Part 5

Seowoo avoided his hand and turned her head to look out the window. Jiwook also withdrew his hand and turned his gaze to the outside with her.

Silence quickly settled in the room.

No one said a word, they just looked outside.

“What are you thinking about?”

After a while, Jiwook broke the silence. Seowoo had her knees drawn up and was hugging them to her chest.

After a long silence following his question, Seowoo finally spoke.

“Sometimes, I dream.”

A puzzled look flashed across Jiwook’s eyes. Seowoo’s gaze was as subdued as her voice.

I dream sometimes.

I dream of the hellish days when I lost Byul. I dream of the happy days when I was with you, Jiwook.

And…….

“Tell me. I’m listening.”

Seowoo bit her lip and shook her head slightly. She had dreamt about that day again last night.

In the winter of her twenties, when she got stood up by him.

It was so disappointing, so upsetting. The feeling that she was the only one sincere was still as vivid as if it had just happened.

When she opened her eyes, the sight of his face, not knowing it was just a dream, was a pleasant surprise.

“Why do you want to get married again?”

Seowoo asked, seemingly curious.

Their relationship had been flawed. Already too much hurt had already been done, too many irreparable things had come between them.

Even if they went back, it would only repeat.

“Because I regret it.”

Jiwook answered.

At the time, I thought I did the best I could in every moment, but in hindsight, I realized I didn’t.

So I wanted to take it back.

To express and love better than I did then.

“I’m not sure…I can.”

By now, Seowoo’s eyes were moist. When they made eye contact, she looked as if she might cry at any moment.

“Yesterday, while running through the amusement park crying, I just couldn’t stop the tears.”

Although she was immersed and focused in every moment of filming, yesterday was different from other days.

The emotions that had been eating away at her from the moment she got the script hit her deeply. Tears poured down her face at the thought of actually losing a child.

“You don’t know this, but… our Byul, she looked so much like you.”

“…….”

“That’s why when I look at you, I think of her so much.”

Eventually, tears flowed down her cheeks. Seowoo quickly wiped her face with her hands. Jiwook watched quietly and then grasped her small hand. She tried to twist away, but he pulled a little harder.

Seowoo’s frail body helplessly fell into his embrace. His familiar scent filled the air.

The same scent that broke her heart at the mere whiff of it in passing.

“I’m sorry.”

Her struggling movements suddenly stopped as if they were a lie. Jiwook held her a bit tighter.

“I don’t think I’ve ever said I’m sorry properly, and I’m sorry for that, too.”

A lump rose in her throat at the sincerity of his words. His large hand stroked down her back in a soothing gesture.

Seowoo’s sobbing deepened. Jiwook’s brow furrowed, and he let out a small sigh.

It was all my fault.

I broke Seowoo’s heart like this. Until she couldn’t talk to me and kept blaming herself.

It was my fault for not being there for her, and it had taken me a long time to face that reality and admit it.

“Sob.”

And maybe Seowoo was waiting for his heartfelt consolation.

The tears were different from the sadness she had felt before; these were tears wrung out by heart-wrenching pain. Seowoo cried for a long time in his embrace.

***

After crying for a while, she felt somewhat refreshed. He wiped her face and comforted her. Jiwook soothed her for a long time.

And then…

“Why aren’t you lying down?”

He was lying on the hospital bed, one arm outstretched.

The bed wasn’t too narrow, but it was a tight fit for two. Especially since Jiwook’s large frame alone nearly filled the bed.

Seated next to him, Seowoo looked visibly perplexed.

It seemed he meant for her to lie down using his arm as a pillow, but there hardly seemed enough space to even lie down beside him unless she hugged him tightly.

“…”

“Why?”

He asked shamelessly, as if questioning her hesitation.

They had lived together but had never used each other’s arms as a pillow.

It was somewhat absurd to think about being cozy enough to do so now. Biting her lip in contemplation, Seowoo let her legs hang off the bed.

“I’ll just sleep on the sofa…!”

At that moment, his hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. It happened in an instant.

“What are you talking about? A patient on the sofa? Come on, lie down. Let’s sleep together.”

“No, I don’t want to.”

“Let’s go to sleep, Seowoo, okay?”

