Warm sunlight streamed through the window, spilling over the bed. When Cynthia opened her eyes, she found herself lying on the second-floor bed—the same one where everything had happened yesterday. The bedding was fresh and clean, and her body was in a neat, well-cared-for state. It was undoubtedly Ezekiel’s doing.  

She carefully surveyed the room, her heart pounding slightly. Fortunately, it seemed she was alone.  

Did what happened last night really happen? 

Looking at the peaceful, quiet room, it all felt like a dream. But the moment she sat up, a dull ache spread through her waist and certain unspeakable places. The pain confirmed it—everything that happened yesterday was real.  

She needed to leave this villa. Now.  

If yesterday’s events were real, she didn’t have the courage to face Ezekiel. How could she? Her and Ezekiel? The man who had avoided her gaze for ten years? She couldn’t even begin to fathom why he had done such a thing.  

Clutching her aching waist, Cynthia opened the door and stepped out. She moved cautiously, walking on tiptoes to avoid making any noise. She paused near the stairs, straining to hear any sounds, but the villa was silent. There were no signs of anyone else inside.  

As she crept down the stairs, her mind raced. She thought of 99 different things she could say if she ran into Ezekiel, each one more awkward than the last. But she kept moving, step by careful step, hoping she could slip away unnoticed.

Fortunately, there was no one on the stairs, in the living room, or in the kitchen. Cynthia made her way straight to the front door and began running frantically. Anywhere was fine—anywhere, as long as it was far away from Ezekiel.  

She sprinted along the beach, heading toward the back of the villa. Her whole body ached and protested with every step, but she didn’t care. It was still far better than having to face Ezekiel. 

Physical pain was a hundred—no, a thousand—times more bearable than the emotional turmoil she felt.  

After running for a while, she finally stopped when the villa was nothing more than a distant dot on the horizon. Only then did Cynthia collapse onto the beach.  

The sand, warmed by the sunlight, felt comforting beneath her. She vaguely remembered the maids once giving her a hot sand massage, and this warmth reminded her of that time. 

Sitting there on the sunlit beach, watching the waves gently recede, seemed to soothe her chaotic heart. Slowly, her tangled thoughts began to settle.  

Yesterday, Ezekiel had told her he loved her.  

The memory of his words replayed in her mind, over and over. Everything about last night felt like a whirlwind, but that one sentence stood out, piercing her like an arrow.  

Ezekiel loved her?  

It was something she had abandoned all hope of long ago—since she turned fifteen, in fact. She had long accepted it as an impossibility, something that wouldn’t happen even if the world came to an end. 

At first, she tried to deny it, but as the years passed, her doubt turned into certainty. That certainty became an unshakable truth in her heart.  

But now, was all of that false?

There were too many unresolved issues for her to accept Ezekiel’s words at face value. From the way he never called her name, to how he consistently avoided her, and even his confession to Duke Diana’s daughter—how could she believe his confession when none of these things had been properly addressed? 

No matter how much she tried to piece it together, she couldn’t make sense of it.  

Perhaps it would be better to confront Ezekiel directly rather than agonize over it alone like this… but the thought of hearing his answers terrified her. 

At times, she desperately wanted him to explain everything, to lay it all bare, yet at other times, she wished he would stay silent forever.  

“Cynthia!”  

Either way, she wasn’t ready to face him right now. She heard his voice calling her name from afar, but instead of responding, Cynthia pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face between them.  

Conflicting emotions churned inside her. Part of her hoped Ezekiel wouldn’t find her, that he would keep searching elsewhere. Yet another part of her longed for him to recognize her, to come running to her side without hesitation.  

For now, though, she decided to side with the former. She didn’t have the courage to face him just yet. If only he could pretend not to see her—just for a little while longer.

“Cynthia.”  

Ezekiel found her.  

How? It hadn’t even been an hour since she ran out of the villa, yet here he was. Cynthia’s heart froze as she saw his feet approaching her. Ezekiel’s feet. She couldn’t fail to recognize them—she had been looking at them for over ten years. But it wasn’t just his feet. Cynthia was sure she could identify any part of Ezekiel in an instant.  

When she didn’t lift her head, she felt him carefully kneeling in front of her. Was he an idiot? 

