Chapter 58

So is that why I had such a dream?

Why does it matter so much that Judith likes that sly guy, to the point of tormenting me even in my dreams?

Of course, Chase was a bit confused the day he found out Judith had a crush on Axel. He was swayed by emotions he had never experienced before.

But after some time, he concluded that he was just a little surprised by unexpected news.

Wasn’t it a relationship that promised there would be no love in the first place? So it wasn’t his business whom Judith gave her heart to.

Then why, now, are all these emotions eating away at me?

Chase soon closed his eyes as if in pain.

After learning that Judith liked Axel, he began to understand various circumstances.

When he first met her, when he declared that even if they got engaged, he wouldn’t love her.

In hindsight, the emotion that passed over Judith’s face at the time was clearly… relief.

Judith was relieved to hear that Chase wouldn’t love her.

That’s why.

Because Judith already had someone she loved.

Everything was a jumble. It was strange.

Why was I so flustered by the fact that Judith loved someone else, while I myself kept telling her not to love me?

And why was I feeling this unfamiliar emotion? 

He had no idea where this feeling stemmed from.

Suddenly, the words Judith had said during their first meeting flashed through his mind.

‘I’m not foolish enough to expect love from a forced relationship.’

…If that’s the case, even if I stay engaged to Judith, she’ll never love me. Even if we spend our whole lives together, Judith…

Chase soon placed his hand on his chest.

For some reason, his chest felt hot. As if he were about to be engulfed by a rising fever.

* * *

The next day, Chase left the Cardandy mansion as if fleeing.

Ignoring his father’s suggestion to have a long-overdue family meal and the gaze of his brother, who stared at him insistently.

He used the excuse of not feeling well.

Fortunately, Chase’s complexion was pale, and his mother sided with him, allowing him to leave the mansion early.

He took a carriage back to the academy. Just like when he came to the mansion, Chase kept his eyes fixed on the large window.

The passing scenery was beautiful, but he couldn’t focus on it.

‘You were afraid, weren’t you? Afraid of facing a situation like this, so you deliberately avoided it.’

‘Were you scared? Afraid of being hurt by love. So you didn’t even try to start?’

‘But what can you do, you’ve already…’

What was the Judith in my nightmare trying to say to me?

Just as he was about to hear the last part, he woke up from the dream. He was curious, but he was rather glad he didn’t hear it.

The person in the nightmare probably wouldn’t have said anything good to him.

Chase firmly resolved to himself.

When I return to the academy, I need to meet Judith and prove that there’s no way I like her.

Chase intended to clearly tell Judith again. That he wouldn’t love her and that she shouldn’t love him either.

Yes. It was rather fortunate that Judith loved Axel.

Since her heart was with Axel, there was no chance she’d come to like him.

At that moment, his heart throbbed as if bruised. It was strange. Could a heart get bruised?

But Chase brushed it off as a figment of his imagination.

As soon as he arrived at the academy, he got off the carriage. The weekend hadn’t ended yet. Thus, the academy was still quiet, with no students walking around.

Chase walked alone through the empty campus. He moved his legs mechanically.

He thought about secretly calling out Judith at the girls’ dormitory like last time, but before he could take a few steps, he spotted Judith sitting on a bench.

A coincidence so perfect it could be called fate.

Chase stopped in his tracks and looked at Judith. She was holding a notebook, scribbling something diligently.

Under the rainbow-like morning sunlight, her beautiful pink hair fluttered in the wind, just like in the dream.

Chase quietly approached Judith from behind, trying not to make any noise. He peeked to see what she was doing.

Was she studying even on the weekend?

But Judith was drawing a small bird in her notebook.

Her skill was quite impressive. Chase recalled that Judith’s minor was art.

At the same time, he thought the bird she was drawing, with its round eyes, somehow resembled Judith.

Does the drawing style follow its owner?

With such idle thoughts, Chase plopped down next to Judith. She jumped in surprise, pulling back. Her expression was tense.

But upon confirming that it was him sitting beside her—

“Chase?”

She immediately relaxed her stiff expression and straightened her posture, as if relieved, and perhaps even welcoming him.

Seeing that, Chase’s bruised heart fluttered once more, but he quickly shook his head, barely managing to suppress it.

Chase reaffirmed to himself that he must not be feeling well and that he should return to the dormitory to rest.

So he needed to tell Judith quickly that he didn’t love her. Otherwise, he might have that nightmare again tonight.

But the words he intended to say wouldn’t come out. Instead, something else slipped out.

“What are you doing sitting here alone?”

“I was drawing.”

Judith held out the notebook in her hand. Up close, the bird seemed even more like Judith. Chase muttered without realizing it.

“It’s nice… kind of cute, actually.”

In truth, it was more than just kind of cute.

He usually thought birds were noisy and annoying, but for the first time, Chase realized he liked birds.

But then Judith tore the page out with a rip.

Was she going to throw it away? 

Just as he resolved to secretly pick it up if she did, Judith suddenly handed the paper to him.

“Then take it, it’s a gift.”

“……”

“You gave me cookies, remember? I didn’t know, but those are really hard to get, right? You have to wait in line for ages to buy them.”

As Chase silently blinked, holding the paper, Judith tilted her head.

“Don’t you like it? You said it was cute.”

“…I like it.”

Chase carefully tucked the paper into his jacket pocket, ensuring it wouldn’t get crumpled. He even remembered to button it.

Judith observed Chase and, noting his rather fancy attire, asked.

“So what were you up to? Where did you go?”

“I went home.”

“Really? But you came back quickly.”

“Yeah.”

Judith didn’t ask further. Perhaps she had guessed the reason for his quick return from what she had overheard about his family affairs during the cleaning.

It seemed she had discovered that his home life wasn’t very harmonious.

Feeling embarrassed, Chase quickly changed the subject.

“Oh, right. Did you hear that the summer party has been postponed because Axel got injured?”

Judith’s expression noticeably darkened. She seemed worried about the injured Axel.

Chase’s chest tingled again, but he suppressed it. Then, pretending nothing was wrong, he asked Judith.

“He’s a good friend of yours, right? Is he okay?”

“…Oh, yeah. Axel’s not seriously hurt.”

“I see. It’s a relief he’s not badly injured.”

“Yeah. Once he recovers, the party will be rescheduled.”

In truth, Chase didn’t care at all whether Axel was injured or not. He was just curious. Curious about how Judith would react when he brought up Axel.

As expected, Judith seemed very concerned about that guy Axel. And somehow, that made it unbearable for him.

Was that why? Without realizing it, he asked.

“…Really? Then, would you like to attend the party with me?”

Judith’s eyes widened. She probably didn’t expect him to ask such a question.

Well, Chase had always skipped academy events.

So she probably thought this party would be no exception.

But this year was different. Since they were engaged, he thought it was only right for him to be her official partner.

If she wanted to attend the party, that is.

But then, blinking her eyes as if troubled, Judith said.

“What should I do, I’m sorry. I already have another appointment.”

“…”

As soon as he heard those words, it felt like his chest dropped with a thud. Chase couldn’t even manage his expression and froze.

When he finally turned to look at Judith, her face was full of awkwardness.

I’ve made Judith uncomfortable.

He didn’t want to trouble her any further. But his body and mind seemed to act separately. Without realizing it, the next question slipped out of his mouth.

“…Is that appointment with Axel?”