In an instant, she was pulled down by his strength. As Seowoo tried to sit up again, Jiwook wrapped his arms around her.

“Let me go.”

Seowoo looked him in the eyes and spoke firmly. They were too close. Despite countless times their lips and bodies had touched, today felt embarrassingly unusual.

“I’m not going to do anything now, just sleep.”

“…”

Despite his words, she could feel the heat of his body pressed against hers. A heavy laugh escaped her through clenched teeth.

How could he say he won’t do anything when he’s in this state?

As she stared at him incredulously, Jiwook slowly blinked and opened his mouth.

“Why?”

“It’s uncomfortable.”

He tenderly brushed her hair aside as he spoke.

“I’ll put you to sleep.”

“…”

The gentle way he brushed her hair made Seowoo’s face flush with embarrassment. She also felt a bit angry.

Was this the same person who had been so cold all this time?

She felt angry, wronged, and upset.

Suddenly feeling unjustly treated, Seowoo looked up as he touched the corner of her eye.

“Go to sleep.”

“…”

“Don’t look at me like that, so prettily.”

What was he saying?

Seowoo narrowed her eyes, blinking in disbelief. The man who had been touching her eyelashes paused then slightly raised his upper body and lowered his lips towards her.

“……!”

Startled by the sudden kiss, Seowoo’s eyes fluttered open. He bit down hard on her lips, then gently tugged her chin away.

He pushed his tongue through her parted lips as he raised his body further over hers. Seowoo squeezed her eyes shut as he was on top of her in an instant and pushed against Jiwook’s shoulders.

“Mmph!”

His tongue greedily pushed deep, blocking her breath. His hot breath filled her mouth. Just a moment ago, he was talking about sleeping only, and now his impure hands were caressing her waist.

The strange pleasure spreading through her made Seowoo gasp for air, barely managing to shake her head.

“Mmm, mmm!”

He’s only touching from the waist up, but his slow movements were frustratingly tantalizing.

Despite sternly refusing, it was so incongruous to see herself crumble under the kiss.

His large hands slid up her waist and cupped her cheeks as he kissed her.

Saliva tangled and a wet sound rang in her ears, stirring a slow heat in her lower belly.

After a light kiss, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at her.

“I regret so many things, I can’t even count them.”

Jiwook’s gaze slowly swept across Seowoo’s face.

Her rounded forehead, thick eyebrows, lush eyelashes, the small scar beside her eye, her nose, and her red lips.

As Seowoo slowly lifted her eyelids, Jiwook met her eyes and continued speaking.

“There’s one thing I regret the most.”

“…”

“That I never once told you, not even once, that I loved you.”

She had never even expected those cliche words of love from him.

Given Jiwook’s reserved nature, he had never expressed his feelings to her.

Seowoo’s black eyes trembled at this unexpected confession. His serious look made her heart sink.

“Ever since we met again in front of the school, there hasn’t been a single moment when I didn’t love you.”

“I don’t want to hear this.”

Seowoo covered her ears with her hands and closed her eyes.

Suddenly, she was afraid.

She was afraid that once she heard his sincerity, her heart would be shaken without hesitation. After hurting her heart so many times, she was afraid of letting herself hope again.

But then his warm hand grabbed her small one and pulled it down.

“Even if you don’t want to hear it, I hope you listen.”

“I don’t want to. Why are you always like this? When you leave, when you come back. Every time…….”

She was overwhelmed with a surge of emotion, feeling like she was an easily disposable existence.

Did he think that if he confessed belatedly, I would come running back in his arms, even after crying in his embrace out of nowhere?

For Seowoo, it seemed like Jiwook was doing this for his own comfort.

“My feelings for you…”

“…”

“From before, and even now, they’re still the same. I love you a lot.”

Jiwook finally voiced those words. Seowoo glared at him with resentment.

It all seemed to be about making himself feel better. Regardless of how the other person felt, as long as he confessed his own feelings, that’s all that mattered.

His selfish behavior made her feel suffocated.

“So, give me one more chance.”

Jiwook said with a firm voice and embraced her again.

He wonders if she realized the desperation behind his resolve.

Just holding her like this made his heart ache.

Jiwook finally realized that he would never be able to let go of her.