She was sitting so close to the ocean that if she stretched out her legs when the waves came in, her feet would touch the water. If he knelt there like that, he was bound to get soaked.  

Why did he always make her worry like this? 

His sudden appearance, his confession of love, and everything that had happened last night—it was all too much. It left her feeling restless in ways she couldn’t understand.  

Irritated, Cynthia finally lifted her head, only to find Ezekiel staring at her with a surprised expression. His eyes scanned her face as if he were trying to figure out if she had been crying or if she was hurt.  

Only after confirming that she was fine did his face relax into its usual calm expression.

“Cynthia, I was worried because you suddenly disappeared.”

“…”

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Your Holiness.”

“…Yes, Cynthia.”

“I have something to ask you.”

Cynthia felt like her head might explode. Right, it seemed better to just ask Ezekiel like this. Cynthia turned her gaze toward the ocean and asked her question in a very small voice.

“How did you find this place?”

“…”

“I don’t understand why Your Holiness is here.”

“…Didn’t I tell you to restrain yourself?”

“Restrain?”

Come to think of it, when she last went to attend mass, she seemed to have heard something like that. But it was long ago, and since she had consciously tried to erase memories related to the temple, her memory was hazy. 

When she searched her memory at Ezekiel’s words, she quickly remembered. When she let out an “Ah” of realization, Ezekiel’s arms around her tightened even more.

“You asked what I meant by restraining yourself.”

“Ah, yes. I think I did…”

“I was telling myself to restrain.”

“…What?”

“I was telling myself to restrain from getting aroused and making my c*ck hard every time I saw Cynthia.”

“…What?”

“Just smelling Cynthia’s scent like this makes my c*ck twitch… I had no choice but to restrain myself.”

Nothing Ezekiel said was getting through to her head. So what was… why… what happened…? Cynthia was dazed, just quietly listening to what Ezekiel was saying. 

She couldn’t understand what Ezekiel was saying. When Cynthia said nothing and stayed still, Ezekiel looked quietly into Cynthia’s eyes and continued speaking.

“Cynthia.”

“Yes, Your Holiness.”

“Were you really going to abandon me and get married?”

“Who… abandon who…?”

“Cynthia, who would be precious no matter what adjectives in the world we attached to her.”

“Me?”

“Abandoning me, who acted like sh*t without knowing my place.”

“What?”

When Cynthia’s eyes widened in surprise, Ezekiel kissed both her eyes, seemingly unable to bear even that. The sound of the kiss embarrassingly echoed between the two of them. What on earth was this about? 

For 10 years, she was the one who had a one-sided love for Ezekiel, and Ezekiel only pushed her away, didn’t he?

“I don’t understand what Your Holiness is talking about.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I followed you around saying I liked you, you never gave me a single glance, so I don’t understand why you’re doing this now.”

“Never gave you a single glance?”

“Yes, always…”

“…”

“Always.”

She felt like crying. She thought she had cried all the tears she could cry over the past three months, but she felt like crying again. How mysterious the human body was. 

But she didn’t want to cry in front of Ezekiel. When Cynthia bit her teeth and held back tears, Ezekiel gently touched Cynthia’s lips. Along with warm words about her lips getting hurt.

“It’s all my fault.”

“…”

“Actually…”

Ezekiel trailed off like he was contemplating. Then he maintained silence for a long time before finally continuing to speak.

“I fell in love from the first day I saw you.”

“…”

“But I tried to turn away from those feelings. Because the Pope is a position that cannot marry, isn’t it? I didn’t want to place you under the mere names of mistress or lover. How could I put such a sparkling Cynthia under such vulgar names?”

“…”

“So I kept turning away from my feelings. Because you were sufficient to meet a better man, have a legal marriage with that man, and build a beautiful life. What am I to bind you under such names? I hated even the thought of you being on other people’s lips.”

Ezekiel spoke in a voice like he was making a confession. It felt strange that the man said to be closest to God was kneeling before her. And on a beach full of nothing but sand at that.

