Chapter 1.18

She must have dozed off again. When she opened her eyes, Karl Lavresion was no longer beside her. She adjusted her disheveled slip and threw on a long cardigan. Looking out the window, she saw the sun had already set. She had slept the entire day.  

Opening the door, she stepped outside. She encountered a maid walking down the hallway, and their eyes met. The maid bowed politely to her.  

“Good evening, Miss.”  

Judging by her appearance, the maid seemed to be from the Chevrem Empire.

Whose servant was she? 

Leticia wondered briefly before bowing her head in return. The maid looked visibly startled.  

“M-Miss, you don’t need to bow to me.”  

It seemed other nobles didn’t behave this way toward their servants. Feeling awkward, Leticia nodded and quickly walked past her.  

She had never received lessons in etiquette. Thus, she didn’t know how to properly treat those who served her.  

As she passed through the hallway and descended the stairs, she encountered another servant. This time, she simply gave a slight nod in response. There was no awkwardness like before.  

So this is how it’s done.

She learned something new. 

She wandered around the spacious villa, looking for Karl, but he was nowhere to be found.  

She had a feeling he might be by the lake. Stepping outside the villa, she shivered at the chilly breeze and pulled her cardigan tighter around herself. The lake wasn’t far from the villa. After a short walk, the lake came into view.  

As expected, Karl Lavresion was there. Under the setting sun, he was swimming in the lake with his shirt off.  

His broad shoulders moved powerfully as he swam, resembling a dolphin gliding through the sea. Though she had never seen a dolphin in real life—only in book illustrations—he truly reminded her of one.  

Despite the stark contrast between the blue lake and his red hair, he blended seamlessly with the water.  

After cutting through the lake for some time, he seemed to notice her standing at a distance on the shore. He began swimming toward her.  

As he drew closer, the water shallowed, and he stood up, waving his arms energetically at her.  

“Leti!”  

Now, his features were clearly visible. He was smiling broadly. The crinkled corners of his eyes and the sparkle in his gaze showed that his smile was genuine.  

Her heart sank with a heavy thud. As he came closer, she felt an urge to step back. The nearer he got, the more it felt like a giant monster was opening its jaws wide to swallow her whole.  

She didn’t want to be mistaken again. She didn’t want to have expectations. But, but…  

She fled from the monster’s gaping jaws. Her heart pounded wildly.  

“Leti!” 

He called her name loudly again, but she ignored him and ran back to the villa.  

Don’t call me by that nickname. Don’t smile at me like that. Don’t act so kind. Don’t light up your eyes as if you’re happy. Don’t wave at me. Don’t treat me so well…  

As she ran, she repeated these thoughts over and over in her mind. Tears welled up in her eyes.  

At last, she understood why her heart ached so much. She was a fool, an idiot, a complete simpleton.  

She had fallen for him, knowing full well what it would lead to. She had been enchanted despite knowing better. She had hoped and deluded herself, even while knowing it was all an illusion. And despite being aware of all this—despite the disappointment and pain—it was undeniable that she had given her heart to him.  

She didn’t know when it had started. All she knew was that Karl Lavresion’s smile, directed at her, had shaken her to her core.  

The villa came into view. She wanted to run inside immediately, but she was out of breath, and her pace slowed. Gasping for air, she clutched her chest.  

“Leti.”  

Before she knew it, he had caught up to her and grabbed her shoulder. Even as she felt the pain in her chest, she shoved him away forcefully.  

“What’s wrong? Is it because I went out alone?”  

“…”  

“I’m sorry. You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t want to wake you.”  

That wasn’t the reason. Her shoulders rose and fell with her labored breathing. He stepped in front of her.  

“Leti.”  

Karl Lavresion furrowed his brow.  

“Did I make you cry?”  

Only then did she realize she was crying. His words made her aware of her tears. Perhaps she hadn’t noticed because she had been running. She raised her hand to wipe her eyes, and her fingertips came away wet with tears.  

Tears kept falling, no matter how much she wiped them away. Instead, they began to pour out as if to mock her efforts. A sob escaped through her lips, unintentional even at that moment.

She buried her face in her hands and cried aloud. Her tear glands never obeyed her commands.

She resented Karl Lavresion. She hated herself for being so foolish. Her stupidity was unbearable.

Karl Lavresion wrapped his arms around her. He gently patted her back.

“Leti.”

No. She would misunderstand again.

She tried to push him away. However, he didn’t budge. Instead, he held her even tighter. Stroking her back, he spoke softly.

“I don’t know why you’re crying, but….”

“….”

“Seeing you cry makes me feel strange.”

He murmured, almost as if to himself.

“It feels like my heart is aching.”

She was falling into a misunderstanding again.

“So don’t cry, Leti.”

She wanted to scream at him not to call her by that nickname, not to hold her, not to act so kind toward her. But no words came out. Only hiccupping breaths escaped her throat.

In truth, she knew. The problem wasn’t Karl Lavresion—it was herself.

Even at the slightest kindness he showed, her heart was stolen. Even though she knew he was naturally a kind person, even though she knew he didn’t desire a serious relationship with her, she still hoped for more affection. She knew he would have acted the same way with any other woman, not just her.

She couldn’t blame him. Ultimately, the problem was her.

Even though it was her own heart, she couldn’t control it. If only she could manipulate her feelings at will, how wonderful would that be? But it was impossible. Neither her tear glands nor her heart obeyed her.

In the end, she buried her cheek against his chest and cried like a child. She had already fallen for him.

This feeling would likely not disappear easily. It never had before.

***

Even after realizing her feelings, their relationship didn’t change. It remained the same. She simply tried not to let him notice her emotions. She deliberately ignored him and tried not to think about him. But all of it was in vain. In the end, her gaze always found its way to him, and the more she tried not to think about him, the more he filled her thoughts. Each time, she fell into a habitual cycle of self-loathing.

The situation didn’t help either. This place was far from the capital, Rebram, and aside from trips to the bathroom, they were practically always together. It would have been better if they were apart.

Their days were lazy—waking up late and going to bed late. After waking, they spent time strolling around the area. Fortunately, the weather was clear and not too cold during their stay.

Since that day, Karl stayed by her side like a shadow. Whenever she opened her eyes, he was always nearby. He no longer left her alone or mentioned swimming again.

Leaning against the sofa, she was enjoying a languid rest when Karl, fresh from the bath, sat beside her and tilted his head toward her. Their noses brushed against each other.

“Leti, I heard deer sometimes appear around here.”

He seemed to be talking about the forest near the lake. She, too, had seen deer a few times while walking with him—along with squirrels and various types of birds.

“Want to try hunting?”

He asked with a smile. She couldn’t answer right away. After all, hunting meant taking another life, and the idea frightened her a little.

“I’ll teach you.”

He said, holding her hand. After some hesitation, she slowly nodded. Gaining a new experience, whatever it might be, seemed like a good thing.

Karl stood, still holding her hand, and headed out of the room toward the first floor. He unlocked a display case filled with rifles, taking out two hunting rifles and some ammunition. Even to her untrained eyes, his actions as he inspected the rifles looked skillful. She, on the other hand, found it fascinating, as it was her first time seeing a gun up close.

He handed her one of the rifles. She carefully touched and examined it, intrigued by the unfamiliar object.

“It’s not loaded. You can pull the trigger if you want.”

As he said, pulling the trigger didn’t fire a bullet. Carrying the rifles and ammunition, he walked toward the villa’s exit. She followed closely behind.