A week ago, Reizen’s attitude changed. He seemed to be trying to get along with her well, but for a while he drew a line saying not to come to the study.

Melissa tried to understand him. Knowing that he struggled every night because of her, it would be shameless to resent the prince.

Even though she tried to be helpful by his side, since he didn’t want it, Melissa did what she could do. That was taking care of and managing the inside and outside of the castle that Reizen had missed while staying in the capital.

During that time, the castle people became familiar with Melissa’s face. But sometimes accidents like this happened when they wouldn’t listen to her, like Mr. Robert.

The servants carrying the old man were wandering in the corridor, not knowing where to go. Melissa opened the reception room door right next to them and said.

“Let’s lay him down in the reception room for now.”

After laying Robert on the sofa in the reception room, she told the maid to call Horrux. Throughout the process, Melissa remained calm.

“But madam, you must go inside quickly…”

After hesitating for a moment while fidgeting in place, Laila ran off crying to call Horrux.

She didn’t know why Reizen told her not to go outside today. He wouldn’t answer when she asked.

It was hard to even talk like before since he found it painful to come close and make eye contact. Melissa felt more and more like a sinner. As guilt piled up in her heart, she sometimes became afraid that he might abandon her.

So Melissa felt she needed to take care of the castle people even more. Perhaps she wanted to prove her usefulness through this.

Blood from the old man’s torn head stained the sofa red.

“The blood, the blood…!”

“We need to stop the bleeding.”

As she calmly spoke while looking around for anything that might help. That’s when.

“Why are you here?”

Reizen coldly snapped as he saw her – soaking wet hair, dress covered in mud, hands and face a mess with splattered blood.

“Go back, to your room.”

“But.”

The man who wouldn’t even look at her properly passed by her and approached Robert. He took out a clean handkerchief and pressed it against Robert’s head to stop the bleeding.

“Go upstairs. Don’t make me say it twice.”

People moved in perfect coordination under Reizen’s command. Their movements were much more tense and faster than when she was there.

Her hands stained with blood trembled.

Horrux brushed past her shoulder. The physician who had hurried to arrive tried to do his job. Several people moved with Reizen at the center. Only she seemed to orbit far from that center, isolated.

Why couldn’t she belong here?

What should she do to fit in with them?

Just what kind of effort would it take…

Melissa felt increasingly desperate.

“Please go upstairs now, madam.”

Laila who had returned wrapped her arms around Melissa’s and turned her steps.

“Mr. Robert! Are you conscious? Mr. Robert!”

Behind them, she heard the physician’s voice calling the gardener’s name. Melissa trudged along following Laila’s guidance, leaving the physician’s voice behind.

And not long after, she encountered the reason why she had to go upstairs.

“Seems I came at a bad time.”

Her hands and feet went numb at the familiar voice that bored into her ears. Her heart beat rapidly.

“I was a bit upset hearing you married the prince. But seeing your state…”

The Count of Maidos who recently received his title.

“I’m glad to see you look miserable, Melissa.”

He was her first husband.

***

Melissa clutched her face with trembling hands. Her hands stained with blood shook uncontrollably.

Memories she had buried deep in her heart and never meant to unearth again rose like wisps of smoke.

“Melissa, let’s run away together.”

As the second son of a count’s family, he was far from the line of succession anyway. He said rather than staying in the count’s family only to be drafted into the imperial army later, he wanted to live an ordinary life with Melissa.

They had only seen each other in passing once or twice in social circles when they were young. Every time he secretly spoke to Melissa when visiting Marita’s shop, her heart wavered helplessly.

It didn’t have to be him specifically. She just needed someone, anyone, to pull her out of hell.

“It’s tonight. You must come out at the exact time, okay?”

Brown hair and black eyes. The man had an ordinary appearance and innocent impression. Perhaps from growing up as a second son, he seemed to lack particular ambition in life, and didn’t appear to look down on those beneath him.

But once she actually left with him, he revealed his true colors in less than a few days.

Slap-!

“I told you not to laugh outside! Do you know what I just heard near the mill?”

To live ordinarily as he said, she had to work outside. With no servants, she had to buy bread and vegetables from the grocery store and cook food herself. But what could she know about housekeeping when she had only eaten meals prepared by others all her life?

Everything was clumsy and unfamiliar to Melissa. When she needed help, neighbors would approach warmly with advice so she could prepare meals.

But Maidos who came home drunk only wanted her body. The man with alcohol on his breath swept away the carefully prepared meal with one hand and laid her on the dining table.

She already had an aversion to that act, but her husband wouldn’t wait. Rather, when she tried to refuse, he grabbed her neck and pressed her down on the table.

Food stuck to her struggling hands.

“Why are you refusing me. Who are you to ignore me!”

Saying how dare she act proud when she’s from an already ruined family, he struck her cheeks mercilessly. Her mind went hazy. Melissa, pale white, fumbled until she grabbed the bread knife.

“You damn b*tch…!”

With both hands covered in blood, she limped out dragging one leg. The rural village with stars densely dotted in the pre-dawn sky was only quiet.

Crying silently, she knocked on a neighbor’s door. The woodcutter couple shouted as they caught Melissa who collapsed after walking for all of 40 minutes to reach their cabin in the forest.

When she regained consciousness after passing out, she was in Marita Loge’s shop. While recovering with medicine locked in a dark room, Rael visited just once.

Rael quietly said to her who lay like a corpse only staring at the sky.

“If you abandoned me and ran away, you shouldn’t have come back.”

I didn’t abandon you.

“You idiot, if you were going to come back looking like this, you should’ve just died!”

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry…

Honestly, I was selfish. While you were living in this hell, I left you to seek my own happiness.

Sister is sorry… Just, sorry for everything…

That day, Melissa felt despair like falling into a deep pit. Pursuing her own happiness was wrong. If she was going to leave, she should have taken Rael with her.

Why did I run away? Why was I swayed by his words? It wasn’t like I particularly liked that man. It was just an impulsive decision, enchanted by his words offering escape from this place.

Melissa regretted it too late. Rael became even colder to her, and Melissa who was already quiet didn’t know what to say to Rael.

All Melissa could do was bring clean drinking water to Rael’s waiting room or clean her room.

She had thought wrong. They should have been unhappy together. She should have thrown away the selfish desire to be happy alone.

It was a memory she wanted to erase if possible. She resolved never to make such a foolish escape again, and to take all the incoming misfortune head on.

She thought that if she did so, someday, someday there would be an end.

After returning, Melissa cried from guilt every night. From the day she ran away with Maidos, Melissa came to believe that her heart must never be happy for even a moment.

When even a brief moment of happiness came, she worried.

‘Am I allowed to smile like this?’

Even when her heart fluttered and beat lovingly, her inner unhappiness naturally emerged to suppress her feelings.

‘I shouldn’t be happy.’

Meeting Maidos again brought back memories of her past mistake. Guilt washed over her. She felt disgusted at how contradictory it was that she wanted to stay by Reizen’s side and desired that man’s attention.

The unhappiness inside Melissa whispered.

Be honest. Actually, you followed him because you wanted to be happy alone, right?

Her lips slowly parted.

You always wanted to leave your sister when you had the chance. You actually thought Rael was a burden, right?

Tears welled up and fell drop by drop over her blank staring eyes.

If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t have stayed there longer. Your life wouldn’t have been this ruined.