Part 19

“Haewon, stop crying, okay?”

Haewon was sobbing uncontrollably.

It was her last day of shooting. Unlike Seowoo, who still had some filming left, Haewon was done filming today. From the moment she arrived at the set, Haewon’s expression was not good, perhaps aware that it was her last day.

Seowoo squatted down in front of her and wiped the tears from her cheeks. By now, the corners of Seowoo’s eyes were red as well.

“After the shooting ends, let’s go to the amusement park, okay?”

“Really?”

“Of course. I’ve been too busy lately, but we can definitely make it happen once all the shooting is over.”

It was not just about shooting; she genuinely wanted to spend a day with Haewon.

She was thankful to Haewon for enduring the long schedule, but also because Haewon had helped lighten the burden of her own emotional struggles.

“Really?”

“Yes, I promise.”

Seowoo extended her pinky, and Haewon, trying hard to hold back her tears, linked her finger with Seowoo’s.

Seeing the small, white fingers hooked around her own, Seowoo’s cheeks were finally breached by tears. She hurriedly wiped them away, but once they started, the tears wouldn’t easily stop.

“Huhuh.”

At the sight of Seowoo crying, Haewon burst into tears again and hugged Seowoo tightly. Seowoo wrapped her hands around Haewon’s small head and embraced her tightly. The sweet, baby scent wafted into her nose.

“Eunbyul, Mommy is really thankful.”

Even though she was only her mother in the drama, Seowoo had grown incredibly fond of Haewon. 

The affection was enough to keep her tears flowing. 

Holding Haewon, Seowoo cried for a long time.

***

“This is a gift for Hewon.”

Seowoo handed Soo-kyung a shopping bag.

“Ms. Seowoo…”

Clearly not expecting it, Soo-kyung hesitated with an embarrassed look on her face. Seowoo placed the bag in her hands with a gentle smile.

“Don’t feel pressured.”

“I’m not sure if I should accept this.”

The previous day, Seowoo had managed to find some time during shooting to buy a gift for Haewon. Following the strong recommendation from a store employee, she bought a pretty princess-style dress and a tiara that she was told kids Haewon’s age would love. 

She hoped Haewon would be delighted by it. Tired from the night shoot, Haewon was currently asleep in the car seat.

“You’ve been working so hard as well, and thanks to Haewon, the shooting wrapped up well. It’s just a small token of thanks. And I also bought a gift for you and Haewon’s sibling. It’s nothing much.”

“No, it’s too much!”

“Please take it.”

Soo-kyung continued to decline, but Seowoo handed it over with a smile, crinkling her eyes. 

The sight of Soo-kyung, staunchly raising two children on her own, was inspirational to Seowoo. She envied and also felt sorry for her, who struggled so much for her children. 

Even though she was always busy and hardly had time to care for herself, Soo-kyung always made sure her children looked lovely. 

Seowoo really wanted to give her a small gift too.

“Can I take Haewon out for a day sometime?”

“Of course. She was bragging about it during the break today. That she was going to go out with Mommy Seowoo. I’m really grateful. And sorry for being such a bother.”

“No need to apologize at all. Please go ahead. You must be tired.”

As midnight drew closer, Seowoo urged Soo-kyung to leave, and Soo-kyung bowed politely in response. Seowoo reciprocated the gesture.

“Stay strong until the end! Thank you for the gift. I’ll always support you, Seowoo, and I’ll see you next time.”

“Thank you.”

Seowoo stood watching as Soo-kyung climbed into her car and drove away, remaining in place for quite some time after.

“Sigh.”

With Haewon’s shooting wrapped up, Seowoo felt an emptiness inside her. It was as if something was missing from her heart. 

She moved with heavy steps, her head bowed, when suddenly a familiar scent and a pair of shoes blocked her path.

“…When did you get here?”

Looking up, Seowoo saw Jiwook standing before her. Surprised by his sudden appearance, her eyes widened. 

It had been a few days since they last met. He had been busy, and apart from occasional messages, she hadn’t seen him. It felt like a long time.

“A little while ago. I called Heo Jung-ah and she said you were still shooting.”

“Ah…”

“I came because I missed you.”

Those words, ‘I missed you’, filled the emptiness in her heart with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Seowoo managed to pull a smile, and Jiwook grasped her hand.

“You look upset. What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong…

He’d never asked her so sweetly before. His concern felt so comforting that Seowoo smiled faintly and shook her head slightly.

“It’s nothing. Really, there’s nothing wrong.”

She denied it, but her expression was still downcast. Seeing her somewhat lonely eyes, Jiwook’s mood also sank.

“How long will you be shooting today?”

“Ah, about two more hours. Just need to wrap things up inside.”

“I’ll wait.”

“It’s already midnight.”

“What can I do? Someone who wants to see you has to wait.”

She wasn’t sure if it was because of their intertwined hands or perhaps his soothing voice but her gloomy mood seemed to lift slightly. Finally, Seowoo’s face brightened.

***

“Do you want to have a glass of wine?”

Seowoo, fresh out of the shower, approached Jiwook who was standing by the window, and asked. 

