Chapter 87

After the consultation with Professor Karel, the sun had already set by the time Judith stepped outside. She raised her head to look at the sky, which had turned completely dark.

She knew the days were shorter now that winter was approaching, but she hadn’t expected it to get this dark so quickly.

As a cold wind blew, Judith instinctively hunched her shoulders slightly.

The path back to the dormitory was lined with trees, all of which were bare and desolate.

It was a rather bleak sight, but for some reason, she couldn’t take her eyes off it.

If Judith didn’t become a supplementary professor, today would be the last time she’d see this scenery.

The thought that this winter might be her final one at the Academy gave her a bittersweet feeling.

Although she had decided during her consultation with Professor Karel to accept the position of supplementary professor, that didn’t mean her worries had completely vanished.

In fact, she now felt a growing fear of the unknown challenges that lay ahead.

The path Judith had chosen was far from ordinary, making it difficult to imagine what her future might look like.

She also felt a vague sense of guilt, wondering if she was causing unnecessary trouble for Chase.

But for today, she resolved to set her worries aside. After all, overthinking wouldn’t change anything.

From now on, she would share her concerns with Chase.

To distract herself, Judith reflected on the recent events in her life.

For some reason, the past few days felt like a distant memory. So much had happened in such a short time.

Just a few months ago, when she had cried after hearing Axel’s request for her to become his assistant after graduation, she couldn’t have imagined the events that would follow.

Who could have predicted it? That Judith would let go of her feelings for Axel. And not only that—Axel, in turn, would develop feelings for her.

Judith, who had planned to return to the dormitory after a brief pause, changed her mind and decided to stay a little longer to take in the scenery.

She carefully sat down on a bench chilled by the cold air.

After all, even if she returned to the dormitory, her restless mind would likely keep her from falling asleep.

She might end up tossing and turning in bed, disturbing Hannah’s peaceful sleep.

Wrapping her arms around herself to fend off the cold, Judith shivered as the crisp air brushed against her nose.

She thought to herself that she should share this news with Chase soon.

Although Chase had told her to do as she wished and that he would respect her decision, she knew this was something he, too, would need to prepare himself for.

Chase had said he would try to persuade the Cardandy family, but was it really okay for her to sit idly by while he faced that ordeal alone?

As she pondered how she could support someone who always put her first, a thought suddenly crossed her mind.

Why was I waiting for Chase to handle his family on his own? I could go with him.

After all, Judith was the one who wanted to delay the engagement in the first place. It didn’t make sense for her to stay out of the discussions entirely.

Moreover, she had yet to formally greet Chase’s parents. This could be a good opportunity to introduce herself before the engagement took place.

Of course, it wasn’t an ideal reason for a visit.

Even though the Cardandy family had proposed the engagement, she doubted they would wholeheartedly welcome a commoner as their daughter-in-law.

But she couldn’t let Chase endure such an uncomfortable situation on his own.

‘Even if Chase says it’s fine, I’ll insist on visiting the Cardandy estate myself.’

With her fists clenched tightly, Judith made up her mind.

Just as she finished sorting through her thoughts and was about to head back to the dormitory, she noticed a figure standing under a distant streetlamp.

The person began walking directly toward Judith, and even in the dim light, she immediately recognized who it was.

The familiar face that seemed to shine even in the dark night—it was Axel.

Judith hesitated, unsure whether she should greet him or pretend not to notice and walk away.

But judging by his quick strides, it seemed he had something to say.

When he finally reached her, Axel spoke in his usual calm tone.

“Why are you out here so late?”

His face, devoid of even the slightest smile and stiff with seriousness, no longer felt unfamiliar to her.

Judith gave a composed reply.

“I stayed late consulting with Professor Karel. What about you? Why are you out here?”

“…I couldn’t sleep.”

After saying this, Axel stared intently at Judith. She didn’t need to ask to know that she was the reason for his sleeplessness.

Judith pretended not to notice and tried to excuse herself.

“Well, then, I should…”

“Judith, can I ask you something?”

Axel took a step closer to her, his presence accompanied by the cold night air.

His familiar scent reached her, but unlike before, her heart no longer raced or fluttered. Instead, a sense of unease swept over her.

Still, it didn’t feel right to ignore him and leave. Reluctantly, Judith nodded.

“…Go ahead.”

Though she had given him permission, silence lingered between them. After a moment of hesitation, Axel finally spoke.

“I’ve just been curious about something for a while. You and I have shared a bond that spans years…”

“…”

“How could you sever that so easily? And why, in the end, did you choose Chase over me?”

“Axel…”

“No matter how much I think about it, I just can’t understand.”

If anyone else had said those words, they might have come across as arrogant, but coming from Axel, they were hard to refute.

He was right. Axel had always been by Judith’s side, as a friend or even like family, ever since they were young.

She owed him more than she could count.

As Judith remained silent, unable to respond, Axel hung his head and continued.

“You’ve said many times that this was all for my sake. But it’s not like I haven’t thought about our future together… And yet, you’ve been trying to push me away all this time.”

“…”

“You’re right—Chase and I are very different. But your change started long before he came into the picture. Tell me, Judith. What about me made you so miserable?”

At first glance, Axel seemed resigned, as if he had accepted everything. But at the same time, he seemed unable to come to terms with the situation.

Judith had never seen him so emotional before, and it left her at a loss for words.

But Axel deserved an answer. Perhaps now, with everything settled, was the right time to speak.

Taking a deep breath, Judith began.

“Axel, when I said I liked you, I meant it.”

“…”

“I couldn’t hold back my feelings for you, even after considering everything. You remember the moment I confessed to you, don’t you?”

Looking at Axel now, Judith felt as though she were facing her past self.

How quickly their roles had reversed.

The difference was that Judith had hidden her feelings out of fear, while Axel was now expressing his openly.

“But back then, you didn’t believe my confession. You even told me about your new engagement. After that, I spent a long time trying to let go of my feelings for you.”

“That’s—”

“I know. That engagement didn’t mean anything, and our timing was just off. But in the process of trying to let go of you, I started to discover new things I couldn’t give up.”

Before the now-dazed Axel, Judith smiled softly.

“For so long, you were my everything. I thought I couldn’t live without you. But as time passed, I found new friends, a fiancé, and even dreams I thought I’d never have.”

“…”

“And then I realized—maybe, in the name of caring for each other, we were actually holding each other back.”

“Judith—”

“Axel, let me be clear. We’re still young. We have more days ahead of us than behind us.”

Judith spoke sincerely, offering him advice.

“And there will be many more things in life that can’t be achieved through sheer willpower. When you eventually move on from your feelings for me, you’ll understand. You’ll look back and realize that what seemed so difficult wasn’t such a big deal after all.”

“…And if I can’t?”

Axel asked in a hoarse voice.

“What if I never find someone else to love? What if you were my destiny? What if I was a fool to let you go?”

A single tear slid down his pale gray eyes. Judith, knowing how great his sense of loss must be, couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

All she could do, as his long-time friend, was silently pat his back.

“That’s not true, Axel. You’ll find happiness, just like I did.”

“…As much as you?”

“Yes.”

Judith smiled brightly, like someone who had finally found her destination after wandering a long and treacherous path.

Axel, staring blankly at her, asked in a quiet voice.

“…Are you happy now, Judith?”

“Very much so.”