Chapter 42 – The Gap Between Two Worlds

“Be grateful I’m not reporting you or charging you for medical expenses, and don’t ever come near here again!”

With that harsh reprimand, the door slammed shut once more.

Eloise had to stand in front of the firmly closed door and cry for a long time.

To experience such a miserable event on her first day back in the capital. 

Was I not prepared enough? Or was it simply bad luck? Was it wrong to push away that unpleasant man’s hand?

‘…If I hadn’t pushed him away, I would have had to endure something horrible, wouldn’t I?’

A series of questions without answers continued to plague her. Meanwhile, Eloise stood in the cold wind, her eyes brimming with tears.

She couldn’t control her sorrowful and unjust feelings.

Seeing the elderly woman fiercely protect even such a worthless man because he was her precious son made Eloise miss her family even more.

But she couldn’t keep crying forever.

Her heart was still pounding fiercely, but Eloise swallowed her miserable feelings and wiped her tears with her sleeve.

Then she bent down and began to gather her belongings scattered on the ground. Her movements were quite solemn.

After carefully dusting off her diary, which was covered in dirt, and placing it in her bag, the area in front of the door finally looked tidy.

Holding her luggage bag, Eloise carefully descended the stone steps covered with broken glass shards, her legs trembling, and thought.

‘So where should I stay now? I don’t have any money.’

The feeling of hopelessness was overwhelming, but ultimately, there was only one path left.

The bead factory.

In this cold and heartless city, that was the only place she could go.

Even though the strong smell of alcohol made her dizzy, she was exhausted, and her legs felt as heavy as waterlogged cotton, about to collapse at any moment…

‘But I have to go. The factory is the only place that might understand my situation.’

Eloise adjusted her grip on the handle of her bag with her stinging hand and finished descending the steps.

With autumn quietly arriving, the days had become noticeably shorter. Soon, the chilling cold and pitch-black night would come, so she had to hurry to arrive before it got late.

As she emerged from the alley, a bustling Friday afternoon unfolded before her eyes. Amidst the throng of people rushing around, Eloise suddenly felt dizzy.

She wanted to cover her ears against the loud shouts of the street vendors, but one hand was holding her bag, and the other was clutching her dress, so she couldn’t.

‘I’m so dizzy…’

With a determined expression, Eloise hurried her steps. In the process, she bumped shoulders countless times and stumbled over her feet.

When a child carrying a large loaf of bread darted past her, she staggered so much that she nearly fell flat on the ground.

At that moment, she couldn’t help but feel as if everything in this city was trying to drive her away. It seemed as if all the strength was leaving her body.

“Ha…”

Eloise wanted to just sit down and cry from the overwhelming sadness.

Her weary legs trembled like those of a newborn fawn, and the pain in her palm gripping the bag’s handle grew increasingly severe.

It had been truly difficult to decide to leave home again, and not only had she encountered a shocking incident as soon as she arrived, but she was also chased out without even having time to prepare herself mentally.

As she reflected on the events that had happened to her, the image of the man sprawled on the stairs, bleeding, flashed in her mind again, but Eloise shook her head to dispel the thoughts.

She needed to hurry to the factory. By evening, people would leave, and the doors would close.

She intended to rely on the factory for the night, if possible, so her urgency grew.

“…I should eat something first.”

Eloise muttered, letting out a heavy sigh. Come to think of it, it seemed like it had been more than half a day since she last ate something.

She had skipped a meal when the carriage made its last stop, thinking she would soon unpack her things at Mrs. Mullich’s house.

The moment she realized that, a fierce hunger struck as if it had been waiting.

She was indeed exhausted, but it was likely that not having eaten anything was sapping her energy.

Fortunately, this was the capital of the kingdom, and looking around, she saw a street lined with taverns not far away.

If she filled her stomach with warm food, she would regain her energy, and then she could set aside her anxious thoughts more easily.

It’s okay, it’s okay. 

Repeating this reassurance in her heart, Eloise turned toward the alley.

The cold wind tousled her tangled wheat-colored hair as it passed by.

The small windows that were almost useless failed to serve their purpose, making the interior of the shop very dark.

Eloise relied on the flickering candlelight to eat a warm beef stew and mashed potatoes.

Although she finished her plate, unfortunately, it wasn’t a particularly pleasant meal.

The interior of the tavern was too noisy to enjoy a comfortable meal.

Eloise felt a renewed sense of irritation at the fact that there were so many people drinking and talking carelessly even in broad daylight.

