Chapter 21

“Whatever job you have, whoever you marry, we can continue to stay in touch. If we both make the effort.”

Axel’s words were wrong.

First of all, Madame Fedelian would not stand idly by and let that happen.

Also, if things stayed as they were, it was clear that only her heart would keep getting more and more worn out.

Judith spoke in a voice full of fatigue.

“I already told you, Axel. I can’t do that. I’ve already decided to distance myself from you.”

Axel looked confused. He asked with wavering eyes.

“…Is this a decision you made entirely on your own?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Did someone else influence your decision?”

It was a sharp question. Of course, Axel probably didn’t mean it that way.

Judith almost let her expression slip but managed to maintain it.

“What are you talking about?”

She deliberately snapped back, pretending to be angry to hide her embarrassment.

“Do I seem like someone who would say something I don’t mean because I’m swayed by others?”

Even though she suddenly got angry, Axel remained calm.

“I didn’t mean to say you’re someone without conviction.”

He continued speaking quietly.

“But the Judith I know… wouldn’t distance herself from me for such reasons.”

His words made her heart flutter.

What does Axel know about Judith?

What do you really know about me? You don’t even know I’ve been in unrequited love for you for over ten years…

Judith, as if there was nothing more to see, began organizing the documents on the desk with a brisk motion.

“If you’re done, please leave. I’m busy with these.”

But Axel still didn’t leave. Just as she was about to say something else, a soft voice pierced her ears.

“Judith.”

At the mention of her name, Judith instinctively looked up.

“Are you okay without me?”

“…”

The sudden question left Judith speechless, as if her lips were glued shut.

Why was Axel asking such a question?

She couldn’t understand his intentions, so she couldn’t think of an answer.

Because the question of whether she was okay was, at least to Judith, a meaningless one.

What if she wasn’t okay? Would anything change?

Even if it became unbearable because Axel wasn’t by her side, there was nothing she could do about it.

Suddenly, she recalled the image of Axel happily talking with someone else. And the sight of him turning his back without hesitation after saying goodbye.

Judith clenched her fist tightly and opened her mouth.

“Of course, it wouldn’t be easy. But I’d get used to it quickly. Just like you’re doing fine without me.”

Axel was silent for a while at her words, then quietly spoke.

“You think I’m doing fine?”

“…”

“I’m just pretending to be okay.”

A silence that felt eternal, though it was brief.

It felt like time had stopped for a moment.

Judith didn’t know how much time had passed. Once she regained her senses, she finally managed to speak.

But this time, her voice trembled slightly.

“Why?”

Axel, who was standing by the wall, murmured softly and took a step closer.

“If I showed there was something wrong with our relationship, it would draw attention to you.”

Even though it was just one step, it felt like Axel had come right up to her, and Judith held her breath.

When she looked up at his white face, it seemed expressionless and cold.

“You don’t like being the center of attention. I didn’t want you to feel burdened because of me.”

He continued.

“But I couldn’t just stand by and watch you drift away like this.”

Axel, who had come closer, looked down at Judith from an angle. His blue-gray gaze clung to her and wouldn’t let go.

“I can understand you getting engaged without telling me and even taking the probationary teaching position.”

Axel’s voice had sunk heavily.

“But please don’t push me away like this.”

His gaze, which had been fixed on Judith, finally shifted. Axel lowered his eyes and looked somewhere else.

For a while, a heavy silence filled the space between them. Judith tried hard to calm her tumultuous heart. And she thought.

No matter how positively she tried to view it, her existence could only act negatively for Axel.

Even if she graduated at the top of the academy, she couldn’t erase her status as a commoner.

In fact, now was a time when the constraints of status were less severe, but after graduation, she would get caught up in even bigger scandals.

It was a time to harden her resolve.

“I’m doing this for you.”

“How is this for me?”

Axel furrowed one brow, asking as if he couldn’t understand at all.

Hearing that, Madame Fedelian’s voice echoed in her mind.

‘Axel is a smart child. Although he plays freely with Judith now, he will learn to conduct himself properly as he grows. The only heir to lead the Fedelian family in the future should be able to do at least that.’

Yes, she still owed Madame Fedelian a debt of gratitude.

It hurt her heart, but under Axel’s gaze demanding a detailed explanation, Judith could only speak vaguely.

“Anyway, it’s for you.”

“…”

Watching Judith avoid giving a detailed answer, Axel bit his lip silently.

* * *

Hannah, glancing at Judith’s expression, cautiously asked.

“Judith, is something wrong?”

Judith shook her head with a smile. Hannah looked at her quietly and thought.

Since roommates were usually fixed unless there were particular issues, Hannah had known Judith for four years.

But during all that time, Judith had never revealed her innermost thoughts.

Looking back, it was always Hannah who shared her worries, and Judith played the role of counselor.

So this time, Hannah wanted to listen to Judith’s concerns.

“Are you tired because of the accounting remedial class?”

“No.”

“Then?”

Just as Judith was about to say something, Hannah interrupted.

“Don’t say it’s nothing.”

“…”

“You were about to say you’re fine, weren’t you?”

Judith awkwardly smiled, as if Hannah had guessed correctly. Seeing that, Hannah spoke again.

“Don’t try to brush it off with a smile.”

Judith froze in place, her smile turning to stone. Hannah sighed.

“If you have something on your mind, just share it. What are friends for? Of course, it might be too complicated for me to solve. But at least you’ll feel better.”

Hannah suddenly felt uneasy.

Come to think of it… she was the only one who considered Judith a friend.

In hindsight, Hannah realized she knew very little about Judith.

Judith knew everything about her family relationships, favorite foods, and hobbies.

It was only natural. Judith always held back when it came to talking about herself.

If she hadn’t persistently asked, she might not even have known Judith’s birthday.

While Hannah was suppressing her discomfort, Judith’s tightly closed lips opened.

“You know.”

After hesitating a bit, Judith continued.

“You said before that to forget unrequited love, you just need to avoid seeing them. If you avoid them as much as possible, the feelings will eventually fade.”

As soon as she heard the story, Hannah realized that what Judith was about to say was an extension of their previous conversation.

Soon, Judith spoke in a voice that seemed thin enough to break.

“But what if you keep running into them?”

Oh my.

Hannah, moved, covered her mouth with both hands.

Judith was finally opening up about her worries.

Maybe those four years hadn’t been entirely in vain.

But her astonishment was short-lived, and she soon smiled kindly. She spoke in the gentlest voice possible to the anxious-looking Judith.

“I told you last time. You just need to find another new love. When someone you like more than the person you originally liked comes along, you’ll naturally forget.”

“I heard that, but…”

Judith trailed off, then spoke.

“No matter how hard I try, it doesn’t seem like I’ll find someone I like more.”

“…Oh dear.”

Hannah couldn’t close her gaping mouth.

…She hadn’t realized Judith was so deeply infatuated with Chase Cardandy.

What charm could have captivated her so?

Judith didn’t seem like the type to be swayed by a handsome face, so was there some other charm?

Perhaps Chase Cardandy was the kind of person who was harsh to others but secretly took good care of his fiancée. People often fell for such traits.

Hannah approached the deeply troubled Judith.

Then she promptly sat beside her and gently patted her shoulders, which seemed even more delicate today.

“Judith, don’t give up. Isn’t it too early to give up?”

“…Too early?”