Though she couldn’t explain the entire dark past, Iren felt it was necessary to resolve some of Rian’s questions in a way he could understand. Now that Rian had brought it up, Iren thought this was the right time.
“Rian, you’re right. Uncle Duke is your dad. Mom married Dad, so that’s why people call Mom Duchess. Rian is a very precious son born between Mom and Dad.”
“Mom married Uncle? Wow.”
Rian nodded with a noticeably brightened face but soon asked with a puzzled expression.
“But why wasn’t Uncle there until I turned four? Weren’t you married then?”
“It’s not that… Uncle was very sick.”
“Sick? Where?”
“Here. In his heart. Uncle had a sickness in his heart, so he couldn’t live with Mom.”
Iren gently placed her hand on Rian’s chest and then removed it. Rian looked down at his chest and became slightly sad.
“Was he so sick that Mom couldn’t heal him? Mom knows a lot about herbs.”
“Mom tried very hard, but a sickness of the heart can’t be healed with herbs. Rian, you must always take good care of your heart. If your heart gets sick, you start to hate others and hurt them too.”
“Is Uncle okay now? Is he all better?”
“He’s all better now. Rian, Uncle feels really sorry for not being there when you came into this world.”
“Hmm…”
Rian closed his mouth and fidgeted with his hands. He recalled the moments when his friends teased him for not having a dad.
He couldn’t understand why not having a dad was a reason to be teased, neither then nor now. He thought the children who teased him for such reasons were worse. So he didn’t mind being teased by his friends.
He felt the absence of a dad when he saw his mom struggling. He was envious when he saw his friends going out holding both their mom’s and dad’s hands.
Why isn’t my dad here with us? If Dad were here, Mom wouldn’t have such a hard time. He would scold the adults who made Mom suffer.
Mom said Dad was dead. She said that meant he wasn’t in this world. When Rian heard that, he thought he needed to get strong quickly to protect Mom. Since Dad wasn’t in this world, he was the only one who could protect Mom.
But Dad was alive. And he was none other than the Uncle Duke he liked so much.
Rian was truly happy, as he had told Iren, but his chest felt a little tight. No matter how sick his heart was, couldn’t he have come to see him and Mom even once? If it were him, he would have. If you like someone, if you love someone, don’t you want to see them every day?
He didn’t mind that Mom lied. Mom loved him very, very much. Mom said she only wanted him to be happy. She must have lied for his sake. Rian never doubted Iren’s love for him.
Instead, he felt a bit resentful towards Uncle for making Mom lie. He kept thinking that Uncle made Mom struggle alone.
“Did Uncle say sorry to Mom?”
“He did. He said he was sorry and that he was wrong. He also felt sorry to you.”
Even though he heard the answer he wanted, his mood didn’t improve. The more he talked about Uncle, the more he disliked him. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way. Uncle Duke was his dad. Rian pouted his lips and reached out to Iren.
“Hug me, Mom. I want to sleep.”
Iren held Rian in her arms and patted him. Her face was full of worry as she looked at Rian burrowing into her embrace.
* * *
The next morning, the Duke’s castle was in an uproar. It was because of the note Rian left.
[Uncle, come find Rian.]
The crooked handwriting was undoubtedly Rian’s. Rian had started learning letters from a tutor Lahart had found, and he could now write letters phonetically.
But no one expected the child’s letter to contain such shocking content.
“Rian…!”
The first person to discover the note was Iren, who had come to wake Rian. She had been unable to sleep properly, worried about the conversation she had with Rian the previous day, so she went to Rian’s room earlier than usual and was struck by a bolt from the blue.
Iren, pale as a sheet, ran out of the room, and Lahart, hearing the commotion, rushed out as well. He saw the note trembling in Iren’s hand. His usually composed face crumbled in an instant, and Iren’s legs gave out, causing her to stagger heavily.
“Iren!”
Lahart caught her before she fell. Iren clung to his clothes.
“We need to find Rian… I shouldn’t have said anything. Rian is still so young… It’s hard for even an adult to understand. I was foolish. What should we do? If something happens to Rian because of me…”
“That won’t happen, Iren.”
Lahart hugged her tightly. Her slender body was trembling uncontrollably. He pressed her back gently, making her lean on him.
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. You have nothing to blame yourself for. It’s all because of me.”
“Rian… Rian…”
“Yes, finding Rian is our priority now. No matter what, we’ll bring him back. Rian will be safe.”
Lahart reassured Iren firmly. She nodded silently. Her tears soaked Lahart’s shoulder. Damn it. Lahart gritted his teeth where she couldn’t see.
As he had told Iren, it was all his fault. If he had trusted her, if he hadn’t pushed her away, none of this would have happened.
