Iren spoke to Hilda, who was preparing pie and tea.

“Hilda, may I take a look around?”

“Of course. Compared to the grand castle you live in, it might seem shabby, but feel free to look around. Oh, but you might want to avoid Michel’s room if you can. It’s practically a pigsty.”

Iren slowly toured Hilda’s house. Compared to the luxurious yet barren castle, this might be considered shabby and dirty. But she found the sights brimming with life endearing.

Especially when she found places that gave off a sense of ‘family’ living together, Iren’s heart ached.

This was the life I wanted.

Iren imagined herself living in such a house with a child. It would surely be a modestly happy and peaceful life. Perhaps there would be days when she worries about their next meal, and she wouldn’t be able to afford luxurious jewels or dresses.

But what significance would those things hold in her life?

Iren wanted to live even a single day of exchanging love, not resentment and hatred.

“Madam, would you like some tea? Or would you prefer to have it in the living room?”

“Shall we?”

Hilda brought over the pie and tea. Iren immediately took a sip of the tea and ate a piece of pie.

It was strange. In the castle, she had no appetite and felt nauseous just from the smell of food, but here, she could eat deliciously. She felt like she could eat several pieces.

A warm and simple food. A tea prepared for me. A conversation partner without hostility.

“Hilda, your pie is really delicious. I’ve never tasted such a delicious pie even in the castle.”

“I might not know much about other things, but I do make an excellent pie, don’t I? There’s a reason I say I could sell these.”

“Certainly. I wish I could learn how to bake pies from Hilda and open a pie shop.”

“You, Madam?”

Hilda tilted her head in confusion, then laughed.

“If you want to learn, I can teach you. Even all my secrets. But you’d probably make more money selling medicine than pies, wouldn’t you? Fertilizer would be good too.”

“Medicine? I’ve never thought about that.”

“Oh my, why not? No one can match your skill with herbs.”

“Of course, but…”

Who would trust medicine made by a woman from the Phaeson family, Hilda?

Iren swallowed the words she was about to say and smiled it off. However, after hearing Hilda’s words, another hope sprouted in Iren’s heart.

If I could start a new life somewhere where no one knows I’m from the Phaeson family. Hilda’s words might not just be a dream.

Iren finished her cup of tea and stood up. Before leaving, she handed Hilda a small envelope.

“What’s this?”

“Don’t open it now. Look at it later.”

“Eh? If not now, when should I look at it! You make me want to open it even more by saying that?”

“No, Hilda. Later. Later. When you need my help like this time, but I can’t come to find you. Open it then.”

“Are you feeling unwell again? That won’t do. Without you, madam, we can’t farm. You’ve seen us just sitting around doing nothing.”

Hilda joked. Iren tightly grasped her hand, which was rough from tilling the barren land.

Iren gently stroked her hand. Because it was the last time. Because she would never have the chance to touch it again. To engrave it in her skin so she could remember it for a long time.

“The pie was really delicious, Hilda. I ate well before leaving. Thank you.”

After leaving Hilda’s farm, Iren decided to visit one more farm. Thinking it was her last chance made her want to help as many farms as she could.

“Good day, madam. I am the owner of this farm. What brings you here without prior notice…?”

“I’m sorry for dropping in unexpectedly. I thought it would be good to inspect your farm as well since I was visiting nearby farms.”

“Ah… if it’s the nearby farms, you mean Brown’s farm, yes.”

The farm owner did not seem welcoming to Iren. Above all, he had no willingness to show her around.

The narrow door gap, opened just enough for a conversation, made Iren feel extremely claustrophobic. But she had no right to demand the door be opened by force.

“Do you have any problems or difficulties? Feel free to ask any questions. I can tell you about the effective ratios for mixing fertilizers, and we can also support you with improved seeds.”

“Guildt mentioned it a few times. We didn’t apply because we don’t really need it here. The duke may guarantee it, but since the madam is in charge of the research…”

The farm owner glanced at Iren. Though he was not overtly hostile like a previous head maid, it was still equally painful for Iren.

I thought I had become numb. I thought I had adapted. I thought scars had built up a solid layer over wounds.

But that wasn’t the case. Becoming used to it did not mean it wasn’t hurtful.

Because I have to live here. Because I have nowhere else to return to. So, I endured it. Just pretended it was all fine.

My heart ached yet felt relieved at the same time. There was no reason to accept their sharp curiosity, disdain disguised as concern, or the hatred meant to hide their fear.

Iren smiled quietly.

“I won’t force an unwelcome recommendation on you. Sorry for taking your time. Excuse me.”

“Oh, no… I didn’t say you were taking up my time but…”

Iren turned around. Despite being treated like an unwelcome guest, her steps back to the carriage felt light.

Had it been another time, she would have been at a loss, feeling frustrated.