“But… every time I saw that Michael fellow close to you, every time I heard stories that you two would marry, I felt like I’d go crazy. Especially the first day you came wearing a veil…”

“…”

“It seemed like that veil was from a wedding dress…”

Ezekiel carefully reached for Cynthia’s hand. His hand was trembling. He clung desperately like Cynthia’s hand was salvation itself.

“Still, I thought I shouldn’t hold back a young lady with a bright future. Even taking the Cynthia who appeared in my dreams every night wasn’t enough…”

“What…?”

“The debut ball too. I was originally going to send the High Priest. Because I didn’t know what I might do if I encountered you. But when I heard your partner was Michael, I said I had to go. And that day, the Cynthia I met at the debut ball was so cute, lovely, and beautiful…”

“…”

“You asked me if you were pretty that day. Yes, dare I say, you were the most beautiful thing I’ve seen since I was born into this world. So beautiful that the crude word ‘beautiful’ couldn’t express it. Even if we brought all the most noble adjectives in the world, they wouldn’t be worthy of Cynthia.”

“…”

“So that day, I was greedy. Yes, I shamelessly laid hands on your body. On the very day I told you to restrain yourself.”

Ezekiel fidgeted with Cynthia’s palm. Then he brought his head to Cynthia’s palm and continued speaking.

“I thought that day. This couldn’t continue. I wanted to place my name alongside your name. So I thought about ways to officially stand beside you.”

“Officially?”

“…I was going to amend the law so the Pope could marry. By pressuring the Crown Prince.”

She was speechless at such a sudden development. Making it so the Pope could marry too? By pressuring the Crown Prince no less? Was that even allowed? Before that, how would he pressure him?

“But while that Crown Prince b*stard was deliberating and considering. Cynthia…”

“Ba-b*stard?”

Cynthia couldn’t figure out which part to be surprised about. Should she be surprised that he called the Crown Prince a b*stard, or that Ezekiel used the word b*stard? Either way, it was different from the Ezekiel she had known until now.

“While I was wallowing in self-pity and acting like an idiot, you left. Leaving only news that you were marrying another man…”

What Ezekiel was saying didn’t feel realistic. Was Ezekiel being sincere? Cynthia looked at Ezekiel’s face. His face, which had always been peaceful, was completely distorted. Like someone whose heart had been pierced by an arrow, like a monarch facing an unwinnable war, like a commander with only the option of defeat remaining.

“It’s all my fault.”

“…”

“I know I should properly accept whatever decision you make. That you said you had organized all your feelings about me, that you no longer call my name – I know I should endure all of it…”

“…”

“But, so… what I most wanted to say is, Cynthia.”

Suddenly Ezekiel’s eyes sparkled. They were eyes that couldn’t help but be enchanting whenever she saw them. There was a time when she loved these pupils more than anything in the world. 

Thinking that made her heart heavy. Ezekiel sensitively noticed Cynthia’s emotions right away. Ezekiel’s gaze became even more desperate.

“That I love you.”

“…”

“Though I’m this selfish, dirty, and worthless, I dare to love you with such feelings.”

The person she had loved for over 10 years was kneeling before her making a confession. With a face that seemed to be begging for Cynthia’s affection, trembling hands like he was asking her not to abandon him.

“…If you tell me such things only now, I don’t know how I should react.”

“That’s a valid point.”

“I need time to organize my thoughts.”

“…”

“For now, shall we just watch the ocean together here? Your Holiness will need time to organize your thoughts too.”

With those words, Cynthia pulled Ezekiel toward her. Ezekiel’s pants were already soaked with seawater. Only after seating Ezekiel beside her could Cynthia take her eyes off him.

Though she understood what Ezekiel was saying with her head, it didn’t reach her heart. Ezekiel didn’t seem to be lying, but… 

The three months of suffering passed through her mind. She also remembered her parents’ faces full of tears and the maids’ worried faces. The last thing that came to mind was herself – Cynthia, who had tried for over 10 years to capture Ezekiel’s heart.

She felt complicated emotions. If she accepted his confession like this, would that be the end of it? 

Just when she had organized all her feelings and decided to live anew… She needed time to organize her thoughts. Whether her own feelings or Ezekiel’s feelings.

So Cynthia and Ezekiel sat by the beach quietly watching the waves. Until orange sunset filled the sky, until the sun disappeared and the world grew dark.