August 14th, Clear ☀

Lampresh asked me why I haven’t given the human a name. I didn’t answer.

Lately, I’ve been thinking that I wanted to know the name my human originally had. Of course, I know it’s a strange thought. But I was still curious.

What name did the human originally have? What were they called, and how did they live…

I miss the human. Not just watching through videos, but I want to handle them and feed them like before. Or fall asleep together.

But the human seems to really enjoy spending time with Rudy. Much more than when they were in my cage. Humans must be better off with other humans after all.

***

August 28th, Cloudy ☁

I think my depression is getting worse. When I didn’t respond to the Center’s calls, Ezel came to see me with my primary physician. The physician was very concerned about why my depression, which had been improving, suddenly worsened again.

I knew the reason. It was because of the human’s absence.

After looking around the house for a while, Ezel noticed the human was gone. When they asked if I had killed them, I said I’d sent them to the training facility temporarily, and Ezel got angry at me, asking if I was really acting like this because the human was gone.

Ezel, despite being the one who gave me the human in the first place, told me to get rid of them immediately. They yelled at me, saying humans only live about a hundred years, and even with life extension surgery, they can’t live more than 200-300 years – were you planning to die along with the human when they die?

I don’t understand why they’re so angry. When I told them to shut up and get lost, Ezel’s face turned bright red.

Ezel said they would rather kill the human than watch me stupidly dying. So I warned them that it would be wise to check the mental barriers of the current Sovereign and military officials first. Though it wouldn’t be difficult for me to break through those barriers and make them all commit suicide anyway.

At my words, Ezel couldn’t contain their anger and left after just yelling. I had been tolerating their rudeness considering their past as my guardian during my childhood, but perhaps I’ve been too lenient.

***

September 1st, Rainy ☂

I don’t like Rudy.

Rudy uses my human as an emotional garbage dump (that’s a rough translation. Interesting word.). Once a day, Rudy cries and pleads something to my human. My human, being a pushover, just listens quietly.

I sent the human to the training facility so they could be at peace, not to clean up after someone else’s mess.

Lately, the human looks tired, and I miss them too, so I think it might be better to bring them back soon.

***

September 6th, Cloudy ☁

The human strangled Rudy to death.

I’m not sure exactly what happened. Everything seemed peaceful on the surface. Except that Rudy was whining more than usual.

Since a serious anomaly occurred, I couldn’t leave it alone.

I immediately retrieved the human from the training facility and brought them home. The human is holed up in the small house in the cage, not moving at all. They’ve thrown up three times so far and won’t eat or drink anything.

***

September 9th, Clear ☀

Even though I’m forcibly giving the human nutrients, there’s still no response. I tried to help them m*sturbate, but they didn’t respond at all. It’s like they’re not a living being but [word appears to have been erased].

***

September 10th, Cloudy ☁

If by any chance the human dies…

No, I can keep them from dying. It’s simple to just keep them breathing. But that’s not what I want.

***

September 12th, Clear ☀

I’ve thought carefully about this for several days. It’s truly insane and ridiculous, but after careful consideration, I’ve decided.

I’ll look into the human’s mind and become their ‘friend’ myself.

When they first met Strawberry, when they spent time with Rudy, the human was clearly happy. Though the results were always bad, the human definitely enjoyed being with others. The human needs their own kind, needs friends.

But I’m afraid of putting another human beside them in case something like Rudy happens again. So the best solution is for me, who is safe, to become the human’s friend.

While it took a lot of deliberation to make the decision, once decided, there was no need to hesitate.

First, to become a good friend to the human, I decided to look into their mind. That way, I could understand everything about what the human likes and dislikes. I could learn human culture and language, and could even disguise myself with an appropriate appearance based on the human’s preferences.

It was laughable that I was breaking my self-imposed taboo just to save one pet human, but I had no choice.

Having barely eaten or drunk anything, the human was dying. Of course, there were plenty of ways to force-feed them, but that wasn’t enough.

The human might have developed depression. Even lower beings must have their own worries. Though I doubt it’s as fatal as our depression, I could sense their mind turning pitch black even without looking inside.

I cannot let the human die.

Let’s watch them for one more day, and if there’s no improvement by tomorrow, I’ll examine their memories right away.

***

September 13th, Cloudy ☁

So <f*ck> wasn’t a greeting but a curse word.

…….

I was so shocked that my whole body ached. I’ll rest a bit and continue examining tomorrow.

***

September 14th, Clear ☀

My human’s name was Kim In-woo.

I examined all of Kim In-woo’s past memories. I read too deeply and experienced emotional synchronization, which is giving me a headache.

For now, I’ll record what I read here.

——————

Kim In-woo had a difficult life.

His father was violent, and his mother had left home long ago, tired of the violent father. Young Kim In-woo, without a guardian, couldn’t resist.

He was bullied at school. Kim In-woo, who had been taking it quietly, snapped in his second year of high school and beat up one of his tormentors. The school was in chaos. During the disciplinary process, the fact that Kim In-woo had been consistently beaten for half a year wasn’t considered. Because the other party’s parents were rich, and Kim In-woo was poor.

Kim In-woo barely avoided expulsion. However, he ended up dropping out anyway. Along with that, he left home too.

Afterward, Kim In-woo started working at a restaurant that provided room and board. The owner there repeatedly sexually harassed him. Having learned from his experience of being kicked out of school, he endured it even when he got angry enough to want to throw a punch.

When there seemed to be no hope, a regular customer proposed modeling work to Kim In-woo. The customer introduced himself as a director at an entertainment agency. He said that after modeling, if Kim In-woo did well, he could even try acting.

Kim In-woo, who had no education, received modeling fees equivalent to a week’s worth of work for just one day. Apparently, Kim In-woo, who I find pretty, was pretty by Earth standards too. His work went quite well, and somehow he became interested in acting and entered the path of an actor by taking minor roles.

Unexpectedly, Kim In-woo found acting fun. He had unforeseen talent too. For the first time, he had a dream. A dream of becoming a proper actor.

But Kim In-woo fell once more.

The director who had first helped him debut as a model proposed sponsorship. He said if Kim In-woo refused, he would have to repay all the investment money and penalty fees at once. It was essentially blackmail rather than a proposal.

Instead of forcing him, the director sweet-talked Kim In-woo. Hadn’t he endured at the restaurant? He just needed to endure this too. He could become successful in an instant.

To make matters worse, his father, who had caught a glimpse of Kim In-woo on TV, showed up too. He blackmailed Kim In-woo. He joined forces with the director to force the sponsorship.

Kim In-woo thought there was no hope in his f*cking life.

Kim In-woo headed to the Han River. He sat for a long time watching the flowing water. He wasn’t really going to jump. Though he did think that maybe it would be better to end this f*cking life.

And before Kim In-woo could do anything, he was poached right there.

Kim In-woo was sold quickly and at a high price at the auction. He had wanted to die rather than sell his body, but ended up being sold anyway.

Then he came to me.

In Kim In-woo’s eyes, I was terror itself. A ruthless and cruel bastard. Kim In-woo thought I was just playing with him. He had nightmares several times about me crushing him to death. He found it horrifying whenever he felt any positive emotions toward me. When he felt my touch, he felt shame and felt his humanity crumbling.

Everything about me was a nightmare to Kim In-woo.

——————

I didn’t read the contents from the training facility after this because I felt too much resistance.