Chapter 45 – I Will Return Before It’s Too Late

When she looked up, Ansel’s eyes were profoundly deep. It felt as if she would be swallowed by that gaze.

“…What do you mean…”

At that moment, Eloise realized that the distance between them was close enough for their breaths to mingle, and her heart pounded fiercely.

Amidst the overwhelming tension, her anxious breathing scattered chaotically.

Eloise was well aware of how conservative and stubborn his family was.

From the start, they were neither a married couple nor even lovers. She couldn’t fathom what he was thinking, making such frivolous remarks.

The night he confessed his love for her remained a vivid memory. And that night, Eloise left him in the darkness and ran away.

If Ansel’s feelings hadn’t changed at all since that day, then that would indeed be an illusion.

Feeling a slight dizziness, Eloise retorted.

“What are you saying right now?”

“If you have nowhere to go, I said you could stay under my protection.”

“…”

Eloise couldn’t read any emotion in his voice.

Since that day, she couldn’t begin to guess what thoughts this man had been living with. In truth, she had no room to consider Ansel’s inner thoughts.

So the heart of Ansel Blaine, who was looking down at her with such piercing eyes, felt utterly distant.

As if it were something that existed but was now as gone as the summer that had passed.

“That’s ridiculous. How can I—”

“There’s no need to be flustered. It’s a place where I live alone.”

“That’s not the issue!”

Eloise glared at him, frustrated by his nonchalant response. His calm voice continued.

“I left home that day as well.”

“…What?”

“Didn’t I already tell you? I left everything behind.”

At those words, he leisurely observed Eloise’s face, which had turned pale.

Then, as if he could no longer ignore it, he gently tidied the wheat-colored hair that had fallen over the forehead of the bewildered woman.

Even as he gently tucked her hair behind her ear, Eloise remained frozen in shock.

Her mind was busy retracing past memories.

Certainly that night, in the rain, he said he had left everything behind. But hadn’t it been more than two months already?

‘So he hasn’t been able to return all this time? He said his family was everything… Then is it possible he became a soldier for a livelihood?’

It was obvious what working for a livelihood would mean to him.

Even her mother, who had once lingered on the fringes of high society as the daughter of a Baronet, was sometimes plagued by neurosis at the thought of having to work for a living.

What was clear was that Ansel Blaine had rejected the marriage his family had permitted.

It was evident that it was an act against his family’s wishes.

The moment Eloise realized again that she was the cause of that shocking event, she wished she could just faint.

“……Are you trying to pressure me now? Are you trying to make me suffer the same way?”

When Eloise asked with a pale face, Ansel laughed lowly.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Doesn’t this situation bother you at all? Are you willing to turn your back on your family forever?”

“Don’t you think you’re not in a position to say that?”

“…”

Of course, she knew that she wasn’t in a position to worry about him.

But that didn’t mean she could just stand by and watch as Ansel, who had never strayed from the path given to him, blatantly deviated from it.

Eloise loved Ansel Blaine’s uprightness.

The fact that she was the one who had shaken him was like stepping into a burning fire for her, causing immense anguish.

Her lips dried up as she felt like she was slowly burning from the toes up.

“What about your succession! You’re the only heir of your family……. Please don’t do something you’ll regret, okay? This isn’t like you…….”

“Eloise.”

The moment his gentle voice called her name, her breath was involuntarily taken away.

“If that’s the issue, it seems there won’t be a problem. My mother happens to be expecting.”

“That…”

“Oh, by the way, she’s not my biological mother. My biological mother passed away, which is why I ended up going to Longfield.”

Eloise’s lips pressed tightly together. She swallowed the words she was about to say, realizing they weren’t what she wanted to hear.

It was entirely new to her that Ansel’s mother had passed away long ago. Her bright blue eyes trembled slightly beneath her pale eyelashes.

How could he have kept such a fact hidden for so long? At that time, Ansel was just a small child.

Perhaps his eyes sparkled so brightly because they held immense sorrow.