There was no time for self-reproach. Though winter was ending, Sirencia’s winter was harsher and more unforgiving than other regions. The weather wasn’t suitable for a child to endure outside for long. If Rian had gone outside the castle, it could be truly dangerous.
Lahart entrusted Iren to Jane and Marianne and summoned all the servants and knights. He first checked with the guards at the castle gate to see if Rian had gone outside.
The guards turned pale and shook their heads immediately.
“The young lord did not leave the castle. If he had come to the gate, we would have reported it right away.”
Since no one in the castle didn’t know Rian, the guard’s words made sense.
Lahart struggled to cool his boiling head filled with regret and self-blame. He pretended to be calm to reassure Iren, but the news had shocked him so much that he felt as if all his nerves had been severed. He knew better than anyone that getting agitated wouldn’t help, but he couldn’t control himself. His mouth and entire body felt parched.
If he felt this way, how much worse must Iren feel, having faced Rian’s empty room directly?
At least Rian hadn’t gone outside the castle, which was a small relief in this misfortune. Although the ducal castle was large, they could find him if they mobilized everyone to search. Lahart was about to order the knights to lock down the castle when a servant raised his hand.
“D-Duke. I saw the young master this morning.”
“You saw Rian?”
“Y-Yes!”
The servant shrank back under Lahart’s piercing gaze. Lahart’s eyes sharpened as he urged the servant to speak.
“Tell me everything. Don’t leave out a single detail.”
“I-I was surprised to see him dressed properly so early! He was alone, so I asked where he was going, and he said he was going to wait for you… So I thought he had an appointment with you.”
“Did you ask where he was going? What time was it?”
“I said I would take him, but he insisted on going alone. It hasn’t even been an hour. I’m sorry! I should have escorted him… I’m truly sorry!”
He said he would wait for me.
Lahart unconsciously opened his clenched fist. The note he had received from Iren was crumpled.
Uncle, come find Rian. Rian had left the note not for Iren but for him. His eyes, deep in thought, suddenly widened.
This was… a test from Rian. A test to see if he was worthy of being Adrian’s father.
“Lock down the castle. Seal all entrances. Not even a mouse should be able to get in or out.”
“Understood!”
“Close off any dangerous areas like the training grounds, armory, kitchen, and dungeon. If anyone finds Rian, report to me immediately.”
“Yes!”
The knights scattered efficiently upon receiving their orders. The servants awaited Lahart’s commands, expecting him to divide the vast castle into search zones.
“Return to your positions. I will find Rian myself.”
“Are you sure you’ll be alright alone?”
“This is something I must do. Instead, please take care of Iren.”
Lahart answered Robben’s question briefly and then disappeared without hesitation.
Robben, though worried, managed to calm the anxious servants and sent them back to their duties. He then headed to the kitchen to prepare a calming tea for Iren.
* * *
Lahart walked quickly down the corridor, thinking.
A place where Rian might be waiting for him.
The first place he arrived at was the training ground where he often practiced swordsmanship with Rian. He thought it might be too obvious, but he couldn’t shake off the possibility.
As expected, only a cold wind blew through the training ground. As Lahart scanned the area with sharp eyes, something caught his attention. The spot where Rian’s wooden sword was usually placed on the weapon rack was empty.
Since Rian was still too young to carry a weapon, Lahart had always instructed him to place the wooden sword there after practice. It seemed certain that Rian had been to the training ground.
So where could Rian be?
Lahart inspected the tree in the corner of the training ground. It was the tree where he and Rian often took breaks during their sword practice. It wasn’t particularly significant, but the image of Rian laughing under that tree suddenly came to mind. And there, Lahart made an astonishing discovery.
A small arrow was carved into the trunk. It seemed to have been made with a wooden sword, but it was faint enough to be almost unnoticeable due to the child’s limited strength. Lahart instinctively knew.
This was a clue left by Rian.
Lahart looked in the direction the arrow pointed and suddenly started running.
The place he ran to was the library. The library, filled with the scent of books mixed with sunlight, was quiet. Even a child couldn’t escape Lahart’s keen senses, which could detect even monsters, so Rian wasn’t there.
Nevertheless, Lahart entered the library, convinced that Rian had left another clue there.
Rian had a favorite spot in the library. It was a space he had created by stacking bookshelves to form a small cave. Lahart would squeeze his large frame into it for Rian, and each time, Rian would laugh joyfully. Then he would nestle between Lahart’s legs and beg him to read a book.
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nckojita
ofc she lies and leaves out that she faked her death so the kid places full blame on the father for not being around with no true context 🙄 this is why i cant stand most female leads in these types of stories