Chapter 1.1

Life is originally unfair.

In this world, some people are born with many things, while others are born without much. Such differences at birth are unavoidable.

That’s why people often say life is unfair.

It took her quite a long time to realize this unchanging truth.

Even after four years, the memory of that day remains vivid in her mind.

The day she stepped out into the cold winter street, ignoring the stinging pain on her cheek, carrying a light bag filled with only the essentials.

“…Chernor Marquis Residence on Luden Street, Chernor Marquis Residence, Luden Street… Harold Winston.”

It was the name of an uncle she had seen a long time ago and the address she had seen on an envelope.

Fearing she might forget, she kept repeating them as she moved her heavy steps, and only after a long while did the large buildings and well-paved roads begin to faintly come into view.

Luden Street, where many wealthy lords lived, was so wide and luxurious that it felt almost radiant. It was a wonder to her how they managed such a large street.

“…Whew.”

Having rushed for hours bundled up tightly, she felt breathless and stifled. Only after lowering the scarf wrapped around her face below her chin did she see the white breath scatter into the cold winter air of dawn.

The weather was so severely cold that it wouldn’t have been surprising if she got frostbite. The wind was so strong that the exposed skin felt sore. Moreover, having walked continuously since last night, even her legs felt weak.

But she couldn’t stop here. She rubbed her ice-cold cheeks and nose with her palms and soon hurried her steps.

Fortunately, there were no people passing by due to the extremely cold weather. If anyone had seen the dry and shabby-looking girl passing through this affluent neighborhood, they would have immediately called the guards to chase her away like a rat from the kitchen.

As she walked, wary of anyone approaching, she unknowingly arrived at the most grandiose mansion in this wealthy street.

A place where a commoner like her would never have the chance to set foot until death.

At the entrance, a guard in armor was standing, picking his ear.

“…….”

Clutching her worn-out bag tightly, she took a deep breath and moved towards him.

“Hello, Sir. I’m looking for Harold Winston.”

Approaching the guard who was keeping his post with a bored expression, she greeted him as politely as possible and handed over the money she had gathered when leaving home. Though it was her entire savings, collected diligently from her meager allowance, it looked pitifully small in the guard’s thick hand.

“Are you talking about Harold, the Marquis’s aide? He might be awake now….”

Whether it was due to her polite attitude or purely because of the bribe, the guard fortunately didn’t shout at her to leave or threaten her by pushing her.

Feeling relieved, her next words flowed smoothly. She clasped her hands tightly and looked up at the guard with a desperate expression.

“Please, I know you won’t believe me, but he’s my family. Just let me meet him.”

“Well, coming without any notice like this….”

The guard alternated between looking at her face and the money, then sighed and gestured to her.

“Follow me.”

“…Yes!”

Suppressing the urge to cheer, she followed the guard.

The yard was so vast that it took a while to reach the mansion’s door after passing through the huge iron gate. Just as they were about to enter, the guard stopped and looked her up and down, speaking indifferently.

“Stay outside; you’ll dirty the mansion.”

Her clothes were old, not dirty.

“…Yes.”

She almost retorted out of sudden irritation but managed to swallow it. She couldn’t speak like that to a guard of a noble family, likely at least of knight status, and she was undeniably in a shabby appearance.

While she fiddled with her hole-ridden stockings and patched coat, the guard called over a maid who was carrying luggage in the yard.

After gesturing towards her and speaking to the maid, the maid nodded and went inside the mansion.

“Wait there. Don’t let anyone see you.”

With those words, the guard returned to his post with a swagger.

She stood with her feet together, gripping her bag tightly.

“…….”

About ten minutes had passed since the maid went inside, and her patience was wearing thin. The chilly air seeped through her clothes, making her shiver, and the sharp wind kept her sniffling. She braced her legs that felt like they might give way and tightened her collar, thinking.

How long would I have to wait?

As the cold grew more intense, she considered ignoring the guard’s words and just going inside. And at that moment, she heard the heavy sound of the large door opening, and startled, she straightened her posture, forgetting the cold.

Her uncle, with tousled hair and slightly disheveled attire, stood next to the maid she had seen earlier. Looking around, he found her and approached with a shocked expression.

“Raven? Is that you, Raven?”

Even though her face was a mess with bruises and dried tear marks, her uncle recognized his niece, whom he had last seen years ago, at a glance.

Her uncle hurriedly draped his coat over her shivering body.

“What happened to your face…? What on earth happened?”

“…….”

His eyes were filled with concern for her, and it made her feel like crying.

