CHAPTER 11

Ijun occasionally texts or calls Siyeon, and when their schedules align, they would have meals together. As a result, they ended up meeting quite frequently, but the exact nature of their relationship was still ambiguous and undefined.

However, Siyeon understood Ijun’s feelings towards her very well. His emotions were so transparent that pretending not to notice them was even more difficult.

In early December, Ijun was accepted into a prestigious university in Seoul and immediately applied for his military service. He submitted a leave of absence form to the school on the day of his enrollment entrance, ignoring the advice of his family elders that he should attend for a semester first and then wait until Gwihyeon was discharged from the army a few months later. It was the only school in Korea that allowed students to take a leave of absence upon enrollment.

Shortly after, Ijun appeared in front of Siyeon’s house, his hair cropped into a sport cut, late in the evening.

“You didn’t need to come out to see me off. I came to tell you myself.”

Siyeon knew he would contact her since she knew that he was enlisting the next day, but she hadn’t expected Ijun to come to her house in person.

The two of them sat on a bench in the playground within the apartment complex and began to talk.

“You don’t need to rush to the military when you don’t have to. Why are you in such a hurry to go?”

“The sooner I go, the sooner I’ll come back.”

“Aren’t you nervous?”

“It’s nerve-wracking even though everyone goes to the military.”

Ijun, with his hands tucked in the pockets of his jacket and his legs stretched out in front of him, tapped the floor with the heels of his sneakers and responded grumpily. His attitude seemed rather nonchalant for someone who had come all the way to her house.

“When you’re done with your military service, I’ll already be in college.”

“Stop it. Why don’t you try taking a gap year and just retake the entrance exam?”

Ijun’s remark made Siyeon look at him with a baffled expression. He was urging her, who had just entered her senior year of high school, to take a gap year out of the blue, which was truly despicable.

“I’m definitely going to college this year. I’ll never retake the exam like you did.”

“Calm down.”

Ijun glanced at Siyeon, who was glaring at him and smirked.

“Take care of yourself while you’re gone.”

“Well, that goes without saying.”

“I’ll grant you a special exemption from sending me letters, so study hard.”

Siyeon burst into laughter as she spoke. It was clear that her words were meant to assure him that she wouldn’t be sending any letters, even though she knew she was supposed to.

“If you enlist tomorrow, when will you get a break?”

“If I go now, it’s summer, right? I’ll probably get a break around your vacation time.”

“When you get your break, let me know. You might be busy meeting your friends, but I’d be glad to see you even for a short while.”

“You’re not shedding a single tear even though I’m enlisting tomorrow. You used to cry even when you were alone last year.”

“Why would I cry? It’s not like you’re going somewhere you can’t come back from.”

“You should hold back your words.”

Giving him a disapproving look, Siyeon playfully stuck out her tongue, and Ijun turned his head in the opposite direction.

“Take care. If training gets tough, just think about the pitiable senior year student who will be cooped up in the study room until dawn, studying hard.”

“Sure, I’ll give it a try.”

With a half-hearted response, Siyeon stood up with a smile. Then, she looked down at Ijun, who was still sitting there with a sulky expression. He hadn’t moved at all, as if he had been glued to the chair.

“Go on. You said you have to leave early tomorrow morning.”

“I came all the way here, so just say you’re a bit sad I’ll leave.”

“To be honest, I’m a little sad, but as you know, I can’t be sad for too long because of my stubborn personality. I have to go inside and study.”

At Siyeon’s words, Ijun sighed and got up from his seat. High school seniors had an incredible power to easily dismiss the company of soon-to-be soldiers who were enlisting tomorrow. Although she used studying as an excuse, the truth was that Siyeon wanted to quickly send him off to let him rest.

Before they knew it, their surroundings had grown dim. The two faced each other and fell into a momentary silence.

“…I’ll miss you.”

As Ijun moved his lips, Siyeon felt a lump in her chest. Perhaps he had come to find her just to say those words.

“I can endure for about a year and a half. I have a strong patience.”

“That sounds oddly reassuring.”

“What does it sound like?”

“Like you’re saying you’ll wait for me.”

In the darkness, within the glint of his eyes, she could see an inevitable mixture of anticipation and hope.

“I’ll wait. So make sure to come back in good health.”

Siyeon extended her right hand as if to shake hands, a gesture of farewell. Although she wanted to embrace Ijun tightly and pat his back or do something along those lines, it seemed a bit excessive.

Suddenly, his large hand reached out, gripping the back of her head gently, and he pressed his lips firmly against her forehead before pulling away. Siyeon’s eyes widened at the unexpected gesture.

“I’ll be back.”

“…”

He smiled at Siyeon, as she stood there with a bewildered expression. As he retreated back a few steps, his face was adorned with a full smile. Siyeon, who had been taken aback, belatedly burst into a laugh.

After defining their relationship in this way, Ijun enlisted in the military. Unlike the day when Gwihyeon enlisted, with many relatives accompanying him, on Ijun’s enlistment day, only his parents and grandparents were there. It was the difference between the first grandson and the second grandson.