“I worked hard on the research. It will surely be helpful.”
“It’s a fertilizer that provides the necessary nutrients to crops. Using it won’t cause toxicity in potatoes.”
“Just once… can’t you trust me?”

Her past attempts to persuade even one more person flashed by.

I wanted to blend in here somehow. I wanted to be accepted by the people. I wanted to be Irelaide Cardius, not Irelaide Phaeson.

“It’s because you haven’t given up yet.”

Yes. I haven’t given up. Is that why? In the end, it turned out just as you said. People still see me as Irelaide Phaeson.

Perhaps it’s the inevitable ending. How could others sincerely accept me when you, the closest to me and the one who brought me here, do not forgive me?

I have no regrets. I didn’t give up until the end. Even knowing it was useless, knowing this end awaited, I sincerely gave everything.

So now, I will live for myself. It doesn’t matter if you don’t accept me.

I am leaving this place……

“Wife.”

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden call. Raising her head, she saw Lahart looking down at her from his horse.

A procession of attendants following him was visible in the distance, seemingly waiting for him.

He was wearing a thin coat instead of armor. Lahart, with his back to the sun, was still beautiful but no longer radiant.

Iren stood in place, slightly lifting the hem of her dress in a gesture of respect.

“Your Grace.”

“Not surprised this time?”

“You are the master of Sirencia, Your Grace. There’s no place you cannot go.”

Even after unexpectedly facing Lahart, Iren remained calm. Nothing he could do would surprise her now.

Just as a broken object can no longer function properly, her heart towards Lahart was completely shattered and unable to function.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m on my way back from inspecting the farms.”

“Going out right after recovering, without even reporting to me.”

“You were the one who said field inspections don’t need reports, and that I shouldn’t bother you about them, Your Grace.”

Lahart clenched his jaws silently, his strong and stubborn jawline grew prominent.

Right. He had indeed told Iren that. That in spring, when work abounds, minor matters need not be reported. That she should handle things like field inspections on her own and to not be bothersome.

He had said that because Iren was always within his grasp no matter where she went.

There were people watching her every move, and the places Iren could go were limited to the castle and a few farms at most. Thus, receiving reports was both pointless and bothersome.

He could have made Iren more bothersome if he wanted to, but his own annoyance was greater. Besides, telling Iren ‘you’re bothersome’ was more likely to hurt her. So there was no need to endure the pointless bother.

Iren was that kind of woman.

“If you wish, I will report in the future.”

“Do that. My wife have a long list of accomplishments, after all.”

Iren bowed her head without responding. Lahart found her attitude strangely irritating. As usual, it seemed like she was obediently following his words, but there seemed to be an invisible wall he could feel between them.

Iren always tensed up in his presence, but now she seemed too calm, which bothered him even more.

After all, she’s a woman who would show tears at just one word from him. Stirring her emotions was something Lahart did best.

The key to touching her heart was engraved in his body.

“Come here.”

Lahart reached out his hand, his violet-hued hand visible without the glove.

Iren stared at his hand then shook her head.

“I have a carriage that I rode here.”

“If it’s a field inspection, it might be better if I accompany you.”

“No, I think I’ll return to the castle now. I shouldn’t worry you by falling ill again.”

In the end, Iren did not take Lahart’s extended hand.

“Your Grace would be better off without me. Please withdraw your hand.”

“You are mistaken.”

Lahart dismounted from his horse and stood in front of Iren. He extended his hand to her once again.

“When I extend my hand.”

His arrogant, ash-gray gaze settled deeply. Iren looked at him with an unwavering gaze.

If Lahart’s eyes were a cold blizzard sweeping across a snowfield, Iren’s eyes were the calm sea of the night. A deep, quiet, and cozy sea that even swallows the night. A sea whose end one could not even dare to guess.

“You will take it.”

Lahart’s tone was full of certainty. Iren hated his way of speaking. As if, no matter what she said, she must follow, as if she was entirely his possession.

“Is this your order as the Duke of Cardius? Or is it your advice as a husband?”

Lahart’s lips twisted. He reached out his hand and grasped Iren’s slender neck.

“Do you think about breathing before you breathe?”

“……”

“It’s the same when you hold my hand, Iren.”

Do not think. Do not doubt. Do not judge. Only holding my hand, leaning on me, and clinging to me will save and redeem you.

The proud beast whispered. Do not doubt for a moment. That he saved you. That only he can save you. That you have no reason to reject him, nor can you.

There was a time when it didn’t matter if what lay beneath wasn’t love. But now it wasn’t so.

Even if her sin was deep, it was never something that should be passed on to the child in her womb.

Iren resolved once again. No one can be happy by his side. She would not be an exception either.

“I understand.”

I understand everything, how terrible a person you are.

“I asked a foolish question.”

Iren placed her hand on Lahart’s. Lahart stared at her for a while, then lifted her onto the horse and mounted behind her.

The horse carrying the two kicked off the ground powerfully and ran.

* * *