Chapter 2.8

Fortunately, she didn’t receive a letter from the Marquis scolding her for not beating Leonard. She had been somewhat worried, given how the Marquis usually made such a fuss, but it was a relief.  

Enoch, whom she occasionally ran into, provoked and annoyed her, but since this wasn’t the Marquisate, ignoring him was enough, so it didn’t matter much.  

Before she knew it, more than three months had passed since she started attending the academy. Eating meals and studying together over time, she felt she had become somewhat close to Leonard.  

Well, her social circle was still pathetically small, though.  

Anyway, thanks to Leonard, the strange rumors about her gradually subsided.  

She still couldn’t understand why Leonard was overly friendly to her, but she couldn’t deny that he was gradually becoming a part of her daily life.  

Meanwhile, she was preparing for the upcoming final exams.  

Having lost to Leonard in the last exam, she felt a sense of urgency and studied even harder this time. She even scared her roommate by having nosebleeds at night but didn’t put the book down.  

It felt like she was hitting a physical limit and was about to die. Naturally, her personality became sensitive, and her nerves were on edge.  

“Raven, aren’t you studying too hard?”  

“I have to do it this time, to be the top student.”  

Rubbing her dry eyes vigorously, she replied to Leonard without taking her eyes off the book.  

“Even so, it seems like you’re overdoing it these days. You can always study, so take a break….”  

When Leonard protested, she inadvertently muttered in a cold voice.  

“…You don’t know my situation.”  

“Hmm?”  

“Oh, no. Let’s talk later, I need to study.”  

Leonard probably said it out of concern for her…. His constant talking made her unknowingly snap in irritation.  

No matter how hard studying was, she shouldn’t have taken it out on an innocent person….  

Feeling embarrassed, she shook her head and turned her gaze back to the book. There was a lot to do and not enough time.  

* * *  

In the finals, where she studied to the point of death, determined to beat Leonard this time, she again came in second. Moreover, the score gap between her and the first-place Leonard had widened.  

“…….”  

Even the small hope she had held onto for days shattered into pieces.  

As she stood there, drained of energy and staring blankly at the grade sheet as if bewitched, Leonard approached her.  

“Um, Raven. If you’re not busy today, would you like to….”  

Today, Leonard seemed especially shy.  

But she wasn’t free enough to notice that he was a bit different from usual.

Seeing the rankings posted on the wall, and the number 2 next to her name, she felt a sense of frustration.  

Why is that? She had worked so hard. She could confidently say she worked harder than anyone else. She could even guarantee she worked harder than Leonard, who seemed so relaxed throughout the exam period.  

“…Sorry.”  

In the end, she muttered in a small voice and hurriedly left Leonard behind.  

And that evening, she received a letter from the Marquisate.  

The letter, which seemed to echo the Marquis’s voice just by looking at it, contained the usual cold and rigid words. 

Why didn’t you become the top student? The money seems wasted. Send me your exam papers….  

Objectively speaking, the words weren’t that harsh, but each one stabbed her heart like a dagger. She couldn’t help but feel sorrowful. It was even more so because she had done almost everything perfectly until now, whether it was studying or anything else.  

Along with the sorrow, she found herself irrationally resenting Leonard, who was probably feeling at ease. This made her feel miserable for being anxious over a patron’s letter, and that misery eventually turned into self-blame.  

Why did I get that question wrong? Why didn’t I study more?

After blaming herself thoroughly, her sorrow gradually turned into resentment towards Leonard, who took the top spot. It was her fault. That was an undeniable fact. Leonard had just taken the exam as usual and received good grades.  

But Leonard, you have so much even without the top student title. You’re the son of a Duke, kind, and well-liked.  

In contrast, what am I, being second place? Just a trivial, powerless commoner that anyone can ignore.  

No one congratulates me. No one remembers.  

“…….”  

She buried her face in the pillow, holding back tears.  

* * *  

The first semester ended so anticlimactically, and during the summer vacation that followed, she was thoroughly drilled by the Marquis.

He looked at her with cold eyes and assigned her a new tutor, making her study almost all day. It was unbearable, but there was nothing she could do in the face of the clear fact that she hadn’t beaten Leonard all semester.  

Several letters from Leonard arrived for her during the vacation, but engulfed in gloom, she didn’t bother to open them.  

Vacations were originally meant for fun, but she returned from it utterly exhausted. It was to the point that the start of the new semester felt like a relief.  

“Long time no see, Raven. Did you have a good vacation?”  

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”  

She answered Leonard, who greeted her warmly, with a vague response and turned her gaze back to the book she was holding.  

Honestly, it had become somewhat difficult to face Leonard properly since some time ago. Whether it was because the Marquis kept instilling ‘overthrow Leonard’ in her, or due to her personal feelings. The purple eyes were hard to look at because of the occasionally rising resentment-like feelings.  

