Chapter 49 – Now All Gone

‘I should care for her with love.’

With that thought, as he smiled with utmost satisfaction, Eloise suddenly looked up.

When Ansel met her gaze calmly, her eyes, like bright blue beads, sparkled with tension. However, Eloise did not back down and spoke. It seemed she had finally made up her mind.

“……I have something to tell you.”

“While eating?”

It was a languid question. Nevertheless, he rested his chin on his hand as if willing to listen.

His gaze was so intense that Eloise felt the urge to turn her eyes back to her plate.

However, she was actually embarrassed by how she had been so engrossed in the splendid meal after resolving to convey her intentions clearly while drying her hair.

To ensure the conversation she was about to start had any persuasive power, she couldn’t lose her composure any further.

A subtle tension filled her transparent blue eyes.

“I wasn’t really that hungry.”

“Is that so?”

“I was just flustered by your offer to feed me. And you went through the trouble of preparing it… Cooking isn’t easy, you know. Especially such delicious dishes…”

Her lips, which had turned a pleasing shade of red, busily offered excuses, but despite her words, her face looked excessively happy as she eagerly brought the food to her mouth.

Moreover, she was still clutching the silverware tightly, as if she never intended to let it go. As if it were the most cherished item in the world.

Ansel chuckled without resistance.

At his laughter, Eloise’s eyes narrowed slightly in embarrassment, and he quickly erased his smile, deciding to humor her.

“Alright. What is it you want to say?”

What Eloise said next immediately dampened his mood.

“Thanks to your kindness, I’m here now, and I do appreciate it, but I won’t be staying here for long.”

“What do you mean? Speak so I can understand.”

“I’ll only be here until I find a place to stay.”

‘Find a place to stay? If this isn’t a place to stay, then what is it? Is she saying she plans to leave here? After all the effort to find her again.’

As he thought this, Eloise added in a small voice.

“So, only until I have some money.”

“Until you have money?”

“I’ll find a job soon.”

At that, Ansel’s usually relaxed expression hardened instantly. He asked in a cool, low voice, as if he were angry.

“What kind of job do you think you’ll do?”

“……”

Eloise shrank back at his tone but quickly gathered her resolve and straightened her posture. Her fine, honey-colored eyebrows drew together tightly.

“When you visited the place I was staying last summer, I was working. But… now that I think about it, losing that job was because of you.”

“……”

“So I won’t just be grateful for being indebted to you. I think you bear some responsibility for my situation.”

Ansel couldn’t fully understand what Eloise was saying.

But what was certain was that her words just now had somehow eased his mood.

“I don’t know what you mean by losing your job because of me, but it seems things have turned out the way I wanted.”

“……”

“No need to thank me. Just stay here as if it’s the most natural thing.”

“……Pardon?”

Eloise quickly noticed the change in his demeanor.

Why does he suddenly seem pleased? 

Her confusion showed as she frowned slightly.

“I can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Why not…….”

Blinking in bewilderment, Eloise continued, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“How can I stay here as if it’s the most natural thing? An unmarried man and woman living under the same roof―”

“Then let’s get married.”

“Sir Ansel!”

At that moment, Eloise shouted. It was an unintended rudeness, but she didn’t apologize.

Her life had been filled with radiant happiness. It was his false proposal that effortlessly shattered it.

That proposal, which meant nothing to him and could have been made to anyone, ruined everything.

Her once crystal-clear eyes now held traces of anger, and perhaps a bit of hatred.

Ansel thought he might have a vague understanding of the reason. It was right after that thought that he realized further explanation was necessary.

“I tried to deceive myself into thinking I never loved you. Just as you said. I certainly tried. I just failed.”

“……”

“How is that even possible?”

“……Perhaps you didn’t try hard enough.”

“I loved you from the first moment I saw you. Every single day without exception. Even now, I recall the day we swam in the lake.”

At his words, Eloise’s lips slowly closed.

“That day, I wanted to stay submerged there forever.”

“……”

How could she forget? That day, without Sarah or Archibald, they went to the lake alone for the first time.

