out. Radel’s presence that only slightly showed traces while never being caught in In-woo’s hands drove In-woo crazy.

While thinking that Radel who had persistently and forcefully pushed and obsessed over him wouldn’t completely abandon him, anxiety would suddenly come wondering if he had left not caring about a worthless human. At first, he was confused whether he wanted Radel to leave or wanted him to come back. But as time passed more and more, loneliness invaded In-woo and he became dominated by longing.

Kim In-woo, who was backed into a corner, needed something to hold onto. Among what remained to him, this journal was what could best help him know ‘Radel’ rather than Lee Sun-ho.

For the past year, Kim In-woo read, and read, and read again the records Radel left behind. Each and every letter, not missing anything, carefully. Like someone trying to engrave all of Radel’s thoughts in his mind.

Starting to read the journal at first was half out of spite. Since he had shown his rock bottom to him, he wanted to see the other’s rock bottom too. Of course, the once-filtered record wasn’t as raw as In-woo’s exposed innermost feelings, but the journal written without considering others reading it faithfully described Radel’s heart in its own way.

The sentences read when Radel was despairing, when he missed him, when he resigned himself left different impressions each time. The journal that had only awakened anger started being read differently at some point.

The observation journal was the entire process of Radel who found humans bothersome, recognizing In-woo as an individual, being swayed by that, and eventually falling for him.

Foolishly, the more he read, the more visible Radel’s growing affection became. Because Radel too, like himself, learned that his lover was the only one in the world. Because he learned that the arrogant being above his head was an imperfect partner with wounds like himself. After turning it over and over in his mind, ridiculously coming to hold both hatred and affection simultaneously…

The record still held onto In-woo’s ankle along with the long years as an unforgettable lover. The past bound In-woo as if it was something that could never be shaken off. And so, In-woo came to want to hold onto the past. While continuing to dream of Radel coming, he waited and waited.

And now, Radel has come to Kim In-woo’s side.

An unforgivable lover. But a lover he can’t help but love is now by In-woo’s side.

How far will Radel’s current submissive attitude go? Maybe he’s already reading In-woo’s inner thoughts. In-woo couldn’t trust Radel. Because they weren’t beings with equal power.

Affection and hatred, and trust that can never be complete again.

The relationship was broken once. What’s broken can never return to its original state. It can only be restored to something close to the original form.

Just how much it can be returned to is an unknown territory. Just how much will this resentment and anger subside? Will he be able to fully accept him as his lover again? How much time will it take to get there…

Being an ordinary human, In-woo can’t know without experiencing it directly. That’s why he wants to test it. When facing the other while exposing his inner feelings without holding back, how much will Radel accept him? When will this current state of being unbothered by cold treatment return to how it was before? All of it.

Maybe Radel knows all of In-woo’s current thoughts and plans and is going along with them. But if you start doubting everything like that there’s no end. This man who was Kim In-woo’s lover, or according to Radel is still his lover in present tense… is actually too enormous for In-woo to handle, in many ways.

So for now In-woo decided to live according to his heart. Right now he’ll freely express his anger, and then… maybe there will be some change.

It was time to focus on reality now. Throwing away old records and the past, time to watch the Radel of the present.

In-woo picked up the human observation journal that had been his anchor during his year of wandering. Time to part with such things now.

“…Huh?”

In-woo, who had picked it up without much thought, looked down at the unfamiliar texture different from the familiar paper. Though not very noticeable on the white paper, some kind of white marks had dried on it.

“…”

In-woo glared at Radel who had stashed a year’s worth of memories in a strange place, then threw away the paper he had preciously kept. Memories or whatever, that’s going to recycling. No, it’s not even worth recycling. Should just burn it.

Taking a deep breath to avoid getting angry, In-woo shook Radel.

“Radel.”

The moment his name was called, the man, who had been in a deep sleep, opened his eyes as though breaking free from an enchantment. Though his face had grown familiar from countless appearances in dreams, its flawless, sculpted beauty was still striking and hard to accept. His clear, luminous eyes, so out of place for someone with a history of battlefield carnage and a twisted personality, blinked slowly before softening into gentle curves.

“Kim In-woo…”

With eyes drunk on love, Radel reached out to In-woo. Though he had intended to make something clear, In-woo was pulled by Radel and ended up lying together on the sofa. Radel, who pressed down on In-woo from above, leaned down and kissed him. When the soft tongue parted his lips and dug inside, his body stiffened with excitement enough to make his hair stand on end.

“Ugh, mm…”

Radel’s hand dug inside In-woo’s clothes. When the hot body temperature touched bare skin, In-woo finally came to his senses. When he roughly pushed Radel away, the slightly moved man frowned.

“…Ah.”

Had he thought it was a dream? Radel who recognized it was reality obediently withdrew. Though momentarily tempted by the sweet sensation, he couldn’t give in. Honestly since Radel was too good, if he pushed physically there was a high chance In-woo would helplessly give in.

In-woo quietly stared at Radel who had withdrawn obediently before opening his mouth.

“Make some food.”

…Though it somehow made him feel like an incompetent head of household who doesn’t even cook, he was hungry. The android’s cooking was good too but clearly, he had become too accustomed to this man.

“Okay.”

Even to words that were cold if you could call them that, Radel answered obediently.