Somewhere, someone was probably working tirelessly.

Thinking about the gap between the two worlds made her feel inexplicably empty.

“…Thank you for the meal.”

Having finished her meal, it was time to return to the weary world.

Eloise, silently looking down at her palm, covered with a dark red scab, placed a few coins on the table and picked up her luggage bag.

The outside, which she emerged into after weaving through the busy servers and lively tables, was now late afternoon.

Though the sun had hidden behind the clouds, the weak light felt as sharp as claws scratching her eyes, perhaps because she had spent so long in the dim restaurant.

From here to the factory was a little over an hour’s walk.

Although Eloise had regained some energy, the road ahead still seemed endless.

It was a path she had once traveled without a second thought morning and evening. Her changed circumstances over the past couple of months felt strange even to herself.

Lifting her head resolutely as if to summon courage, Eloise began to walk again.

Her mind was busy figuring out how to explain her two-month absence to the factory manager.

‘There’s no need to explain in detail, right? First, I’ll offer a sincere apology and just mention that there was a big issue at home.’

And tonight, or at least until I find a new place to stay, I need to ask if I can stay at the factory. If not in the office, even a corner of the workshop would be fine. I’ll make sure not to let the other workers notice…

“Ha.”

A sigh escaped her lips. Suddenly appearing and making such unreasonable requests would surely make her seem pathetic and strange.

Moreover, Eloise also needed to ask for the wages for her past work.

Although it was her rightful claim, given the situation, she already felt intimidated by the thought.

‘No, it’s only fair to ask for what I’ve earned, even if leaving without notice was wrong, so there’s no need to be intimidated…’

At that moment, Eloise’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt. It was because of the shadow blocking her way at the end of the narrow alley.

“Hello, miss.”

Even under the cloudy sky, the man’s blue eyes shone transparently, filled with clear wariness.

The thought that he might be a kind passerby asking for directions vanished the moment she saw his lips curl into a sly smile.

“Where are you rushing off to?”

“…”

To be blocked like this when she was in a hurry.

Eloise was too exhausted to even feel angry. It would be a losing battle anyway, wasting both time and energy.

“Are you a stranger here? That looks heavy; want some help?”

The man nodded toward her luggage bag, and even as he did so, his eyes were filled with impure intentions.

Ironically, it was a gaze she had become quite familiar with.

Eloise didn’t even want to respond, so she turned away sharply. It would take a bit longer, but it seemed better to take a detour. Screaming wouldn’t change anything anyway.

Eloise had come to know all too well what the capital was like to wait for someone to willingly offer a helping hand.

“Ha, are you ignoring me? With that dazed look on your face like you’re high on something.”

She heard a clicking sound of disapproval behind her, but Eloise ran to the opposite side of the alley as if she heard nothing.

Recalling the voices of those who used to tell her that her eyes sparkled like stars and her smile was as bright as flowers.

But, unfortunately, they were in a very distant place.

Perhaps growing up means gradually losing the light you once had. Eloise bit her dry lips tightly.

* * *

She arrived at the factory late in the evening.

Naturally, the doors were firmly closed, and not a single light was visible. A hollow sigh escaped her lips.

“…Ha.”

Eloise, unconsciously touching the closed door, quickly withdrew her hand due to the stinging pain in her palm.

The sky above was completely dark. Just like the vague reality before her.

After hesitating in front of the door for a while, Eloise seemed to make up her mind and entered a small shed next to the factory building.

The old wooden shed had no door and one side was open, allowing the cold wind to blow in without any barrier.

‘Still, it’s better than sleeping on the street.’

Eloise set her heavy luggage bag down in one corner and pulled over a musty-smelling blanket to lay beside it.

It was too dirty to lie directly on it, so she took some old clothes from her bag and covered the blanket with them, creating a somewhat decent bed.

Thud, as she lay her exhausted body down, it seemed possible to fall asleep. Eloise tried to convince herself of that.

In truth, she was terrified that someone might come barging in at any moment, and the fact that she had to sleep in such a place felt so miserable it was surreal, but she didn’t want to cry anymore.

Morning would surely come.

When morning came, people would arrive one by one, and once she talked to the manager, everything would be okay.

Then she would start working again, find a new place to stay…

Everything seemed overwhelming now, but she would fix things one by one.

Eloise hugged her trembling shoulders and curled up like a ball, trying to ignore the anxious beating of her heart.