Jiwook had come to her house to give her a ride home after her shooting ended. He had intended to leave immediately, but perhaps because it had been so long since they last met, he found it hard to walk away.

Eventually, with Seowoo’s permission, he came up to her house.

“Are you done showering?” 

“Yes.”

As he looked down, Seowoo was holding a bottle of wine in her arms.

Her hair was still wet. Her clear face, free of makeup, captured his gaze.

She was still the same.

Whether it was when she was young, when he fell for her at twenty, or now. She was consistently beautiful. 

Watching her blink, a smile spread across Jiwook’s lips.

“Ah… You have to drive, so you shouldn’t.”

Seowoo looked a bit awkward as she spoke, noticing Jiwook quietly observing her.

It was nearly 4 AM already.

Soon, he would have to go to work.

“Let’s drink together. I’d like a glass too.”

Jiwook reached out and took the wine bottle from her hand. He skillfully opened the wine and poured it into glasses.

They sat side by side in chairs looking out the window. When Seowoo raised her glass, Jiwook clinked his glass against hers.

Clink-

Seowoo sipped the wine.

“It tastes good. They say it’s bad if the alcohol is too sweet.”

Perhaps because she was feeling down, the wine seemed especially sweet today.

“What’s bad about it?”

“If the alcohol is sweet, you end up drinking more. That’s why it’s not good.”

Seowoo smiled bitterly as she looked out the window. Jiwook also just stared out the window.

A moment of silence passed.

“What time is your shooting tomorrow?”

After a while, Jiwook was the first to speak.

“Noon. Tomorrow is the last day.”

The word ‘last’ felt painfully significant for her.

Perhaps because of the emotional strain lately, thinking that tomorrow would be the end made her heart heavy.

“You’ve worked hard. Good job.”

At his words, Seowoo turned her head to look at Jiwook.

Something seemed to be bothering him. Jiwook’s face had grown noticeably rougher over the past few days.

He also seemed more downcast than usual.

When she stared at him, not saying anything, he lowered his gaze and smiled faintly.

“Why?”

“It seems like you’re the one with something going on, Jiwook.”

“Does it look that way?”

“Yeah.”

Perhaps it was because she had spent so long observing his moods.

Seowoo was more sensitive to Jiwook’s emotional changes and moods than anyone else. She remembered how she always tried not to upset him by constantly checking his facial expressions. 

Jiwook didn’t respond, but instead gulped down the rest of his wine and then refilled his glass.

“Today was Haewon’s last shoot. So I felt a bit… off.”

Since the first broadcast, Jiwook had watched every episode of her drama. Although he still felt uncomfortable whenever romantic scenes with Sung-hyun appeared, he told himself it was just part of the job and tried to keep his emotions in check.

‘My Eunbyul, you look so beautiful today.’

He vividly remembered Seowoo’s happy smile as she watched her on-screen daughter in the drama. 

Her scenes where she put the child to bed or cooked meals were memorable, as were her frantic moments of running around after losing her daughter. 

It felt as real as if it weren’t a drama at all – Seowoo’s acting was more sincere than in any other of her works.

“We’ve decided to go to the amusement park next time. We’ll eat ice cream, buy cotton candy, wear matching headbands, and go on rides.”

Jiwook quietly listened to her. When she was halfway through her wine, she spoke again.

“Our Byul would have been about that age by now.”

Mentioning the nickname of their daughter brought a surge of emotions that she had been suppressing. Seowoo bit her lip and swallowed her tears, but they eventually overflowed, streaming down her cheeks. Jiwook watched silently for a moment before gently wiping the tears from her face.

“Now, as you said, it’s probably time to let it go… but it keeps coming back to me.”

Seowoo’s face crumpled as she struggled to get the words out.

She had lived like this for years after losing her child. Recalling those memories, he realized he had never properly comforted her. 

Before the divorce, he didn’t know how to console her, and after the divorce, he was absent due to the accident. He had left her alone.

Jiwook gritted his teeth and pulled her small, trembling shoulders into an embrace. Seowoo’s sobs grew thicker.

“I’m sorry.”

It was the best comfort he could offer her right now.

Jiwook gently stroked her back as she cried. Watching the drama, he had also had that thought.

That if Byul had come to be, she’d be as big as Haewon now.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

Jiwook apologized again.

He regretted not being by her side during the painful times, and not being able to empathize with what she was going through.

He now understood why Seowoo had taken on this drama. Why she had come out of her solitude to face the outside world.

Jiwook held Seowoo’s shoulders and looked into her face.

Seowoo gazed back at him with her tear-filled eyes. Seeing her, Jiwook’s own emotions rose up, and his eyes also became moist.

“I think it’s time to let her go.”

“Seowoo.”

“I think this is enough. Our daughter wouldn’t be upset, right?”

The sobbing Seowoo tried to smile forcefully. Jiwook cupped her cheek with his hand and gave a bittersweet smile.

“Yeah. I’m sure Byul would understand your feelings completely. So it’s okay.”

‘It’s okay’.

Perhaps that was the one thing she had most wanted to hear from him.

Seowoo placed her hand over his on her cheek, giving a faint smile.