October 21st

This morning, I suggested another round to In-woo but got kicked instead. He banned me from using my “thing” for a month. I told him that since I’m a crazy bastard with no self-control regarding s*xual desire, he might as well cut it off.

Truthfully, I wouldn’t mind. Though I enjoy it with In-woo, it’s not everything. I’d willingly get castrated if he wanted, as atonement.

In-woo angrily rejected this idea, declaring my body as his property, with my “thing” accounting for 20% of my worth. He insisted I take care of it.

I wondered about the remaining 80%. Surely my face was worth 20%, personality maybe 30%? I’m good to him, after all.

But In-woo said my face was actually a minus, and my personality only 5%. He complained my face was annoyingly handsome and my personality perverted. When I asked about the remaining 75%, he claimed I had no other value but he kept me around due to his own kindness.

Well, objectively speaking, In-woo can be terrible too, but he’s good to me. Like how I’m a good boyfriend despite my flaws.

He told me not to record this silly conversation, but I’m doing it anyway. His rambling is too adorable.

***

November 4th

In-woo and I went to the movies today.

We rarely went to cinemas since his rise to fame. The crowds were uncomfortable, and I hated seeing fans swarm him.

I should be less sensitive about fans liking him… but honestly, I hate it. It infuriates me when people touch him in uncontrolled settings. Though that’s not an issue anymore…

When he suggested an evening movie, I assumed it was a late showing. I complained about the short notice, but when he threatened to go alone, I quickly followed.

Outside, he wore a cap but walked casually. Despite his attempt to hide, anyone looking closely could recognize Kim In-woo.

His fame had grown enormously after his recent movie. His face appeared on advertisements everywhere.

When someone inevitably recognized him, I used my ability to make everyone oblivious to his presence. The potential crowd vanished.

In-woo gave me a strange, scared look but then boldly removed his cap. Nothing changed, of course, as we were still within my ability’s range. He watched my anxious expression silently.

The movie was sci-fi, my favorite genre. Usually, they’re either like fairy tales or comedies, but today I couldn’t focus, too aware of In-woo beside me. He remained absorbed in the film.

Afterward, he walked bare-faced through the crowded street, no disguise in sight. As sunset painted the city, he looked at me.

“It’s nice,” he said simply before walking ahead. I stood stunned before hurrying after him.

His first positive comment about my ability. I thought he’d always reject everything about me…

Could this be progress?

It’s okay, right, In-woo?

***

November 10th

We visited Jeju Island.

I planned the itinerary to mirror our first trip together, though some things were different.

Twenty-eight-year-old In-woo reacted very differently from his twenty-two-year-old self. The inexperienced young man who’d never left his hometown couldn’t respond like the seasoned actor who now traveled internationally.

On the plane, In-woo admitted his nervousness during our first trip wasn’t about flying, but about having s*x with me.

Such a bold statement in public… I quickly checked if anyone heard, while In-woo laughed at my reaction.

…He’s really changed.

We took a self-driving car at his suggestion, just like before. No need to waste energy driving.

Following our original itinerary after checking in, I noticed how the once-excitable In-woo now calmly observed the scenery. Everything was similar, yet he was different.

Though still young to me, his maturity brought tears to my eyes, surprising us both. His panic at my tears caught me off guard too. My ability to express emotions freely suggested my depression was improving…

I cried because he was aging too quickly. Even with life-prolonging treatments, humans die too soon. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. I’d end my life when his ends.

In-woo didn’t question my tears or offer comfort. He simply held me until I calmed down.

His embrace deepened my love, making me cry more. Despite his lingering resentment and fear, he’d accepted me back. He was gradually trying to accept me more.

Finally calming in his arms, I saw his smile before he released me. We walked side by side.

Unlike that spring day, November’s sea breeze was cold. In-woo wore layers instead of light clothing.

I imagined his bare white feet, wanting to kiss and taste every inch of him.

Dinner differed this time. In-woo chose the hotel restaurant nearby. The once-voracious eater now ate leisurely before retiring to our room, tired.

Following our original itinerary, we should be having s*x now. But with his month-long ban on my “thing,” I couldn’t… or shouldn’t…

Hmm.

He’s been in the shower a while. Having cleared the “frigid” accusation, maybe it’s time to address being “clueless” too.

***

November 12th

I’m “clueless” again.

Getting carried away, I knotted In-woo and got beaten for it.

His words and actions are rougher now compared to when he was with Lee Sun-ho, perhaps from pent-up frustration. He calls me names, hits me, steps on me… It’s cute because I know he means no harm.

The problem is, it excites me during s*x. I might be developing new interests… Should we try it properly next time? I’ve tied him up before, when I was in control…

He seemed to enjoy being tied up… and spanked too. I was gentle. But now he might fear it, remembering the cage incident. So we’ll reverse roles – he’ll tie me up. Maybe some restraint play?

Technology has advanced in pleasure devices too. I could bring things far beyond Earth’s toys.

But I don’t want anything else inside In-woo. Only I should pleasure him, make him climax. Only I should taste his soft skin.

Simple is best.

In-woo said not to write lewd things, but these are personal thoughts. It’s my diary – why need permission? Though I did promise absolute obedience…