She sighed inwardly and tightened her grip on the pen.  

In any case, she absolutely had to be the top student this time, so she couldn’t rest even for a moment.  

* * *  

And in the midterm exams of the second semester, where she put in all her effort to beat Leonard, she was second again. As always, Leonard Klein was the top student.  

She tried not to show it outside, but as soon as she returned to her room, she buried herself under the blankets and cried silently.  

Since finding out her grades, she felt like her insides were burning, but Leonard, the main cause, behaved as friendly and kind as ever. That made it even more painful, so at some point, she began to avoid Leonard without realizing it.  

After several days of this, Enoch called out to her.  

“Hey, Raven.”  

She frowned slightly and looked at Enoch from a distance. He gave a sly smile and nodded his head.  

“Long time no see, second place? What’s going on? You were so full of yourself.”  

“…….”  

“You two were always together. Did you play around and not study?”  

Enoch, tapping the grade paper on the wall, had a face full of ridicule. Seeing her name next to the number 2, she bit her lip hard.  

“Pathetic.”  

Her reflection was clearly visible in Enoch’s crescent-shaped turquoise eyes. Feeling as pathetic as Enoch’s words suggested, she bit her lip until it bled.  

She fled back to her dormitory room, feeling dizzy. She eventually grasped the desk as her vision spun.  

Her mind was a mess with thoughts of grades and Leonard.  

Leonard Klein and herself.  

Top student and second place, sponsor….  

“……!”  

Breathing heavily, she couldn’t hold back her rising anger and swept all the books piled on her desk onto the floor. The thick books fell with a heavy thud, scattering across the floor.  

Despite having a mountain of things to do, like reviewing, preparing, and homework, she clutched her head and collapsed onto the bed instead of sitting at the desk. As the ceiling above her spun wildly, she closed her eyes in agony.  

“Well done, Raven! Second place, that’s amazing!”  

This morning, when Leonard Klein smiled at her like that, other students exclaimed how kind he was.  

It might have been meant as comfort or encouragement, but from the perspective of someone who lost the top spot, his smile felt infuriating enough to make her want to rip out his pretty blond hair. The more infuriating part was that from Leonard’s perspective, it was likely a pure congratulations. Pathetically so.  

She was dying of curiosity. How could Leonard, after crushing her so thoroughly, greet her with such a bright expression as if nothing happened? After ruining everything, how could he be so shameless….  

Of course, she knew this was close to her own paranoia. Leonard had studied hard and legitimately earned the top spot, and she had simply lost in the competition with him.  

She understood her defeat logically, but accepting it was a different matter.  

“…Annoying bastard.”  

After hating Leonard thoroughly, she felt a deep disgust towards herself for feeling inferior to someone so kind and immaculate. She felt like she was terribly wrong for antagonizing Leonard.  

When she closed her eyes, the letters from the books she had just read, Leonard’s smiling face, and the numbers on the grade sheet floated around in a jumble.  

She opened her eyes, which were tightly clenched with a deeply distorted and grimaced face.  

Leonard’s name next to the number 1, and her name below it, along with Leonard smiling brightly in front of her.  

The gap between that kind smile and the numbers on the wall tormented her.  

Was this why I studied so hard all this time?  

“…….”  

After lying on the bed for a long time, lost in thought, she realized that sharing the top spot with Leonard in the entrance exam was purely luck.  

She had worked really hard, as hard as she could, thinking she couldn’t do any better…. 

No matter how much more I studied, could I ever beat Leonard even once? If things continued like this, what would happen to me? Would the Marquis really kick me out? Where would I go then?  

She fell asleep amidst a myriad of thoughts. When she struggled to open her eyes, it was already morning. It seemed she had fallen asleep just like that yesterday.  

With the sunlight blindingly illuminating the entire room, she held her still dizzy head and got out of bed. In the mirror she glanced at, there was a girl with bloodshot eyes and a ghostly appearance.  

After half-heartedly tidying her hair, she checked the mess in the room. Having fallen asleep right after the previous night’s chaos, she saw the disordered desk and floor. In the end, she only grabbed the necessary books from the scattered ones and left the room.  

“Oh, hi Raven. You’re out a bit early today?”

As soon as she stepped out of the dormitory and entered the hallway, Leonard approached with a smiling face, waving in the bright sunlight. Seeing his face and hearing his voice made her feel a wave of nausea, as if by magic.  

She stood there without responding to his greeting.  

“…….”  

Was it the pressure from the Marquis to beat Leonard that was weighing her down? Or was it the overwhelming difference in talent between Leonard and herself that was crushing her spirit?  

Perhaps it was both. The important thing was that Leonard no longer appeared as the kind and good person he used to be.