She took a trembling breath and embraced her uncle, and that was the last memory of that day.

Relaxed by the warmth, she fell asleep. Though she didn’t know it, her uncle said later that her forehead was burning with fever.

It was no wonder, given she had walked for half a day from the outskirts of the capital with a frail, starved body in this cold weather, even though she wore layers of clothes.

* * *

When her surname was Chase, not Winston, during her childhood, she thought it didn’t need to be said how terribly unhappy it was.

Life, in short, was only slightly better than a gutter. If one were to start explaining, it would take several sleepless nights.

A father who was a gamekeeper for a nearby noble and a mother who worked in a restaurant. 

Having four children in a not-so-affluent household was unfortunate in itself. Moreover, they were all younger brothers except for her, which said it all.

The three younger brothers were lazy and foolish, treating her like their maid, always pestering her whenever they got the chance.

Moreover, her parents were still stuck in the outdated belief that as a girl, she should always be modest in her behavior, help with the household, and eventually become a wise and virtuous wife. These days, times have changed so much that women can become successful merchants or hold important positions.

If anyone were to criticize her for speaking too harshly about her family, she would tell them to shut up.

At around six years old, when she was old enough to make rational judgments, she realized that in this house, there were fingers that didn’t hurt even if bitten.

While her brothers played tirelessly every day, she was the one who had to do the housework, and she was the one who had to listen to her mother’s complaints all night whenever her parents fought. Despite this, her allowance was always half of her brothers’, and her room was much smaller than theirs.

It was blatant discrimination. But did she meekly prepare to get married? No, she did not.

Fortunately, she was quite good at studying and had a sharp mind for a commoner. Even though it was a commoner school, she was always at the top, and her learning speed was far superior to her peers’.

Opening a book and immersing herself in the knowledge within became inevitably her favorite thing in the world. Mathematics, history, literature, economics, science. Expanding her studies was as thrilling as being an explorer searching for treasure, and she loved anything she could read.

Though she was a commoner and a girl, making it a very slim possibility, she wanted to escape this cramped and dirty place and succeed on her own merits someday.

However, that dream was soon shattered. She could no longer attend school starting the year she turned twelve. Instead, Jonas, who had never looked at a book in his life, started attending school.

“Do you know how expensive tuition for higher education is? What’s the point of a girl studying? Girls should stay at home, and men should handle the big matters.”

This was her father’s lifelong theory.

She wondered what this was all about, but at the time, she didn’t even dare to voice her thoughts. She clung to the irresponsible promise that they would send her back to school once the family’s situation improved.

Still, she never gave up on studying. She obtained discarded books from nearby bookstores or libraries and read them by candlelight late at night. Many of them were not at her level, but it didn’t matter. As she read, she naturally learned.

But even after two years, she still couldn’t go to school. On the day she finally gathered the courage to ask to be sent back to school, even if it wasn’t a higher school, her parents delivered the most dreadful news she never wanted to remember.

“The baker’s son across the street says he likes you.”

It was marriage news that only she hadn’t known about. She was so shocked that she spat out the water she was drinking.

They said he had been watching her for a long time, that marrying into a family with a shop would be good, and added that she knew the family’s situation was difficult, and after all, daughters are the foundation of household wealth.

For reference, she was fourteen at the time. Although it wasn’t uncommon for poor commoners to marry off their young daughters as if selling them, she never imagined it could happen to her.

The baker’s son, who looked like a lump of dough, was stupid, had a bad personality, and lacked any ability or sense. In short, he was the type of person she hated most in the world. She would rather hold her breath and die than marry such a person.

“…Why me? I don’t want to!”

Stunned by the thunderous news, she stood up and shouted loudly enough to shake the roof.

It was the first time her always obedient daughter rebelled, and her parents were visibly flustered. Looking back, it seemed that all the pent-up resentment exploded at once.

No, I don’t want to get married. I’ve done everything you asked until now. Why do I have to live like this while the brothers you spent money on only eat and play?

Having shouted without a moment to gather her thoughts, she couldn’t remember what she said or what her parents said.

Something about her brothers, something about a dowry.

She only clearly remembered that as she looked up at her father with rebellious eyes, the atmosphere, which had been soft as if trying to coax her, suddenly turned cold.

In the end, it was only after being slapped several times by her father, who had stood up in anger, that she realized.

Ah, I have no reason to stay here from the beginning.

There’s no need to cling to the name of family after a hundred times of neglect just because they showed kindness once.

So she left her shameless family and stormed out of the house, taking only the small savings she had painstakingly saved and some simple clothes.