Everything about that afternoon was magical.

Just meeting each other’s eyes, no words were needed between them. As if they had become two fish.

Eloise remembered how beautiful Ansel looked, glowing white and bluish underwater.

She also remembered following him, spellbound, into the depths.

When she emerged from the water, gasping for air, the afternoon light had already deepened.

They had looked at each other silently under the tilted sun. Watching the gentle ripples sway, she had taken in the view of only his face and the bright blue waves for a long time.

In his eyes, which resembled early summer, there was only her and the blue water. All the light in the world was in them.

Why didn’t she realize that was love back then? Perhaps because she was too young.

Yes. Now it was a memory from so long ago. Like a summer that had ended, now it was all gone.

“……I don’t.”

When Eloise placed her utensils on the plate, a clear sound resonated in the silent dining room. Her empty hands clenched tightly on her lap.

“I didn’t love you.”

Eloise’s eyes, as she said this, were filled with undeniable pain.

Recalling the futile past and hearing the sweet yet hollow words of the man she once loved more than anything were both painful.

She had no intention of questioning whether his words were lies or not.

She had heard from Archibald that Ansel Blaine had loved her since back then.

But this man was from a different world.

No matter how many mistakes he might make, ultimately, he would walk the path predestined from the start with a noble lady, as his family wished.

A duck cannot be a swan’s mate.

Even if they were drawn to each other’s differences and secretly mingled in a corner of the lake for a while, he would eventually return to the flock of swans.

They belonged to different worlds. Once he left after enjoying himself, only a scarred heart would remain.

‘Just like you did to Sally.’

At that moment, Ansel loosened the cravat around his neck. His gaze and voice had deepened slightly.

“Why are you lying? You loved me too.”

“……”

“You definitely did. At least a little.”

He added in a hushed voice.

“You said so that day.”

“That time…”

At that moment, Eloise recalled the night when summer rain fell silently.

‘As if nothing happened. As if we could forget by closing our eyes.’

The fact that her sister’s marriage had broken because of her was enough to completely rob her of her reason.

So it wouldn’t have been strange if she accidentally let slip a piece of the truth she had hidden deep in her heart.

‘Let’s live as if we never loved each other.’

Yes. She had certainly said that. It was, in fact, something she was telling herself.

But whatever it was, just because it was an already spilled truth didn’t mean she could pretend it didn’t exist.

It was surprising that he had clung to those words as if it were a ray of hope in the darkness, but it remained a feeling she had to keep hidden.

“No, you’re wrong. There must have been some misunderstanding. The reason I’m here now is because I had no other choice…”

“……”

Ansel simply met her gaze without asking further questions. His eyes seemed to be looking at something very deep and distant.

As a result, a heavy silence naturally settled in the dining room. The sound of her lips parting could be heard.

“Embarrassingly, I can’t afford the deposit, but I can somehow manage the rent. I’ll quickly find a job—”

“Are you joking right now?”

Finally, Ansel spoke.

True to his innate elegance, he neither raised his voice nor flushed his face, but he was clearly angry.

Eloise, feeling the sharp gaze piercing her, couldn’t help but know this.

Indeed, for a noble, accepting money from a penniless commoner might feel like an insult. It had always been the other way around.

Having arrived at this conclusion without much difficulty, Eloise answered calmly.

“Then I’ll do chores. Will that be acceptable?”

“Even if I turned my back on my family, I can still afford to keep a servant. Do you think the person who guided you was a ghost?”

“……”

Eloise tightly grasped her dress.

Facing his unwavering gaze head-on was always a daunting task.

But now, she had to stand her ground.

“Still, I can’t stay here without giving anything in return. I can’t allow that.”

Eloise, who had been stubborn since childhood, was surprisingly unchanged even after reaching adulthood.

Sometimes she disliked this about herself, but she didn’t know how to bend her beliefs as long as she believed she was right.

Even if the man in front of her coldly pressed her once more.

“Fine.”

But the response she received was somehow a bit softened.

“Then should I give you a job? I happen to have something suitable.”