“Does that answer your question?”

While she was contemplating whether to offer him belated words of comfort, Ansel whispered softly.

“Then stop being stubborn.”

“…”

“You shouldn’t have appeared before my eyes like this in the first place. Right?”

His mesmerizing low voice made her skin prickle like thorns.

Even though it was the same tone he used as a child, it felt completely different. Eloise found the entire situation dizzying.

The idea of an unmarried man and woman living under one roof. Such a thing would be criticized by not only family but everyone else.

There was no place in this kingdom that would tolerate such an unorthodox arrangement. The capital, Brightnum, was no exception.

Moreover, Eloise had come here not to meet Ansel Blaine but to forget him.

It was too obvious that there was no hope or future between them.

Though they were currently in conflict, he would eventually return to his family’s embrace. Someone who had lived nobly all his life couldn’t continue working indefinitely.

So it was meaningless from the start to ask if the feelings he confessed to her in the rain that day remained unchanged.

To put it bluntly, he was probably just trying to enjoy a momentary diversion. The thought that he had come to torment or seek revenge was an excessive leap.

The fact that his sudden invitation to his home was shocking, yet devoid of any malice, was proof of that.

“Why?”

At that moment, Ansel, who had picked up the luggage bag, looked down at Eloise, who stood hesitantly.

“Do you still have something to say?”

She needed to refuse, but the moment their eyes met, Eloise lost all resolve.

His eyes were too beautiful. Those eyes were still the same as the young Ansel she remembered.

But it wasn’t just because of that.

If only it were just that… Exhausted to the point of collapsing, Eloise wanted nothing more than to lean on him.

She couldn’t resist the intense desire to rest comfortably in his shadow.

“I…”

In truth, from the moment she saw Ansel find her crying in a corner of the square, she had felt that way.

It was as if the pain he caused her family no longer mattered at all.

Despicable Eloise.

“Ugh…”

When their gazes intertwined deeply once more, her trembling hand covered her mouth. 

How could this not be an illusion?

His presence, which always brought longing and guilt simultaneously, felt unbearably harsh.

Eloise was trying hard to suppress the urge to scream.

If only she could just go mad.

“Why are you crying again?”

“…”

“If you don’t say anything, I won’t know.”

His voice, low and scattered, carried a faint sigh.

It was when his gloved hand reached out as if to caress her tear-streaked cheek.

“Captain.”

A voice suddenly interrupted, halting Ansel in his tracks. His hand stopped before it could touch Eloise.

“You should return quickly. There’s a message from the field…….”

“Tsk.”

Ansel clicked his tongue softly and approached the subordinate standing at the alley’s entrance, handing over the luggage bag he was holding.

When he turned back, the woman was trembling slightly in the shadow he cast.

Ha. With a low sigh, he silently took off his jacket. Soon, her delicate shoulders were covered with the dark military uniform, like the evening forest.

The distinct scent of bergamot filled her lungs. It felt like a comforting touch.

“Since she’s a guest from afar, escort her to the house. Quietly.”

“When you say house, do you mean the Viscount’s residence…”

“No. My private residence.”

The subordinate nodded in understanding.

The hand that had approached to wipe away her tears seemed like a lie, as Ansel, standing upright, spoke in a steady voice.

“I have to leave urgently. My subordinate will guide you, so please settle in and rest at my place. I’ll return as soon as I’m done, before it’s too late.”

His cold and precise tone reminded her once again that the man before her was someone who worked for the military.

It was a low voice that felt unkind.

“I’ll see you then.”

“…”

However, in the eyes she looked up at, there was an emotion more intense than fire.

Her heart felt as if it were being squeezed by that gaze. As Eloise let out a faint breath, he turned away.

“Shall we go, then?”

Eloise, who had been so absorbed that she forgot his subordinate was standing nearby, was startled and turned her head.

In the meantime, his broad back, clad in a shirt, had moved away, yet his scent remained vivid.

Nothing was an illusion.