Chapter 3 – First Sin

I have held feelings for her for over ten years. She is a woman I dare not even look at, and I knew my feelings were beyond my station. I have not yet earned the right to possess her.

No, it would be more accurate to say I deceived myself. The years of patience and restraint were meaningless, for as soon as I had the opportunity, I lost control and committed a sin.

It was earlier this year. Already half a year ago.

As you know, spring is a time of many personnel changes. It is when resources and talents that have been dormant all winter begin to move. The place where she stayed was no exception.

By chance, I learned that my servant’s lover had become her maid. The night I found out, a frightening plan formed within me without me realizing it.

Saintess. Do you know about the Lucdia flower? The Lucdia flower is famous for its beautiful red double petals and its heavy fragrance that spreads beyond Ilbersta. But there is another effect known only to the Imperial Family. If you finely grind well-dried Lucdia flowers and mix them with certain perfumes, anyone who drinks it will not wake up for six hours, no matter what happens.

On the day she welcomed her new maid, I picked Lucdia flowers from the garden.

I hung the red double petals upside down in her bedroom. It takes two weeks for the flowers to dry. The days and nights of the tropics passed without event. No, I can’t say nothing happened. There was a hellish battle raging in my heart.

At night, I would burn with fever, imagining her pale body exposed, and in the morning, I would kneel before God in repentance. Yet I never thought of throwing away the Lucdia flowers, so all my repentance was false. Until the dewy, fresh petals dried up like tea leaves, my heart remained in its h*ll.

The night I made my final decision was pitch black. Fierce clouds hid the starlight, and I couldn’t see an inch ahead. Sitting in the darkness without even a candle, I spent the night wide awake.

At last, at dawn, as the fresh spring air drifted in through the window, I ground the dried petals with a trembling heart. The powder, red as blood, was so soft. Thinking it would lead me to her, it looked sacred, like a relic.

* * *

Karil, speaking as if entranced, took a sip of tea from the table. Despite confessing to planning to take a woman without her permission, his face was impeccably composed.

“Saintess. This confession may take longer than expected. Is a lengthy story alright? If you’re tired, I can return another time.”

It didn’t sound like he was pointing out her earlier rudeness; his gaze was filled with genuine concern. It was an affectionate tone, inappropriate for their relationship. It wasn’t unpleasant, because it didn’t feel like pestering, but rather a delicate care for what was his.

Either way, it was absurd, and Ariena smiled as she drew a line.

“No, it’s just the drowsiness after a late lunch, so please don’t worry.”

“I’m glad you didn’t skip a meal. As the weather gets colder, you’ll need nourishing, hearty food.”

“Thank you for your concern, but rich food isn’t fitting for a Priestess. As you know, the month before the harvest festival is also a month of fasting.”

“…I’ve heard so. Does that mean you don’t eat for a whole month?”

Ariena gave a troubled smile. It was odd for him to dig into her eating habits in the middle of a crude confession. She gently shifted the topic.

“I didn’t know you were so interested in temple affairs, Lord.”

“I am the Emperor’s son before I am a knight. The more I know about the country’s affairs, the better.”

Karil asked with the politeness of a knight, yet with persistence.

His words reminded Ariena of her own status, so she reluctantly answered. But she resisted sharing her dietary habits with a stranger.

“A Priest’s frugality is both discipline and honor. During fasting, we eat like beggars on the street, to remind ourselves we are humble servants of God.”

Karil crossed his legs and leaned deep into the chair. Waves of incomprehensible emotion surged in his blue eyes, like the Black Sea. His sharp gaze seemed almost angry, and Ariena calmly guessed the reason.

She realized—there had been a temple orphanage embezzlement scandal years ago. The man before her had donated a sum equivalent to several years’ budget. Ariena quietly defended the temple.

“But compared to street beggars, our food is luxurious. Especially for the children, we make sure their meals support healthy growth.”

“Compared to street beggars, you say.”

Karil tightened his clasped hands atop his crossed knee. His knuckles turned white.

“Hearing that helps me make up my mind.”

“…….”

“Seeing that you are not in perfect health, Saintess, I thought to finish the confession another time. But it seems best to complete it as soon as possible.”

Karil spoke in a courteous tone, but his blue eyes flickered with unknown passion, making Ariena tense.

* * *

After that, everything flowed smoothly, like water. The servant’s lover was, beyond her station, a greedy woman who betrayed a noble vow for a few coins. She had no loyalty to a master she had only just begun to serve.

The maid, who recklessly bargained with her master’s purity, left the door open for him. Inside the room, bathed in full moonlight, she lay asleep. Overwhelmed by her sacred beauty, he stood frozen like a statue for a long while.

Then, he realized something. Nearly ten years had passed since he first held her in his heart, yet he had rarely looked closely at her face. This realization brought a sense of lacking. He knelt by her bedside, carefully studying the face he loved.

She was beautiful. Her silver hair, so delicate it seemed it would melt if touched, sparkled like a fairy beneath the moonlight. Her long lashes and soft cheeks gently rose and fell with sleep. The lips he had never been allowed to gaze upon were among the most beautiful he had ever seen.

He didn’t dare touch her, so he simply stared at her like a fool. He didn’t know how long he sat there, lost in awe.

Then she murmured something and turned over in her sleep. His heart plummeted, and he barely stifled a sound. More than going to war, he feared being caught by her waking eyes. He froze, unable even to breathe, while his heart pounded as if it would burst.

Fortunately, she was merely having a bad dream. Her neat brow furrowed mysteriously, and her plump lips parted, revealing a hint of red.

But the nightmare was already upon her bed. He saw her crimson tongue brush against her white teeth, and the next moment, he was already kissing her soft lips. The rosy flesh was sweet, moist, and warm—no fragrant wine could compare.

He lost control, greedily tasting the innocence she’d never given to anyone. He wrapped his tongue around hers, drawing her in deeply. Her flushed cheeks, gasping for breath, were so endearing. The urge to bite and swallow her soft lips and tiny tongue flared within him.

Had he stopped there, this moment would never have come—no sin, no confession. But if he was going to stop, he shouldn’t have begun at all.

He began to undress her nightgown. D*mn it. Undressing a woman was as difficult as peeling a dragon’s scales. He has gotten used to it now, but back then, as a complete novice, his hands trembled as he struggled with each button.

Ah, but the pure body slowly revealed beneath the moonlight was so beautiful. For the first time, he understood the fools who worshipped their ladies. Such beauty could only exist by the grace of God, sleeping alive before him.

Upon her ivory skin, an emerald cross pendant shimmered green.

In the moonlight, she looked as pure as a fairy, yet also like a temptress who could corrupt a man’s mind with desire.

He kissed her smooth, porcelain-like br*ast, and the name of God escaped his lips. To pray in gratitude while violating a woman—he truly was a sinner destined for hellfire.

Her ivory br*asts were unexpectedly full, overflowing in his hands for the first time. He dared not squeeze too hard, only gently kneading their heavenly softness.

Yet something was odd. Though he was a virgin, he had led hundreds of rough men and knew what women’s bodies looked like. But she had no peak to her br*ast; it was flat, without any protruding flesh.