Side Story.2

Leticia, Karl, and the twins spent a week traveling through the Chevrem Empire. They stayed two days in Rebram, three days in Sardoa, and two days in Shelba. Although the family had traveled together many times, this was their first trip to Chevrem with the children, and they enjoyed their time. However, Leticia couldn’t shake the lingering thoughts of her mother.  

Even on the ship back to Arhadan, she constantly debated whether to open her mother’s diary. She repeatedly caressed the cover, opened it, and then closed it again.  

Finally, a few days after returning to Arhadan, she gathered her courage and opened the diary.  

The moment she read the first page, she gasped. The Baron’s name appeared.  

[January 15th, Year 203  

Today, I went to visit the merchant group run by Lichten with Eva. I knew Lichten was wealthy, but I didn’t realize it was to this extent. Lichten said it was because his parents were rich, but isn’t that the same thing?! I saw Lichten in a new light! I should get closer to him from now on.]  

The diary’s tone was cheerful. It was hard to believe it belonged to her irritable and gloomy mother. Leticia continued reading in a daze.  

[March 14th, Year 203  

I think Lichten likes me. Eva said so too. I hadn’t noticed because I wasn’t paying attention, but now that she mentioned it, it seems true. He keeps staring at me and looks away whenever our eyes meet. When I smile at him, he gets even more flustered. He’s so funny.]  

The content was unbelievable. Covering her mouth with one hand, Leticia kept reading.  

[June 16th, Year 203  

I asked Lichten directly. “Do you like me?!” He couldn’t say a word and turned bright red! That was a more definite answer than a verbal one. When I laughed and told him I felt the same way, his eyes widened so much. It was a look I’d never seen before. I used to tease him for being so stoic, but he’s surprisingly cute.]  

So her mother and the Baron had been lovers. The hand covering her mouth trembled slightly. For nearly two years, the diary was filled with happiness and excitement. Although it mentioned minor arguments and difficulties, her mother seemed mostly happy. The two had even promised to marry.  

[April 17th, Year 205  

I want to die.]  

But from this point on, the diary took a dark turn.  

[April 19th, Year 205  

I didn’t want this. Why did this happen to me? This isn’t what I wanted. What did I do wrong?  

April 20th, Year 205  

Grandmother scolded me. She said I should be grateful to have caught the Emperor’s eye, that I should act like the tongue in his mouth, obedient and pliant. Instead, she called me a fool for behaving so recklessly.]

Her relationship with the Emperor hadn’t been consensual? 

By now, the hand covering her mouth had dropped, and she clenched the diary tightly as if to tear it apart.  

[May 20th, Year 205  

The Emperor said he didn’t mind if I married someone else. But he also said he would continue to call on me until he grew tired of me. When I told Lichten what the Emperor had said, he cried and raged. I cried too. But there was nothing we could do.  

August 1st, Year 205  

The Emperor granted Lichten the title of Baron. Then Lichten and I got married. But neither of us smiled during the ceremony. Since that day, Lichten hasn’t smiled at me. He doesn’t even try to meet my eyes. He must hate me. He doesn’t love me anymore, but he married me because of the title. Grandmother curses me too. I’ve grown distant from Eva. It must all be my fault. Everything is because of me.]  

This page was soaked with tear stains. Seeing the round marks left by her mother’s tears made Leticia’s chest tighten.  

From this point on, the diary chronicled her mother’s descent into despair. The cheerful young girl from the earlier pages was gone. The diary detailed her mother’s anguish as she lost everything and clung desperately to the Emperor.  

When her mother was intoxicated with drugs and alcohol, there were blank gaps in the entries. Later, the diary contained many mentions of Leticia herself.

[June 14th, Year 227  

That wretched Leti met a man and started staying out overnight, something she had never done before. Now she’s trying to abandon her own mother. That ungrateful girl. How much I suffered while carrying her. I gave up everything because of her. How could she treat me like this?  

July 1st, Year 227  

Leti left the house and hasn’t come back. Even when I try to go out and find her, Lichten stops me. He said he was the one who drove her out. He says we should forget everything and live on our own now. But how can I forget? How can I possibly forget? My youth is already withered away, my life is ruined. Everything is destroyed. I can’t trust anyone anymore.  

June 2nd, Year 228  

Even Leti abandoned me. I’ve been forsaken by my own daughter.]  

The urge to close the diary surged. She didn’t think she could bear to read any further. The presence of this thorn that pierced her heart was impossible to ignore. Leticia squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again.  

From that point on, the entries became sparse, with most of them describing the weather or scenery. Even her worsening health was described in a dry, detached manner, as if reflecting her mother’s withered emotions.  

On the final page of the diary, Leticia’s name was written.  

[March 10th, Year 243  

I want to see Leti one last time. My beloved daughter. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.]  

At last, the tears she had been holding back poured out like a waterfall. Uncontrollable sobs burst from her throat, loud and raw. Overwhelmed by surging grief and anger, she clawed at the sheets and slammed her pillow against the wall. Even then, the emotions didn’t subside, and she eventually collapsed onto the floor, crying like a child.  

This was why she hadn’t wanted to know.  

“Ah… ahh…”  

The truth was, Leticia loved her mother, but she had never fully let go of the resentment. She couldn’t forgive her. Even after all these years, the bitterness lingered. Her mother had never once apologized to her.  

I’m sorry.  

She had wanted to hear those words—from no one else but her mother.  

If her mother had said those words, even just once, Leticia could have let go of all the resentment and freely loved her mother, remembering her fondly.  

Why did it have to come so late…?  

Even after having two children and becoming a mother herself, she was still her mother’s daughter. She was still someone’s child, someone who longed to be loved by her parent. No matter how old she was…  

Curling up on the floor, she buried her face and let her tears and grief pour out like vomit. After thirty-five years, she finally accepted her mother’s love and apology.  

***

When Karl came home from work and saw her swollen face, he turned pale and hurried over to her.  

“What happened? Who made you cry? Who? Just tell me their name!”  

“Karl. Don’t overreact. It’s just… I read my mother’s diary.”  

“Ah…”  

He trailed off, cautiously watching her expression before speaking again.  

“Are you okay?”  

“No. I’m not okay. But… I’ll be fine with time.”  

Time would dull the emotions and make her stronger. And she had Karl and the twins by her side. Not just them—there was also Nelly, the head chef she had grown close to while baking cookies together in the kitchen. There was Ran, a friend she met regularly to chat with. There was Hans, who now felt like family. And there were others she had grown close to.  

She was no longer the girl who cried alone, curled up in a corner. The certainty she had felt when deciding to go to Arhadan had been right. Happiness had stayed by her side for a long time. Perhaps one day, that happiness would shatter. But she wouldn’t crumble helplessly, as she had before.  

Smiling, she wrapped her arms around Karl’s neck. Then, she kissed his cheek. His eyes narrowed slightly.  

“What’s this? What’s gotten into you, Leti? You’re the one seducing me first now?”  

It was always him who initiated things. Instead of answering, she kissed his other cheek. His narrowed eyes lit up with a gleam.  

It didn’t take long for his body to hover over hers. She gazed at the cascade of his red hair and felt the warmth of his tongue slipping between her lips. Even after all the times they had been together, it still felt good to be with him. Thinking of the pleasure to come, she wrapped her legs around his waist and closed her eyes.  

As always, it was a peaceful afternoon.  

〈A Wrong Love from the Start〉 The End