***

Saying “I’ll wait” is truly a risky statement. With those words, Siyeon became the girlfriend who would wait for Ijun’s discharge.

Before enlisting, Ijun had told Siyeon about online cafes for girlfriends waiting for their boyfriends in the military and jokingly appointed her as his official rubber shoe (a nickname for girlfriends waiting for their military service boyfriends).

“Imagine telling a high school student to be a rubber shoe.”

That evening, Siyeon grumbled but still joined the cafe. Surprisingly, there were many girls around her age in that online community.

Siyeon clicked on a few story titles on the bulletin board and read some articles but none of them seemed to match her situation. The sadness these girls felt and the emptiness Siyeon felt couldn’t even be compared.

Each of them poured out their love and longing for their boyfriends in various ways. Some even posted daily updates about their daily lives on the forum, as if writing a diary.

Reading those passionate and heartfelt posts made her feel even more regretful about being appointed as his rubber shoe. The more she read those passionate posts, the more she felt sorry for Ijun.

“…I think maybe Oppa chose the wrong rubber shoe.”

She mumbled to herself. Just as Siyeon was lost in thought, a soft knock was heard on her door. Soon after, her mother entered her room. Siyeon closed her laptop and turned around.

Her mother placed a beautifully arranged plate of various fruits and a cup of steaming tea on Siyeon’s desk. She then pulled the chair closer and sat down.

Siyeon couldn’t bear to meet her mother’s affectionate gaze for too long, so she averted her eyes. She found her mother’s affection burdensome and uncomfortable, knowing it wasn’t truly meant for her.

“Is studying hard?”

Her mother passed her a fork with a slice of fruit on it and gave her a sympathetic expression.

“Other kids are all doing it too. It’s not hard at all.”

Honestly, sitting down quietly and just studying was the most comfortable. When she mechanically solved problems without any worries, time passed quickly.

“It’s okay to say it’s hard. It seems like our daughter has suddenly become more mature, and it makes Mom a little sad.”

“I’ll be an adult soon.”

Siyeon replied calmly and put the fruit her mother handed her into her mouth. Her body had returned to the past, but her heart couldn’t go back to the past.

Accepting her Ichon-dong parents’ love was difficult because memories of her past life were still vivid. Knowing that their current love had an expiration date made it impossible to feel the same way as before.

Siyeon took advantage of this rare calm conversation time how and voiced out what she had been thinking in her heart.

“So, the thing is, Mom, I want to become independent next year.”

“Independent? What’s all this sudden talk?”

Her mother widened her eyes in surprise. But, Siyeon continued without hesitation. She was expecting this reaction to some extent.

“It’s not something I impulsively decided. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I’ll be an adult next year, and I can’t just keep living under Mom and Dad’s shadow forever.”

“You’re only turning twenty years old, that’s ridiculous! Why are you going to live on your own when your mom and dad are still alive and well? I can’t give you independence until you’re married!”

With a resolute expression, her mother strongly opposed Siyeon’s independence.

“Then, let’s ask the elders in the family, Grandma. And if Grandma doesn’t oppose it, then let me be independent.”

Siyeon deliberately brought up the topic of her grandmother from Hannam-dong. She had calculated that her Hannam-dong Grandma would welcome her independence with open arms.

“There’s no need to ask, you know she’ll be overjoyed! She’s an old lady from the olden days, do you think she’ll oppose you wanting to go out and live alone in this tough world?”

“We can at least hear her opinion. Grandma might think differently from Mom.”

“Siyeon, do you really want to leave Mom and Dad’s so badly?”

Her mom had suddenly put on a lonely expression. It was a face that couldn’t hide her disappointment.

“Mom, I want to become a healthy adult who can live independently without relying on my parents’ love. If it’s too difficult after becoming independent, I can always come back.”

This was just a lie she told to reassure her mother, that Siyeon had no intention of coming back.

It might be a little early, but it’s better to part when their relationship is still good. It was a hundred times better than watching her parents lose their affection for her. After all, even if it was a long time, five years from now, they would have erased her existence from their hearts.

“But still, Mom doesn’t like it.”

“Alright. For now, getting into college is important, so let’s talk about this again after the exams are over.”

Seeing her mother’s inability to hide her uneasiness, Siyeon bitterly smiled inwardly. In a way, her Ichon-dong parents were also victims of the Hannam-dong Grandma. It was understandable that they couldn’t help but dearly love their long-lost daughter who had been returned to them.

But in her past life, the two of them had become accomplices to the Hannam-dong grandmother by not telling Siyeon that she had been switched at birth until she turned twenty-five due to a twisted sense of guilt.

Siyeon understood the situation, but her heart couldn’t fully accept it. If the two of them had turned away from her with a little regret, she had intended to hold onto that degree of sentiment as well.

“…Alright, let’s talk about this later.”

“Don’t worry about it too much in advance, Mom.”

Seeing her mother’s worried expression, Siyeon smiled faintly.

And so, she took another step towards the changing future.