Look back.

Please, just look back at me once…

Ethan realized what he had wished for only after he had pleaded in his heart. He was hoping for something he shouldn’t dare wish for. He remembered his sins clearly. Just because the shackles were invisible didn’t mean his ankles were free.

A smoky haze rose from the guilt burning within him. Before he knew it, his vision blurred. Breathing was difficult.

‘Do you like me?’

No. I don’t like you. How could I dare to like you…

‘A man who can’t even properly say he likes me is utterly disqualified in my eyes.’

Disqualified for other reasons too.

Ethan suppressed the urge to tear out his heart with his own hands.

Hyacinth disappeared into the distance. Her departing figure was elegant and beautiful, and Ethan didn’t blink.

He watched her for a long, long time, forgetting the passage of time.

When he returned to the drawing room, Lady Chase was gone, whether fortunately or unfortunately. He didn’t know when or how she left. He just hoped she hadn’t seen him and Hyacinth standing alone together.

If she gossiped lightly, the one in trouble might not be him but Hyacinth…

If rumors spread.

He would have to deal with it.

Ethan engraved what he had to do into his dazed mind. To die as quickly as possible, he had to finish his tasks as quickly as possible. He hoped to see Lady Chase’s true face before he returned to Bremlin.

Suddenly, a cold voice cut through the silence like a dagger.

“I never thought you’d want to put a red-haired woman in the position of Duchess.”

“Not everything you spit out is a word. Don’t bark.”

“Oh, my wretched stepson. It was too obvious.”

“What was?”

“You like the red-haired woman.”

Ethan let out a dry laugh.

It was too funny that Bridget Erentis referred to Hyacinth as ‘the red-haired woman’ instead of by her name or title. He mocked her with a dry laugh.

“Sorry, Bridget Erentis. I don’t like Lady Laurel.”

Do I even have the right to like her?

He might have lusted after her. Maybe somewhere in the distant past. But he didn’t like her.

He could sacrifice his life for her, and he believed he should do anything for her smile. He was willing to do so, but this feeling wasn’t necessarily an obsession.

My most painful rose.

The most precious flower I almost had once but recklessly plucked and dried to death.

That’s all. Ethan Erentis knew his qualifications and position well. If a person has any shame and face, they shouldn’t do that…

Bridget Erentis’s face twisted into a grimace. She approached with fierce momentum and showed her left hand. Ethan, who had sighed lightly, recognized the ring on her ring finger and finally reacted meaningfully.

The signet ring of the Trisel family.

His jaw tightened. His furrowed brows were filled with annoyance and anger. In his murderous gaze, Bridget taunted him with composure.

“Don’t you want to give this? This?”

“Not at all.”

The thought was chilling. The mere imagination made Ethan shudder. One tragic event was enough. The experience of drying an innocent woman to death. The experience of burying his own child in the frozen ground with his own hands.

He hadn’t even been able to name the child…

“Really?”

“Give me the ring.”

Even if he wouldn’t give it to Hyacinth, he had to keep it. It was the keepsake of a woman who had died unjustly. Though it might have been too much to call it something she left behind, Ethan sincerely believed it was.

“Hand it over.”

“If you promise to give it to that woman.”

“Why are you suddenly fixated on Lady Laurel? Just hand over the ring instead of bothering innocent people.”

It was when Ethan approached Bridget Erentis with the determination to pull off one of her fingers. The woman nonchalantly took off the ring and, opening the window, threw it outside.

The very ring engraved with the crest of the Duchy of Trisel, which only the duchess could possess.

“What the…!”

Wasn’t she the woman who hadn’t taken off that ring for a single moment since she inherited it? At least, that’s how Ethan remembered it, and he couldn’t hide his momentary shock as he stared at Bridget.

“Take it.”

The woman smiled brightly.

In the spring garden where it was raining, the foliage was lush. With puddles and mud everywhere, finding the ring wouldn’t be easy.

“Why? Aren’t you desperate?”

Ethan raised an eyebrow. Judging by the way Bridget Erentis was stiffly raising her head and showing her neck, she seemed to want him to strangle her. If he followed through with her wishes, she’d probably go out tomorrow to a tea party or somewhere and proudly show off the marks on her neck.

Pretending to be a pitiful stepmother persecuted by her stepson.

