Chapter 6.2
After some thought, Professor Charlier finally spoke.
“Now that I think about it, you’ve expressed doubts about your role as an aide before.”
“It’s not so much doubt… as a lack of confidence.”
Seeing Lyla’s shrinking demeanor, Professor Charlier furrowed his brows. His expression showed some dissatisfaction, but Lyla, with her head lowered, didn’t notice.
“To be honest, I’m concerned. I’m not sure you could earn as much in the capital as you do as an aide. Are you really okay with that?”
“I’ve already endured a life of poverty before coming to the ducal residence, so I’m immune to it.”
Lyla smiled faintly. As she spoke her vague thoughts aloud, her resolve grew stronger.
‘I’ll leave Kadis’s side.’
Finally, Lyla concluded that this was the best course of action.
The sudden changes in Kadis and the guilt of deceiving him had pushed her to the brink, leaving her unable to think clearly. The guilt that had accumulated over years of living a lie had reached its breaking point.
Deep down, she had always anticipated this day would come.
One day, she would have to leave Kadis. She should leave. Staying by his side forever was a selfish wish.
She had simply never imagined parting in this way.
“Hmm. Won’t it be difficult to adjust if your standard of living drops suddenly?”
Unlike Lyla, who had made up her mind, Professor Charlier seemed to hope she would reconsider.
“I’m genuinely worried about you, Lyle. I say this because I see you as my own child. So why don’t you think it over a bit more? This doesn’t seem like a decision to make on impulse.”
Hearing Charlier say he thought of her as a child reminded Lyla of her late father. As her eyes welled up again, Charlier seized the moment to press further.
“What does the Duke think about this?”
“…Lord Kadis,”
“Did something happen between you two that I don’t know about? If you both have a deep conversation, I’m sure any misunderstandings can be resolved.”
Misunderstanding.
This wasn’t just a simple misunderstanding.
It was a lie that had shaken someone’s entire life.
“I can’t tell Lord Kadis.”
Lyla shook her head.
“Why not? What reason could you have for not telling him?”
“Because I’ve been deceiving him all this time. Not just Lord Kadis, but you and everyone else.”
“Deceiving us?”
Professor Charlier widened his eyes in surprise.
—Lyla! Hide behind me!
Her late brother’s voice echoed in Lyla’s head.
Her brother had died because of her.
—I’m sorry, my daughter.
Her father had also died because of her lies.
—Even so, I thought you were different. Kind and thoughtful in ways other men aren’t…
—Our lady has liked you for a long time!
She had hurt people by hiding the fact that she was a woman.
—Act like a man, Lyle.
Kadis was among those she had hurt.
Perhaps it would be better for her to disappear.
Not just for Kadis’s sake, but for the peace of the North as well…
At that moment, something inside Lyla snapped.
“I’m not Lyle.”
“Pardon? Haha, is this some kind of joke?”
Charlier asked with a kind smile, his tone light.
After much deliberation, Lyla decided to reveal the truth. At least to the one person she’d be leaving the North with.
Since she had already decided to leave, there was no need to continue deceiving the professor. It was time to live authentically, without lies.
If anyone deserved to know the truth, it was the professor, who might be able to help her.
Above all, Lyla saw her late father in Charlier.
If only she had been honest with her father about being Lyla from the start…
That regret and guilt pushed her forward.
As if confessing her sins to a deity, Lyla began to unload the burden she had carried alone for so long.
“Lyle was my twin brother who passed away. I’ve been pretending to be him all this time. I wanted to protect my father, and with my uncle constantly scheming to take the title of Earl, I had no choice.”
Lyla turned her face slightly to the side, avoiding Charlier’s gaze. Her long lashes, damp with tears, glistened faintly.
Charlier stared at her, dumbfounded.
“Haha, Lyle, I almost fell for that. Did the Duke put you up to this as a prank?”
He asked, snapping back to his senses.
“I wish it were a joke.”
Lyla slowly lifted her head.
Her tear-streaked face, the redness around her eyes, her lips bitten raw, and her frame, which seemed unusually delicate today—all of it—
‘Hearing that… she does faintly resemble a woman.’
Charlier blinked hard, as if he were seeing things.
For a fleeting moment, he even felt the urge to strip her of her clothes to confirm the truth. That would be the only way to know for certain.
While Charlier suppressed that impulse, Lyla seemed to sense his thoughts and took a step back.
“Excuse me, Professor. Please allow me.”
“?”
Lyla turned her back to him and began rubbing at the bandages under her clothes. As the bindings loosened, the flat surface of her chest gradually swelled.
She looked at her now-rounded chest in silence before turning back to face Charlier.
Because she saw him as a father figure, she naively believed he wouldn’t view her as a woman.
“Do you believe me now?”
The moment Professor Charlier saw Lyla’s upper body, he clenched his teeth tightly.
Even recently, he had felt an inexplicable attraction to the Earl, whose aura had grown strangely seductive since their reunion.
He had no interest in men, so when he heard that the Earl’s twin sister had died young after being attacked by a bear, he had felt more regret than sympathy.
But now, standing before him was none other than the Earl’s twin sister, whom he had thought long dead!
Professor Charlier bit down on the soft flesh inside his mouth to suppress the rush of blood surging between his legs. Yet outwardly, he maintained a gentle smile.
“Lyle, no… Miss Lyla.”
Having calmed his mind, Charlier placed a hand on Lyla’s shoulder. Lyla silently gazed at his hand.
How long had it been?
How long since someone had called me by my real name?
Strangely, though, instead of joy, she felt a pang of regret. Deep down, had she wished that Kadis would be the first to call her by that name?
Lyla chastised herself for such an impure thought.
She could never tell Kadis. She had no intention of sharing the burden of her cruel life with him. Kadis deserved nothing but happiness now, just like everyone else…
“Now I understand why you’ve always lacked confidence. It must have been so difficult, living in a young woman’s body.”
But Lyla thought Kadis, who had relied on that young woman, was even more pitiable. At least, that’s how she saw it.
“Alright. Let’s go to the capital together.”
Professor Charlier nodded.
“Leaving the place where you’ve lived your entire life is, in a way, a great adventure. If not for Lord Kadis’s support, I would never have set foot in the capital again.”
Charlier placed his other hand on Lyla’s shoulder and added with a resolute expression,
“I understand how you feel. Traveling together is far more reassuring than going alone, isn’t it?”
“Sniff… Yes, yes…”
Tears streamed down Lyla’s face.
Professor Charlier always knew what to say to comfort others.
If only she could be such a steadfast presence for someone else. But she couldn’t. That’s why leaving was the right choice.
Lyla buried her face in Professor Charlier’s embrace and cried like a child.
* * *
“It’s an honor to be welcomed so warmly.”
Professor Charlier couldn’t hide his surprise as he entered the banquet hall.
The head chef, upon hearing that the guest of honor was Professor Charlier, had prepared an exquisite feast.
The long dining table was filled with a variety of dishes served on luxurious silver platters. The delicious aroma wafted through the air even before the lids were removed.
“As your student, it’s only proper. Please, enjoy without reservation.”
Kadis replied formally as he took his seat.
Seated at the head of the table, Kadis had Charlier and Lyla sitting across from each other on either side.
In truth, Lyla didn’t want to see Kadis at all—not tonight, not until she left the North.
But it would have been unthinkable for an aide to skip a dinner hosted by their lord. Besides, it had been Lyla herself who had sent the invitation to Professor Charlier.
For these entirely public yet deeply personal reasons, Lyla had no choice but to sit firmly in her chair.