He could see through the woman’s psychology now, which he couldn’t when he was younger. Her brown eyes mixed with subtle anticipation. How vicious and disgusting…

Just like my life.

As Bridget Erentis tried to step closer, Ethan let out a small laugh.

* * *

Hyacinth was fuming as she held an invitation in one hand. She regretted not slamming the invitation down on the table, but no matter how much she regretted it, the invitation in her hand wouldn’t disappear.

So what could she do?

She had to deliver it. Hyacinth trudged across the corridor. She walked even slower as she neared the drawing room assigned to the Duke of Trisel. It would be quite embarrassing to walk in and say, ‘I forgot to give you the invitation.’

As she was crawling slower than a newborn kitten, her gaze suddenly fixed on the window. It was a particularly gloomy spring rain in Tyche.

Just like my mood.

Hyacinth pouted and pretended to kick an imaginary stone. As she was dawdling, she suddenly had to run like mad.

Because she witnessed a scene through the window that should never have unfolded.

“Duke Trisel—!”

She pressed herself against the corridor window and looked down. Sure enough. The Duke was standing in the garden below, not holding an umbrella, and getting soaked by the heavy rain.

Is he crazy?

Hyacinth thought as she clenched the invitation as if she was about to crumple it. If she had seen correctly, the Duke had jumped out of the window. This was the third floor! Even if he was a well-trained knight! Had he finally gone mad?

It could disgrace Trisel and even Tyche, so what on earth was he doing! Hyacinth’s eyebrows twitched in anger. She didn’t know why he chose the window over the stairs, but she had an inkling of why he went into the garden.

He was frantically searching the garden, looking for something.

Pretend you don’t know.

A voice inside her warned.

Don’t get involved with that man. You don’t want to, do you? It was absolutely right. Hyacinth Hener never wanted to get entangled with Ethan Erentis. For reasons she couldn’t explain to others, but her heart was free, wasn’t it?

So she wanted to avoid Ethan Erentis as much as possible.

Fortunately, the man seemed to avoid her just as much, if not more.

So even now, she didn’t want to acknowledge him. No matter how desperately Ethan Erentis searched the garden below, it had nothing to do with her. But.

Hyacinth bit her lip.

An inexplicable irritation surged through her, shaking her head. She watched the man frantically searching around.
Continuously, endlessly, for a long time. Eventually, the rain would stop. The man would come in when he got tired of searching.

The you I knew wasn’t this pathetic.

Did I never really know you? When did your downfall start and when did it end?

Hyacinth released her bitten lip.

Sympathy was poison. Especially since it didn’t heal easily.

But unfortunately, Hyacinth didn’t know the antidote, and even as she watched the messy scene, she didn’t know how to turn away. She was educated as a member of the imperial family.

So she let out a short sigh and turned towards the stairs. The impatient Duke might have jumped out the window, but she didn’t want to do that. On her way down, she grabbed a servant and instructed them to deliver the invitation, then calmly headed to the garden.

Raindrops fell on the world beyond the umbrella. The water that soaked the earth was cold and harsh.

Mud clung to her skirt. Feeling the dirty, sticky sensation, Hyacinth resolved never to forgive Ethan Erentis easily. She wondered briefly if there was anything to forgive in the first place.

“Duke.”

At first, Ethan Erentis didn’t hear.

He was clawing at the ground with his muddy black hands. A grand duke who should always be arrogant, except before the King, was kneeling. She was curious about what object made the man so miserable.

“Your Highness, the Duke.”

“…”

“Your Highness, Duke of Trisel?”

There was no response.

The man, half-crawling and scraping the ground, was consumed by something. Negative emotions piled up, blocking his ears and stealing his words.

Fear. Sorrow. Guilt. And… desperation.

Emotions that grand dukes who lived comfortable lives would find hard to understand. Hyacinth recalled the scene where the man was slapped fiercely in public. The one who slapped him was none other than the Duchess of Trisel, his stepmother.

Hyacinth slowly moved to stand in front of the man.

Startled by the sudden appearance of a skirt, Ethan Erentis quickly lifted his head. Silver. Water was dripping between that annoying color of hair. It must have been because of the rain, but he looked like he was crying, and Hyacinth flinched reflexively.

The Duke, who hurriedly stood up as if he were about to fall, reached out to her. His whole body was trembling, almost convulsing. It was so intense that she could almost hear it.